Fifty-two: Questions answered

Temperance

I stare at the ceiling that is not my own, my head replaying my actions last night. I still feel Alec on me from last night, my mind running in circles from the things we had done only a few hours ago.

I don't think death is what I want anymore. Of course, that's what I wanted a few days ago... but maybe I just wanted to kill the situation around me.

Yesterday I thought I hated Alec, now I think I love him again. Is that the effect of sex? Is your brain forcing you to think you love the man that entered your body? 

No, I don't think that's it, I've always loved him, the anger inside of me just blinded me. My emotions have spun me into a sticky web I have no idea to get out of.

I shut my eyes and put my hand on my growling stomach. 

I guess sex be a beautiful thing as long as both sides want it. 

I turn my head, glancing at the empty spot that was left by Alec. I don't hate him, I just hate what he did to me. But do I have a right to feel that way?

Shaking my thoughts away I slowly sit up, holding my empty stomach.

We were up until two last night doing certain things, I'm surprised he woke up so early.




As I walk down the stairs, I see Alec with Zander. Zander looks up at me with a bright smile. "Hey, Temp." He comes up to hug me.

I hug him back with the feeling that Alec is staring. I take in Zander's scent, hoping he doesn't smell Alec on me or the sweat from last night. Whenever Zander and I separate, he goes back over to Alec, who is indeed staring at me.

"Hi..." I awkwardly blurt. He looks confused as if I'm not supposed to feel awkward after the things we had done last night. "I'll leave," Zander suggests before standing back to his feet, my face heating up with the thought that he knows. 

When he leaves my eyes to go toward Alec again, hearing the door close behind me.

Great. Now I'm left with Alec. I guess it's time to talk. "Can I sit?" I ask, pointing to the couch beside him. He nods, and I step past him and sit down.

"So..." He sits down on the other couch. It is awkward. I can feel my face getting red. "I don't know what last night was... I enjoyed it but I feel like we haven't discussed things you're still holding onto." He shifts in his seat, his eyes watching me.

I stay quiet and bite my lip awkwardly.

"Listen. I'll tell you anything you want to know. I won't hold anything back. Whatever you want to know, I'll tell you about." He offers, his sentence repeating a bit.

I shift in my seat as my stomach lets out a loud growl. I want to hear what he has to say.

"Why HER?" I start gritting my teeth. The thought of them together makes my blood boil. It makes my heart tighten up.

"She was the easiest to get to." He sighs, and his facial expression shows his embarrassment as clear as day. "You're fucking stupid," I growled. As soon as I see the hurt in his eyes, guilt started to rush over me.

"I know I am. But I'm sorry. It was a huge mistake. A HUGE mistake. I regret it." He stands up and walks over to me.

"Temperance she meant nothing to me. You're amazing and perfect, and your eyes always sparkle when you're happy, your lips are soft, your skin is vibrant, your hair is the perfect shade of brown, and you are beautiful in every way. Whenever I look at you, I see my future. I want a future with you. I want you in my life forever, and I don't want my stupid mistake to change how you feel about me. Even though it already did. I will do anything to earn your forgiveness. Anything."

I desperately crave to run to him and jump up, wrapping my arms around his neck. No one has ever spoken about me like that. The way he described me makes my eyes tear and makes my heart flutter.

"Where is Lidia?" I ask him. He rubs his arms, not making eye contact with me.

"Where. Is. Lidia?" I repeat myself.

"She's gone." He replies awkwardly. I roll my eyes. I'm not stupid. I know he's lying.

"Haha, so funny." I glare at him, showing him that it wasn't funny. His joke is stupid and wrong.

"She's actually gone. Not dead. I want her to be dead, but she isn't. We won't be seeing her again, though." He looks at me with honest eyes, and then I knew. I knew he wasn't joking. I looked down and fumbled with my thumbs.

"Why did you make her leave?" I ask him. He takes a minute to collect himself as I calmly wait for his answer.

Why would he kick out the girl he had sex with multiple times?

"She is too much of a risk. And she kept coming after you. I was tired of it. It's what I had to do." He speaks up finally.

I let out a sigh and stand up. He observes me as I do this action. "What are you doing?" He asks me.

I look up at him. "Getting something to eat." As if on cue, my stomach grumbles. I put my hand over it, silently scolding it.

"Am I forgiven..?" He asks me with hope in his eyes.

"You are forgiven." I respond, vaguely remembering that I had told him he was forgiven last night as well.

With that, he smiles and picks me up. I hold onto him as he playfully kisses me on the cheek a few times. He gently sets me back on the ground, my feet hitting the ground firmly before he loosens his grip on me, not yet letting go.

"I'm not going to mess up again." He states. Then he leans down, and his soft lips touch mine. Our lips fit perfectly together.

My hands wind up in his hair as his tongue explores my mouth. Then a loud grunt interrupts us.

We both pull back quickly. A tall man is standing in the doorway glaring daggers at me.

I'm almost confused about why Alec let's go of me and steps in front of me as to guard me against the man.

"She's awake, and now you're kissing her." The man scoffs. I can already tell that he and I are off to a bad start.

"Temperance. This is my dad." Alec tells me.

My eyes go wide. He never talks about his dad. I didn't even think he had one. But I do see the resemblance. Kind've. When did his dad get back?

"Adam." Alec's dad states his name firmly, obviously trying to intimidate me, which is working. "Why don't you run along now." He tells me. I frown. I'm not a kid.

Alec can tell I am about to say something, so he grabs my hand and laces his fingers with mine. "I was just about to eat with her." He lies. Well, halfway lies. I am about to eat. Not him.

"I would like to see you after this little eating party you are having." Adam looks at Alec, his words shooting out like knives meant to stab his son.

Alec nods as he leads me into the kitchen, leaving the tension in the living room with his father.

I'm sure this is only the start of the chaos this encounter will bring.