Forty-three: two hearts break

Temperance

I lay under the mounts of covers on top of me. All I remember is closing my eyes after I fell into the river. But here I am... in a bed.

I shoot up as Kenli steps out of the bathroom. "Oh! You're awake! I'm so glad!" She walks over to me and sits on the edge of my bed.

"Who brought me here?" I ask her. I look down and notice I am in different clothes. My heart speeds up. Someone saw my cuts.

"Alec and his guys did. And so did Chris and I. Alec carried you here..." She explains, her eyes not leaving me once.

Oh shit. This isn't good. Austin is gonna find out. Fuck. Maybe if he just beats me to death he will be satisfied? I only hope that it will be quick.

"Who changed me??" I ask frantically. "I did." Sadness laces her eyes. She saw. "Who did you tell?" I ask, grabbing her arm roughly. She winces, "No one!"

I stare at her, thinning out my lips as she looks at her feet. I let go of her arm, apologizing to her. I watch her open her mouth to speak, but I hold my hand up to silence her. "Don't lecture me on this. Where's Alec? What is his room number?"

She looks down and fiddles with her thumbs. I just need his room number. Then I can call him.

I wait for her answer. Then she speaks up, telling me the room number. I reach over to the phone on the bedside table.

I dial his room number and put the phone up to my ear. "Hello?" I hear Zanders's voice on the other line only after a few rings. "H-hi, it's Temperance. Get Alec on the phone." My heart beats rapidly in my chest, causing me to feel uneasy.

Then I hear shuffling in the background. "Hey, Flower." His sweet voice is now on the other side of the phone.

I let a few tears escape my eyes and run down my cheeks.

I can't believe what I'm about to do.

"Meet me outside on the bench in the front. Right now." I tell him, then hang up without another word. I stand up, throwing the covers off of me.

I walk over to my bag and grab a blanket, wrapping it around myself, and then I put on fuzzy socks with slippers. 

"Where are you going?" Kenli asks, rushing after me to stop me. I ignore her and take my room key from the nightstand. Two hearts are going to break tonight.

I leave the room and jog into the elevator. I walk across the lobby and outside. As soon as I get there, I see Alec standing there in a black jacket.

He turns to me and smiles at me. God, I missed him so fucking much. Come on. You have to do this.

"Thank you for saving me." I look at my feet, trying to hold back my tears. "I will always save you. No matter what." He replies, placing his hand on my chin and lifting my face up to look at him.

He is perfect.

I wrap my arms around his neck and jump up, hugging him. I hug him tightly with the realization that this will be the last time I will ever touch him.

I pull myself back, and my gaze lingers on his lips. Then we go in.

The kiss is passionate. It is sweet and gentle, but that soon turns into fire and neediness. I need him. But I can't drag him down with me. I kiss him with so much eagerness. So much want. Hoping to pour all of my feelings out. So he will understand.

Then I pull back, and he lets me down. His smile is so big. "That was amazing." He licks his lips. I look down without a word, separating myself from him. I try to hold back my tears, but they pour out.

"What's wrong?!" He asks me. He tries to pull me into a hug again, and I push him back forcefully. He looks at me with hurt written all over his face.

"I-I'm Sorry. I can't do this." I am choking on my tears. His mouth drops open. "What do you mean?" He tries to put his arm around me again, but I yell at him.

"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME! You scare me! I don't like you!" I lie the harshest lies that have ever left my trembling lips. The most painful lies I've ever said. Now I am hobbled over, holding my stomach as the tears fall down my face. 

I try to suck the snot back into my nose as I look back up at him. I straighten myself up, tears blurring my vision.

Tears run down Alec's face as he processes my words. "You know what. All I've tried to do was protect you. All I wanted was your safety but yet you still run away. I don't understand what I'm doing wrong. Am I going too fast for you? Do you just not like me?" He begins.

I stay silent, watching him as my stomach churns.

"But it's whatever the fuck you want. I'm nothing but a bed and breakfast to you. Why would you do this to me? If you want me to leave, then you have your wish. Have fun with the rest of your life because I'm out." His hurtful words stab me, causing me to feel like everything in me as shattered.

