Chapter 68
Jorick came back to the house in time to bundle Katelina up and head down to bed. She was too tired to demand answers, as she'd planned, so she made a mental note to press him later. He could only avoid her questions for so long. Though, she sometimes wondered if he was evasive naturally, or had come to be that way after some long uncounted number of years.
That was something she didn't like to think about, so she didn't. She curled up next to him in the ridiculous carved bed, and went to sleep. When she woke up the next evening he was already gone, so she got dressed and padded upstairs on her own.
The house was eerily quiet and dark except for a snapping fire in the front room grate. Katelina wrapped her arms around herself and shivered in the thick atmosphere. Some houses felt happy, or peaceful, but this one felt sad; very, very sad. It was like the wood and plaster oozed some old heartbreak.
She shook off her depressing fantasies and made herself breakfast. She'd just finished eating when Jorick and Loren walked through the front door.
"- I will, I will," Loren was saying in an exasperated voice. "You don't need to nag!"
Jorick looked beautifully offended. "I'm not nagging you. I simply want to see you do what you said you would."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Loren dropped into one of the wing backed chairs. His dark eyes sought Katelina's and he asked with a smirk, "Does he boss you around this much?"
"More."
Though Katelina couldn't keep from laughing, Jorick didn't seem to find it very amusing. "I don't 'boss' anyone around. I merely make suggestions that you'd otherwise not think of on your own."
Loren gave him an incredulous eye roll. "If you say so." He turned back to Katelina. "So, what's the deal with you two?"
A small, choking noise escaped Katelina's throat. She looked to Jorick for help, but his face was a mask she couldn't read. What was she supposed to say? That they were- What were they? Even she didn't know what "the deal" was.
"So what's the deal with you and Jorick?" the teen repeated. "Are you like going out or what?"
"Going out?" she echoed weakly. "I think I'm a little old for that."
"Ah, you can't be that old." He leaned forward, his eyes narrowed as he scrutinized her. "Well, on second thought."
Katelina looked suitably insulted and Loren laughed. His mirth was short lived because Jorick smacked him in the back of the head.
"Hey!"
"Enough. Don't you have somewhere to be?"
Loren rubbed his scalp and scowled. "No, not really." Jorick gave him a hard look and Loren relented. "Okay, yeah, I guess I do. Something super important must have come up somewhere."
Katelina looked from one to the other, but neither seemed ready to explain. Loren just got up and glared at Jorick. He was barely through the door before Jorick shut it firmly and snapped the lock into place.
"So what was that?"
"What was what?" Jorick asked innocently. "Loren has some things to do, that's all."
Ah. It wasn't hard to figure out what he meant. "You've got him running errands?"
His surprise seemed genuine. "What?"
She blinked, confused. "Then what's the rush to get rid of him?"
"No rush," Jorick commented casually. "You've eaten?"
"Yes." She pointed to the empty carton in her lap. "But if you're going to get microwaveable food you really need a microwave. They cook up funny in the oven."
"Do they?" he asked with no real interest.
It was a conversation bound for nowhere, so she just nodded her head and watched him curiously as he started searching the front room. It was too weird, so she asked, "What are you doing?"
He didn't reply, but instead wandered off in the direction of the dining room and disappeared through the doorway.
"Thanks for answering me," she called after him but, if he heard, he made no comment.
Loren's question popped to the surface of her consciousness and she puzzled over the answer. What were they, really? It seemed to be a relationship that defied a label. Boyfriend seemed a too trendy, too simple word, but lover was far too deep and passionate. They weren't "partners" They were just- just what?
She had no answer. She wasn't even sure how she felt about him, let alone how he felt about her. He'd invited her to stay, but he'd never said he wanted it. Maybe he was being polite, or obligated? She knew he felt responsible for dragging her into the mess with the vampires, but how far did his obligation extend?
She sighed heavily and closed her eyes. He might not say he wanted her, or even cared about her, but he did say she was beautiful. Still, that was only so many words, wasn't it? It wasn't as though he'd made any moves on her since- since-
She couldn't finish the sentence. The word refused to slot itself into her thoughts, and she didn't want it to. It had been since Claudius, hadn't it? Since he'd hurt her. Jorick had as much as said it didn't matter, hadn't he? But maybe it really did. Maybe that was more of his obligatory politeness.
"I'll ask him point blank," she thought. But, she knew she wouldn't because she was too afraid of the answer. And what good would it do anyway? Even if he was interested, would she be? She'd seen movies where woman went crazy after things like that; where they spazzed out suddenly and tried to claw their husband's face off because of a mental throwback. Did people really do that? Would she do that?
The sound of Jorick's footsteps brought her back to the living room, and she looked up to see him come through the door with an armload of black cloth. He shook it out into a long coat and gave her a smile. "It might be a little big, but I think it will do."
Katelina stood uncertainly and took the coat. The familiar smell of Jorick wafted out of it as she slipped it on. Her first thought was that he was right; it was too big. The sleeves more than covered her hands and what was meant to be calf length fluttered around her ankles.
Jorick smiled at the effect. "It will do nicely. Go get your shoes."
"Why?"
"I thought we'd go for a walk, unless you don't want to," he added. "If you prefer to stay here?"
"No, no," she said quickly. "A walk sounds good."
Ten minutes later Jorick was dressed in the twin to the coat she wore, though his fit better, and they were out the door. Katelina walked beside him, her hands buried in her coat pockets and her head down against a chilly breeze. The sky above them was overcast, with only a hint of diffused moonlight to remind them that there was something above the clouds.
They walked across the yard to the stand of trees and then through it. Katelina was more aware of every small noise than she used to be and the only thing that kept her from turning back for the house was the man beside her. No matter how confusing their "status" might be, she knew Jorick wouldn't let anything hurt her if he could stop it.
They made it out the other side of the trees without incident, and Katelina found herself in a strange place. Ahead, the sloping grassland suddenly disappeared into sand. It was like standing on the edge of the world.
Jorick smiled at some unspoken thought, then wrapped an arm around her and pulled her closer. "You've never seen the beach?"
"No," she admitted, her eyes on the horizon. In the dark she could hear the ocean waves, but couldn't see anything. "I've never been this far east before."
He fell silent for a moment, and when he spoke again his tone was somber. "I'm sure it's far more spectacular in the sunlight."
"Probably," she agreed absently. "It's louder than I imagined it would be. And it doesn't smell very ocean-y."
His amusement returned. "Ocean-y? What is that supposed to mean?"
"You know, like an ocean. It just smells like any old river; all fishy and river-y. I thought it was supposed to have a salty tang or something?"
Jorick laughed loudly and Katelina finally tore her attention away to glare at him. "What?"
His eyes twinkled and he squeezed her against him for a moment. "Nothing, little one. Nothing at all. Come, we'll get closer."
Jorick guided her through the tangle of tall grass to the sand. Her feet sunk in with every step and she groaned when she thought about the brand new shoes. Of all colors, why had he picked white? But then, he'd admitted before he had a fetish for white, hadn't he?
As they drew closer, she could see the subtle light on the waves and, when they stopped just out of reach of the tide, she stood mesmerized. There was something about it; something so vast that she couldn't explain it. In the dark it was as though it just faded away into the sky; like liquid night slapping at the sandy beach.
She laid her head on Jorick's shoulder and sighed. While magnificent, the view made her feel small and lonely. She was just a very tiny part of a big world, and that big world was one that rarely made any sense.
And it makes even less sense lately.
