Twenty-three: Emaline's past
Younger Emaline
April 22nd
"TJ!" I happily call out to my new boyfriend. My heart flutters as he greets me with a smile, "Hey babe." He leans down, kissing my head softly. My heart can't help but flutter.
He grabs my arm, leading me inside the restaurant.
I sit down at the dinner table, gazing at the scenery around us.
"We've been together for a month. I can hardly believe it." I grab my menu, skimming the food items. I thin my lips, glancing at him as he continues his silence.
My mind wonders if he heard me or not. "TJ?" I say lightly, trying to get his attention. He is often cold to me. I know he doesn't mean it, It's just his personality. I know he loves me, he tells me every day.
"I want you to move in with me." His brown eyes pour into mine with intensity.
My breath catches in my throat as I stare at him with shock.
"My parents?" I bring up my family, they would surely miss me. I'm only fourteen, they mostly give me everything I want. But I don't think they will be too fond of the idea of me moving in with my boyfriend.
"I'll take care of it." He continues to stare, causing my chest to tighten.
He's the love of my life, I should be euphoric.
"I will."
********************************
July 1st.
"Who was that girl, Tj?!" I yell at the piece of shit who had told me he loved me.
The scene of a tan woman leaving our house plays in my head. Hickeys were planted all over her neck.
I had caught her leaving a few minutes ago as I was getting home from spending time with my friends.
"Relax, babe. She's my cousin." He stands, looking at me with empty eyes.
"A cousin that I've never met? That you have never talked about? A cousin that has hickeys all over her neck?" I hold back tears as I point out the obvious signs that she isn't his cousin.
"Why the hell don't you believe me? Trust is love and if you don't trust me then you obviously don't love me."
I furrow my eyebrows, wiping away the tears that trail down my neck.
He thinks I'm stupid, he thinks I will always believe him.
"You cheated on me."
With my simple words, he shoves me. I tumble backward, hitting the wooden floor with my tailbone.
I whimper with pain before snapping my head up, shooting him a glare.
"It doesn't matter what I fucking do!" He screams at me, his terrifying anger written all over his hardened face.
His fists fly at me, which would unknowingly be the start of the first of many beatings.
*****************************
September 5th.
"Damn, what happened to your eye, girly?" My friend, Rose, asks me.
"I fell," I whisper, knowing that I've told the same lie four times in a row.
I hadn't fallen. It was Tj. It's always Tj. His anger issues are only getting worse. I recommend anger management but he claims I'm the only cause for his anger.
He only hits me whenever I push him to that point. He turns to violence when I become a nuisance for him.
I try to not complain about his actions. It will only make him sad. He tells me he loves me, he tells me that no one will love me as much as he does. I believe him. No one could love me as he does.
After he hits me he has a habit of apologizing at my feet. Sobbing desperately to get me to forgive him.
"I see you with new bruises every day Emaline." Rose pushes on, breaking me away from my thoughts.
I'm tired of her always asking me the same question. Everything is ok with me. I have a good relationship.
"I'm fine. Drop the topic." I want to slam my head on the table in frustration.
"I'm home!" I yell. TJ steps out of the kitchen and kisses my head to greet me before walking out of my sight again.
I walk to the bathroom after hearing him turn on the tv.
I pull out a pregnancy test from my pocket that I had stolen from the convenience store on the way home.
I sit down on the toilet and do my business.
A few minutes later, I pace around the bathroom in tears. My breathing is shaky as my hands find their way to my neck.
I wrap my hands around my neck, proceeding to contemplate choking myself. Fourteen and pregnant. No way can I have this baby. I have my future to think of. I have to finish high school, go to college, and become a teacher.
What will my parents say? How will I tell them? I haven't spoken to them since I moved in with TJ. They live hours away from me because of him.
"Emaline, you good?" Tj yells through the door.
Right, I have to tell TJ. He will help me through this. I can still live out my dreams if he is by my side.
