Chapter 693: A Different Time Part 7
Etsuko's voice held all her unasked questions; questions he needed to address. He cleared his throat noisily, and, with nothing else to do, decided to try Jorick's approach.
Just say it.
"I've been thinking. It's-it's been two years since you came to be-since-I-I believe it's time to release you from your blood debt."
There, that was the softening up gift. Only instead of looking "softened", she looked confused.
"Oren-sama wishes to release me? I do not understand. Do you mean for me to leave?"
"No!" He got control of his panic. "No, no of course not. Don't the Japanese-Do you not have-never mind. It's-When a vampire makes a fledgling, they owe a blood debt to repay the gift of the immortality. During that time they have to do as their master commands, go where they command-I thought you understood that?"
"Oh. Of course." Though her tone was pleasant, her gaze was unsettled. "But Oren-sama releases me from this debt? What does that mean?"
This wasn't what he imagined, even in his darkest nightmares. There at least, she understood, even if she used it to leave, she knew what it meant. "Well it-I suppose it doesn't mean anything, really, except that you're free now to do what you want, and live where you want."
"I see. And if I already live where I want? Must I leave?"
"No! No, of course not. You-It's only a formality. It-It isn't as if I've used it to invoke any rights. It's been symbolic, I suppose. The blood debt, I mean. It's not as if I've given you orders based on it. Still, I-I meant to make a gift of it, of ending it. They can go on for centuries, so to end it so soon-"
"Oh! I understand now! The blood debt is a symbolic arrangement, yes? An arrangement of respect. And when one is released it means they're stature is equal to their master's? Is this it?"
"Something like that."
She smiled. "And it is unusual for such a short duration, yes? This is the gift? That you have acknowledged me symbolically as your equal, after so short a time?" She flushed. "Oren-sama - I mean Oren - is too generous. However it would be rude to refuse such a gift, so I will accept this kindness. Is there something I must say or do to make it official?"
"No," he said weakly. "No, it's-that's all there is."
"Is this what you wished to speak with me about?"
Her tense shoulders had relaxed, and the light had come back to her eyes, but both reversed when he said, "No."
"I see." She waited, dark eyes probing him. "What else does Oren wish to discuss?"
He swallowed. Once. Twice. He patted his pocket, checking that the ring was still there. He looked down at the ground, muddy and sprinkled with slowly melting flakes. He couldn't kneel there, or it would ruin his trousers. She'd never be able to get the mud out, and she wouldn't let him throw them out. No, she'd scrub and scrub for days.
"And no woman wants to do that, just so you can kneel," Jesslynn snapped. "You've already made a mess of this. Leave it for now and try again later, before you completely disappoint her."
"Oren?"
He shook free of his thoughts. Despite imaginary Jesslynn's advice, he knew that this was it. It needed to be now.
"Yes. Right. Yes. I-As I said, it has been two years and-And there was a poem but it-It wasn't quite right. It didn't say the right things. It-" It was going all wrong. He paused, and tried again. "When-when Jesslynn was murdered I-I wanted to die as well. I couldn't bring myself to take my own life but I still wished to lose it. I joined battles, fought a war of vengeance-Yes, I wanted revenge, but not just that. I had hoped, secretly, that I wouldn't survive. That I could leave this world behind, leave behind the black emptiness. But I lived. Despite all my efforts, still I lived. And then-And then you dropped into my life and-I tried to run away at first. Not because you deserved to be shunned, but because you deserved more than I could give. You deserved light, not darkness, and darkness was all I had to give. But somewhere-I don't know when, or where, but the shadows, they started to fade and I-It was because of you. The others - Jorick, my sister, everyone - they demanded I abandon my grief, that I snap my fingers and make it disappear, but you-You never demanded such a thing, only waited patiently, silently, never asking, never-But always there and I-" Emotions bubbled up, too strong to overcome. He closed his eyes, to try to swallow them down, try to master them.
He felt Etsuko's touch on his arm, and opened his eyes as she tugged his hand free from his pocket. "If you mean this is to tell me thank you, it is not necessary."
"No," he said softly. "I mean yes, I wish to thank you, but more than that." He pulled his hand free to cup her cheek. "I love you, Etsuko. I-I meant for this to be better, to be special-perfect. But-" His frustration came out as a huff as he pulled the box out of his pocket. "Etsuko, will you do me the honor of being my wife?"
She stared, frozen, wide liquid eyes locked on the box in his hand. They bounced to his face, then back again. His heart stopped. The moment hung, tight, agonizing. "She's going to say no," Jesslynn whispered in his thoughts. "Do you blame her? With this shamble of a proposal?"
"Yes."
It took him a moment to realize Etsuko had spoken aloud. Had she said-Did she-?
"Yes," she repeated. "I would be honored."
Oren's hands shook as he fumbled with the box and fought the ring free. "It isn't-It's not what I had in mind. I thought-A pink stone seemed more fitting but they-the salesman insisted a diamond. I don't-I'm behind the times and I wanted it to be-To be right-To-To be perfect."
As he babbled, he slid the ring on her finger. When it was seated, she tugged her hand away to admire it, turning it this way and that, her cheeks flushed with pleasure. "Any ring you chose would be perfect. You know so well what I like."
She turned her smile on him, threw her arms around his neck, and pressed an excited kiss to his lips. His breath caught, then he swept her to him and kissed her back, trying to pour all the things he couldn't say into it, as if he could make her understand this way.
When she finally broke away, it was to cuddle against him, her head on his chest. "When will the ceremony be?"
All his demands and plans disappeared, and he heard himself say, "Whenever you want."
"I think-I think spring. When the flowers bloom."
The invisible Jesslynn started to criticize, but Oren pushed her away. Etsuko was not Jesslynn - not like her in any way. Hanging on to Jesslynn's ghost, using her imaginary voice to give himself advice, was useless. No advice she could give him, living or dead, would be any help. As Jorick had said, they were two very different women, with different tastes, different ideas, and very different desires.
It was time to move on and let her go. That was then, and this was now, and from now on, it really was a different time.
