Chapter 658
The ride back to the city was tense. The children cried and babbled until Jorick put them under. Though neither he nor Verchiel said a word, Katelina felt the animosity between them. It was only Brandle that spoke, trying to soothe Zander's heavy mood.
"It doesn't matter who the progenitor was, whether Lilith or another. The Goddess you believe in, whose teachings you follow-She has nothing to do with Lilith. From what I can see, the teachings are the same as many religions. Though I don't pretend to know who or what anyone is actually worshipping, there must be something, an energy of some kind. The name you use for it makes no difference."
Though Katelina saw the logic, she was almost grateful when Torina announced they needed to buy "things" for the children.
Micah parked at a chain store and motioned toward the door. "You have fun with that."
Jorick sighed. "I'll go with you. You'll need a whisperer to keep people from noticing your-condition."
Torina shoved the children on her brother. "We'll need Katelina. She'll know what the modern baby things are."
"Me? I don't know much about kids."
The redhead fixed her with a pointed look. "You know more than Jorick."
She surrendered and they trooped inside. She ducked first into the empty bathroom to wash the dried mess from her hand. Blood flecked her face and clothes. She scrubbed the best she could. When she was clean-ish, she headed out to join the other two.
Torina cruised through the infant section, frowning over various items. Katelina guessed the tots' age at roughly a year. They used that to choose diapers and clothes. Torina wanted milk, but Katelina steered her to formula instead.
"I think they're old enough to eat baby food," Katelina said.
The vampiress loaded up on the tiny glass jars, added blankets, and half a dozen other necessities. As they steered out of the area, Torina stopped to grab a pair of stuffed animals; a bear and a bunny, both made of blue terry cloth. "Children need something to snuggle."
The automated checkout was a match for Jorick, so Katelina ran things through. Jorick produced his Guild credit card, they paid, then headed out the door, leaving behind human employees who hadn't noticed they were there.
***
At the hotel, Katelina was happy to seal herself in her room and hide in a long hot shower. Blood swirled pink down the drain. She leaned back under the water. With her eyes closed, she could see the vampire with the slicked back hair, hear the crunch as she punched through his chest, feel his warm beating heart in her hand.
"Enough!"
She spoke the word out loud, as if the sound could interrupt her pity party. That's what it was. She watched Jorick killasked him to in some instancesand never balked. But, to do it herself, left her wallowing, as though it meant she'd sunk to their level. Only she was on his level. She was one of them, an equal. If she wanted Jorick to treat her like one, she needed to act like itand think like it.
She climbed out, and wrapped herself in a towel. Before she could get dressed, the door opened. Jorick leaned in. "If you're finished, it's my turn."
She headed out as he peeled off his shirt, leaving her with a quick flash of his naked back. In the bedroom, she started for the suitcase, then met her eyes in the mirror. Crystal blue, shot through with shades they'd never had before. The eyes of a vampire.
That was what she was now. No more hiding behind half-finished sentences or mumbled inaccuracies. No more pretending to be human. She didn't need to, now that her mother was one of them. There was no excuse to hide anymore, not that she'd been hiding for her mom. She'd been hiding for herself, pretending for herself. It was time she got over it.
"I am a vampire."
The declaration felt strange, but freeing, as though a mantle of shadow was lifted from her shoulders. She was a vampire. She drank blood, she burned in the sunlight, and she would live forever, with Jorick.
Jorick.
She pictured him standing naked under the stream of hot water, his pale body sculpted perfection of hard muscle and porcelain skin, his dark hair hanging between his shoulder blades, his face tipped up, eyes closed, long lashes on his cheeks.
Her stomach tightened, and she turned back for the bathroom. She eased the door open to slide noiselessly inside. The shower curtain ruffled slightly. She shifted to see his silhouette through it, arms raised, washing his hair.
She unconsciously licked her lips as she jerked the curtain aside. He jumped, then laughed. "You surprised me, little one."
"You obviously weren't paying attention," she teased. "Imagine the great Jorick getting surprised in the shower."
"Oh, I can imagine it." His eyes lit with a mixture of mischief and lust. "Did you need something?"
She dropped the towel to the floor and climbed inside, tugging the curtain closed behind her.
He blinked at her. "This is unexpected."
"Unexpected or unwelcome?"
