Twenty-six: bloodied hands

Temperance

After we leave her grave we end up at the warehouse per my request.

I walk past everyone who had just come from the funeral. Instead of mourning at home, they hide the pain by continuing their work.

I stand in front of Rea and Justin who guard the heavy metal door. I know Tj is behind this door, and you bet your ass I'll get in.

"Let me in," I grit my teeth.

They glance at each other, then back at me.

"We can't let you do that." Rea looks at me sadly. They know who I'm going for. They know my reason. And they continue to stand in my way.

I turn around and eye Alec and Zander. They speak up.

"You can let her in. There's no stopping her today.." Alec replies, watching my every move.

They open the door, revealing a set of stairs leading down into a dimly lit hall. I go down the stairs.

"I'll take watch. Rea, you can go down there instead." Zanders's voice almost cracks in that sentence.

He's too heartbroken to look at the man who murdered the woman he loved in cold blood. That is why I will get it done. Not only for myself, not only for Zander. I'm doing this for Emaline and everyone who cared about her.

I walk along the dimly lit halls behind Alec. I follow blindly, hoping he will lead me to Tj instead of changing his mind.

When someone you love passes, sadness isn't the end of the story. Most likely, you want sweet revenge. That revenge is what I'm going to get today.

Alec unlocks a trick metal door, taking a swift to inhale before opening it. I look in and spot the man that killed my best friend.

"Yell if you need us," Alec tells me. I nod and step into the small room.

There is only a toilet, sink, and bed in here. I wonder if killing her was worth it.

I look into his eyes. His eyes are red. He's been crying. I don't care.

"Stand up." My voice is shaking with anger.

He stands up, avoiding my harsh glare.

I immediately kick him in the groin, making him fall to the ground. While he is on the ground, I take this as my opportunity.

Both of my fists fly at his face at a rapid pace, careful not to leave out any place.

My hands are going raw, but I don't care. I want to see him bleeding.

********************************

I only stop when Alec sneaks into the room, pulling me away from Tj. I get a good look at what I had done.

Both of his eyes are swollen and already black. His whole face is swollen, black, and blue. I know I knocked out a few teeth. I saw them fly out when I was hitting him.

He is unconscious.

If we decide to throw him into the streets, then he would be unrecognized by anyone.

My hands are raw and bleeding. They hurt. I can't imagine how Tj feels.

Then it hit me.

I can imagine.

I can imagine how he feels. I've done what my father has done to me.

I look down at my bloody hands in disgust.

I'm just like him.

I squirm out of Alec's hold and run past him and Rea out the door. I sprint down the hall. I know they are following me.

I leap up the skinny stairs and bust through the door. I go through the warehouse, trying to get past all the people so I can get to the exit.

Bee looks at me oddly, seeing the tears run down my face as I plead with her to open the door.

When she does, I continue my sprinting. I don't know where I am running to, but my legs will surely take me there.



By the time I am finished running, I don't recognize where I have ended up. I fall to my knees, exhausted, and put my hands on the ground.

I take my heels off. Surprised I could even run in them. I hold them in my hand by the heel part.

I try to catch my breath as the tears start falling again. They come and refuse to stop.

Beating him made me feel good, don't get me wrong. But it also made me remember the abuse I faced every day.

Maybe that's why my father beats me. He believes I'm the reason for my mother's death. He wants his revenge so he gets it by hurting me.

I know Tj is Emaline's murderer, so I beat him for revenge.

My stomach churns at the thought of ending up like my father.

It is dark outside. The grass under me is cold and wet. I look up. There are trees all around me, but I can see a few faint stars in the sky through all the leaves.

I wipe my tears and stand up. My legs burn.

I start walking farther into the trees.

A treehouse.

The treehouse.

I start climbing a tree, trying to get up to what looks like a treehouse.

I open a trap door at the bottom and climb inside. I cough from all the dust. I stand up.

I frantically hit the air around me as I feel spiderwebs in my hair. I calm down once they are all out.

Bugs aren't my friend.

I've been here before.

My hands gently touch all over the wall looking for a light. Anything.

"You're in a treehouse, dumbass." I sigh, wiping my hands on the dress I still have on.

I take my phone out of my inner jacket pocket and turn it on. Alec only bought me this phone hours before Emaline's funeral. At the time, I thought it would be good to contact Nicole and Ryan, but the timing isn't right.

15%

To ignore all the messages I have been getting from Alec and our friends, I put my phone on airplane mode.

I turn my phone light on and look around the treehouse.

This is MY treehouse.

I carefully walk over to a few drawings on a wall.

The wood is rough on my feet, making me question if I should put the heels back on. But the heels have rubbed my poor feet raw.

I shine the light from my phone on a drawing.

There are three colorful stick figures drawn on what seems like a flower patch of some sort in front of a house.

On all of the stick figures, heads are written telling me who they are.

The word "me" is written on top of the head of the shortest one with pigtails. The figure has a huge smile on its face. And the "me" is written in black crayon.

There is one with "daddy" at the top. He resembles my dad. It was my father when he looked better—more father-like. Even had a smile.

Then there is "mommy" on another one. Written in black crayon. For a stick figure, it looks similar to my mom.

I touch the stick figure that is supposed to be my mom. A tear escapes and runs down my cheek.

"I love you so much, mom..." I say in a shaky whisper.

I would do so much to have her back.

To have her still be alive. I would be happy. My father wouldn't hit me. There would be no runs to the hospital or anything like that.

I sniffle and turn away from the picture.

I walk over to a pile of beanbags.

There is one thing I know. I don't want to go back to Alecs right now. There will be too many questions.

I plop down on the beanbags and sigh in defeat as dust flies all around me. I cough and cover my mouth, swinging my free hand through the hair to rid the particles.

"When did life go to shit?"

That's something I ask myself a lot—all the time. Life IS shit. I don't think anyone could change that.

Maybe Alec...

I shake my head to get rid of that stupid thought.

My dress is all dirty and tattered. Sad. I've only worn it once. I ruin everything, don't I?

I lean back. Lack of sleep is probably getting to me.

Something catches my eye. I stand back up, looking at the ceiling. There is a polaroid picture taped to the ceiling of the treehouse.

I carefully peel it off and sit back onto the beanbag chairs, taking out my phone. I turn on the light from my phone and look at the picture.

Tears weld up in my eyes as I realize what it is.

It is a picture of my mother and father on the couch.

They both had huge smiles on their face. My mother looked beautiful. My father looked like a respectable man.

He had his arm wrapped around her. I was the one taking the picture. I turn it over and read the writing I scribbled on the back a few years ago.

"I love you yesterday, today, tomorrow, and forever."

That was our thing. Every night before bed, we would say that: my mom and me. I place the picture in my jacket pocket and lay back, closing my eyes.

"I love you yesterday, today, tomorrow, and forever," I said quietly. "I hope you can hear me from heaven, mom."

With that, I let every problem I have, dissolve and I relax deeper into the beanbags under me.