I open the door, looking up at him. "I'm pregnant," My words come out in a low whisper.
I watch in horror as the monster inside of him comes out.
"You fucking liar." He hits me.
"Stupid whore!" He screams, kicking me as I fall to the ground.
I sob in pain. He uses all of his force to kick me. Over and over again.
*******************************
January 11th. Fifteen years of age.
I put my hand on my flat stomach. It's been four months since I lost my baby.
But maybe it was a good thing that I did. I didn't want to bring this little angel into a world of hate. I don't want to bring a baby into this world in my teenage years at all.
By this point in my life, I have no friends to lean on. Rose and the rest of our friend group stopped being friends with me after Tj yelled at them. Why did he yell at them? Because they came over for my birthday and made notice of the bruises I have in front of him.
He doesn't let me have friends. I don't have a phone anymore, he threw it out of a window as we were speeding down the highway. He forced me to drop out of school, stomping on my dream of a successful future.
The only thing I have left is Tj. I sit in the house day and night with him. I tend to his every beck and call.
Our sex life isn't up to me anymore. He doesn't care about what I want. We go by when he wants it and where. I have no say.
Tj continues to beat me and then hopelessly apologizes. I usually sit in silence, watching him as he latches onto my legs, begging me to forgive him. I think he knows that his actions are getting old. He won't get the help I tell him to get.
I feel like a bird in a cage. My wings are clipped and all I can do is sit and look pretty.
Breaking me out of my daze is his phone being chucked towards my head. I shriek as it hits my eye, breaking my eye socket, nose, and cheekbone.
I slam my hands on my eye as blood gushes out, soaking my clothes.
"Why would you do that?!" I scream at him, continuing to shriek at the top of my lungs.
I rush past him before he can come to me and access the damage he has caused.
I slam the door behind me. I pump my legs even though my face is on fire.
My bare legs continue to lead me through the snow. My t-shirt provides no warmth since it's covered in my thick blood.
I sprint until my legs give out, forcing me to crumble to the ground, far from where my home is.
"Do you need help?" I look up with my one good eye, seeing a male around my age looking down at me.
"Please..." I cry, desperate for any help I can get.
He gathers me in his arms like I'm a baby. He shouts an unfamiliar name.
Alec.
"What is it?" Another guy pokes his head out of a car.
Once he sees me in this stranger's arms, his eyes widen. There is no need to question.
Maybe I am stupid. I don't know this guy. I don't know where he will take me and if it is better or worse than my life with Tj.
I do know that what I have waiting for me at home ISNT love.
****************************
I wake up under the sheets of an unfamiliar room. I sit up to see my savior watching me awaken from my slumber. My wounded eye is patched up. I can tell I am heavily medicated because I can't feel the pain.
"What's your name?" He asks once I've been made aware of my situation.
"Emaline..."
"Zander."
Zander.
I smile.
********************************
Emaline's 16th birthday, a year and a half ago
"Zander, please help me. He's going crazy!" I cry into the phone as I hide in the locked bathroom. Tj banging on the door, trying to get in.
I've been in the gang for half a year now. I've been on several missions where I've had to do horrendous acts.
It disgusts me how my future turned out. I'm supposed to be graduating early to go off to college. Instead of school, I'm in a gang. This is all because of Tj. He's ruined my future. He ruined my eye. My eye healed but my vision is blurry. I can only see shapes and colors out of that eye. No doctors can fix it. Tj permanently ruined my eye.
I grab onto Zanders's shoulders as he grabs me through the window, taking me out of the house I've been trapped in.
I know I can't stay here any longer. The last few seconds I spend in this bathroom are the last time I will ever be in this forsaken house.
Tj beats on the door behind me, screaming my name with threats. H
"IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU, NO ONE CAN!"
I grip onto Zander's hand as we run, trying to escape the gun bullets he fires into the air at us.
Freedom is a breath of fresh air.