He pulled her naked body against his. "Never unwelcome." He claimed her lips with a soft low growl and tightened his arms around her. She felt the hard length of him against her leg, growing thicker with each second. Warm heat pooled in her chest, to run down and settle between her thighs. She moaned and ground against him. He broke the kiss and trailed his lips over her cheek and her chin. He met her eyes. She caught her breath to see desire in their dark depths.
He brushed a strand of wet hair from her forehead, then plunged back, hungry mouth on hers. She returned the kiss with as much as she could muster, all her desire, her longing, her need. She wanted him to know how much she wanted him; needed him. How much she loved him.
She pulled back to slip her arms around his waist. He crushed her to him, flattening her breasts against his chest. "You can't escape that easily," he murmured as he kissed his way back to her mouth.
"I'm not trying to escape, just making sure you're good and trapped."
He chuckled softly. "Trust me, little one, I couldn't escape, even if I wanted to. Not that I want to."
"I hope not." Despite her best efforts, her voice cracked. She saw a flash of concern on his face. "No. It's fine. I'm not-I-" When she couldn't find the words, she pressed him back against the tiled wall.
He didn't bother to hide the smile. "I like this explanation so far."
She shushed him. As if to make sure he stayed silent, she took his lips roughly, delving her tongue into his mouth. He moaned into the kiss. She pressed deeper, teasing, savoring. His mouth tasted like copper, like blood, like sex, like life. The flavor enticed her further, made her want him more.
She broke off and licked her way over his chest, pausing to wipe the water from her eyes. Vision clear, she met his burning gaze.
Without asking, she bit into his chest. His body tightened, then relaxed as his hot blood flooded her mouth. She swallowed, and disappeared into the taste, into the crimson colored world of desire and pleasure. He was all there was, the feel of him, the taste of him, his body, his lips, his hands, his blood. He was everything and nothing else mattered, nothing but this.
She lost track of the real world, of the shower, of the press of their bodies, of the cool slick tile and soft perfume of soap. There was only the new reality, the realm of pleasure, the world of their making. She didn't notice any pain when he pulled her arm to his mouth and bit back, only that the scarlet world expanded to a universe with a thousand points of light. Each ray was a caress; each beam a kiss. She was wrapped in the light of a thousand erotic suns, painting her skin with shadows that only made the ache inside her more intense.
The points of light swelled, grew larger, engorged like she was, until they exploded. She cried out. As the connection was severed she dropped back into reality. She clutched Jorick, panting, her body shaking. The hot shower poured over her. Water was in her eyes. Her knees were weak.
Jorick caught her before she fell. She buried her face in his heaving chest, trying to control her breathing. She knew she didn't need it; didn't need the oxygen, but the habit was still there.
She ran over what had just happened. She'd done it. When she bit him it hadn't been his memories, but something more, something better. For a few moments she'd controlled their connection.
Hadn't she?
"Yes," Jorick said softly, his hand tangled in her hair. "Yes, you did."
When she could stand on her own, she tilted her face up to meet his eyes. As warm as the water running over her, the dark depths offered safety, acceptance, and love, something that had remained the same whether she was human or a vampire.
"I love you," he said softly. "Not what you are."
"And I love you."
He cocked his head to one side. "Enough to marry me?"
"Yes." The word was out before she had time to think about it. In the seconds that followed she realized what she'd said. He'd asked her to marry himmarry himand she'd agreed. She'd agreed to marriage.
She steeled herself for the familiar panic, the weight of the commitment, the severing of all of life's millions of possibilities. It didn't come. There was no terror, only warmth.
When she didn't speak, Jorick cleared his throat. "You're sure?"
"Yes." The surprise in his eyes was echoed in her voice. "Yes. I'm sure. It's funny, isn't it? I've spent my whole life terrified of the idea, of being chained, and now-I don't know. I feel freer than I've ever felt before." Like she'd felt when she finally said the words aloud to the mirror. "I guess that's crazy."
"Not at all. You didn't want to commit because you were afraid you'd have to give something up, miss out on some amazing possibility, but it was really your terror of commitment that stole your possibilities. Your fears became the very chains you dreaded."
Though it made sense, she didn't want to be analyzed. She wanted to close her eyes, lean against his chest, and listen to his heart beat, knowing she would listen to it every night for eternity.
Assuming Lilith doesn't kill us.
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