Before any more words are exchanged he pushes past me, hitting my shoulder with his. I grip my blanket around me so it doesn't fly off.

As soon as he goes inside I collapse onto my knees. The brokenness of my heart makes my body ache. I lean over, letting tears fall into the snow under me as quiet sobs leave my body. I try to keep the noise under control by pressing my hand over my mouth.




I bring myself to my feet, stumbling before catching myself again. I feel like I've been outside for hours. I know it's only been half an hour or so but the utter pain I feel is unbearable. I stayed on the ground until my tears dried up and my sobs became silent.

I stagger inside, my head pounding from my crying.

I feel my heart drop out of my ass as Ryan and Nicole walk into the lobby area where I am.

"Temperance!" Nicole runs over to me, engulfing me in a hug. Unable to support her weight, I topple over. Nicole follows me to the ground, looking at me with confusion. "You don't look so good." She scans me as Ryan helps me back to my feet. 

"You have a lot of explaining to do." Ryan looks at me with concern.

I can't have any friends.

"Why did you go?" Nicole questions. She is referring to why I disappeared and then moved schools. I guess Ryan didn't catch her up. "I moved in with my aunt and uncle." I am so tired. Not tired as in sleep tired. But tired as in tired of life. Tired of trying.

Ryan put his hand on my knee. "Why are you so broken?"

"What?" I asked him, shaking my head at what he just asked.

"I asked why are you so upset?" He asks. I shake my head again. Maybe I'm just hearing things. I thought I heard broken.

"It's nothing." I sigh as invisible tears stream down my cheek. They try to say something else, but I am too tired of being here. I stand up and walk off, ignoring them, being a terrible friend.

I finally get to my room and take the keycard out, and swipe it. The door opens, and Chris is in the room. I close the door behind me.

I fall to the floor seeing Chris. He knows what is happening. He knows why I can't have friends.

He sees me, and he runs to me. He pulls me into a tight hug as I place my head on his shoulder. I can't cry anymore, I feel like it's impossible for my body to create more tears. Kenli looks at me with horror on her face.

As soon as I can calm down, I tell Chris everything. He swipes the hair out of my face. Kenli looks confused. She doesn't know anything other than what I told Chris. She doesn't know the full story.

"Please stop punishing yourself so much, Temp." Chris picks me up and carries me into my bed. He covers me up, and I grab his arm before leaving. "Water?" Yes. I am taking advantage of the situation.

He nods and goes into the kitchen area. A few minutes later, he comes back with water. I gulp most of it down, then lay my head back down. I am so exhausted. My heart hurts. Everything hurts.

I close my eyes, and everything goes black.

**********************************

Alec

I lay in my bed with tears streaming down my face. She said so many hurtful things to me. But then I said worse things to her.

I didn't tell Zander or Connor anything that happened. I didn't want them to get involved with the heartbreak I was feeling.

"Alec. It's me. I need to explain some things." I hear Chris's voice through the door. I nod at Zander, and he goes to open the door.

Chris comes in and looks at me. Don't ask why Connor's still in here. Still trying to figure that out myself.

"I need to explain some things." He looks at me sadly.

I sit up and sniffle a little. I'm such a pussy. I'm supposed to be strong. Not weak.

Then Chris begins.

"I know you think she is safe with us but she's not. She's not ok. She isn't safe there. She gets beaten like she did when she lived with her dad. She hasn't been talking to you since my dad doesn't want her to have friends. She is avoiding you for her safety and also yours. That's why she did what she did tonight. Whenever I saw her earlier she was so broken, Alec. She couldn't even stand. I had to carry her to her bed."

Zander, Connor, and I sit in place. My lips thin as I feel my eyebrows furrow. Why go through so much pain when she knows I will do anything to protect her? I need to see her. I need to be with her right now. I need her. She needs me.

"I need to see her!" I try to stand up, but Chris shakes his head, stopping me. "She's sleeping."

Then tomorrow. Tomorrow I'm going to see her. And she's not going to push me away.