Forty-three: nothing good lasts

Temperance

I open the door to be filled with shock. 

Alec stands in front of me with Connor and Zander behind him. 

I feel my heart drop as I make eye contact with the man I had just broke. 

"W-what are you d-doing here?" My hands shake with anxiety coursing through my body. 

I watch Alec carefully, flinching as his arms embrace me. I stay still for a second, assessing the situation that I have been thrown into. 

His arms wrap around me tighter, my head starting to feel light. 

Do I tell him that he's making me light headed or do I let him continue?

I thin my lips, agreeing with my heart to let him have this moment. 

"I am so so so sorry for the things I said. I didn't mean them." He whispers into my hair. 

Tears pull in my eyes at his words, my hands gripping his shirt. God, I missed the smell of him. 

My mind spins in circles on what I should do. 

I know I can't see him. I know Austin will never let me be with him. 

Is it fair to hold him back? Is it fair to hold myself back?

FUCK IT. 

"I didn't mean the stuff I said either," I whisper, wishing I could take everything I said that hurt him back. 

It takes a second for him to pull back, scanning my face. "Chris told me everything. Why did you not tell me?" 

I look away from his face, desperately searching for an answer. I know he feels hurt that I didn't tell him, but I couldn't have him worry about me. 

I close my eyes, my heart beating as I tell Alec a certain three words. 

"I love you!" The words spill out of my mouth as if I have to say them as quick as I can. I stare at him as I bite my lip. My cheeks grow hot as the venom of embarrassment lurches into my face. 

From behind Alec I see Zander and Connors mouths drop open. Before I can switch my view to glare at then they shut their mouths. 

My eyes stay on Alec watching his facial expressions. He stares at me, his eyes are filled with thoughts. 

"I... I'm not sure I know what love is but if this isn't it then I don't know what it is." He responds to me, brushing my hair out of my face and behind my ear. 
"So... what is that supposed to mean?" I ask lowly, wanting him to say the words. 

He rubs the back of his neck, glancing back at his friends. The guys get the memo and turn around, spewing jokes with each other. 

"I love you too." His voice is low, his face red. He's probably never said the words before 

Connor and Zander stiffen before Zander holds his hand out. I watch as Connor places money into his hand. I avert my attention back to Alec who is peering into my soul, his face getting closer and closer to mine. 

I hear the alarm bells ringing in my head and step back with his sudden movement towards me. His arms wrap around me, laying on my lower back. Butterflies erupt in my stomach, causing me to want to punch my stomach. He leans in and this time I don't move back. 

His lips touch mine. He smells warm, sweet. His lips taste like peppermints, causing me to wonder if this was planned. 

I bite his lip, and he licks mine asking for entrance. I don't open my mouth, refusing his tongue to intercept my mouth. 

We break apart, trying to catch our breaths before Kenli pops up beside us. 

She glares at us, "Now that was very unnecessary." She speaks, her hands on her hips. 


"Since when did a child become your mother?" Alec jokes, only to get a glare from Kenli and I. 

"My ass hurts so bad please stop having this mushy gushy stuff." Connor stands up, rubbing his ass. 

I didn't even realized they sat down. 

"Oh what were you doing last night?" Zander smirks as he teases Connor. 

"I'm not gay dickwad."

"Sure."

I laugh at the idiots and their eyes land on me. With smiles they wrap me in their arms. I smile as I hug them back, thankful that I can see my guys again. I'm lifted of the ground for a moment, causing me to scold them. "We missed you so much!" Connor whines. He places me back down gently. "I missed you guys too." I smile, looking at Alec who looks extremely jealous that his two friends just hugged me.

I lose my smile as reality hits me once more. I still can't be seen with them. I can't risk it. No matter what anyone says. I have to protect them. We get everything settle but I still can't be seen with them. I have to make sure they are safe.

"Listen, guys. I don't care how much you want to help me. This is MY fight. I'm not dragging you in it. If you try to make yourself a part of it, then I'll cut you off completely no matter how much it hurts," I tell them in all seriousness. 

I watch in guilt as their expression shift to a familiar sadness, striking me with grief. 

"Please don't get into any bad situations. Let Chris take some of the hits for you." Alec suggests, shrugging at the thought of my cousin getting beat in my place. I roll my eyes at him, irritated that he would suggest such a thing. 

"Bye guys." I gently push them all out of my hotel room. Then I look back at Kenli. She shakes her head at me in disapproval. Do I care? No. Will I care when I’m getting my head pounded in? I guess we will see. 

*******************************************

A few hours later I am back in the place I am forced to live in. "I see you've made friends." Austin walks over to me with rage radiating off of his figure. 

I knew this would happen. I'm not too surprised. 

As I watch his body walk towards me I feel something break inside me. I can’t help but smile at him. I can’t handle the massive feeling of loneliness. I need to think about something. I need to feel something. 

"Go ahead, it won’t change anything. I still spoke to them." I look him in the eyes. Two rules are broken. Don't tell Austin or Vicki what to do. And don't look them in the eyes. 

He walks towards me with his hands clenched. His fist connects with my cheek throwing my head to the side. 

I bite my tongue in the process, causing the metallic taste of blood to fill my mouth. I look at him again, challenging him more. Wanting him to beat me. Wanting him to hurt me. Because that's what my life has come to now. 

He punches me again and again and again. Each time I stand my ground, wanting more. I need the pain, I need the distraction. Only physical pain can avert my attention away from the emotions. 

He shoves me to the ground, my head hitting the door. Blood is coming out of my mouth and nose. Then he kicks me I can tell I will have several bruises after this. 

From behind Austin, I see Kenli come out of her room. Her eyes went wide with fear and I shake my head "no" for her to not intervene. 

She turns back, and I feel relief overtake me. I don't need her trying to defend me. This isn't her fight. 

"You're weak." I cough out. Then the punches and kicks keep coming. Over and over again. 

"What are you doing?” I hear Chris's voice yell from across the room. Austin's hands are covered in my blood. 

"Fuck off." He yells at Chris. I know why he did it. To get the attention off of me. But I want it on me. I want the pain. 

Just as Austin turns to go after Chris I weakly kick Austin in the leg. Austin turns back towards me. He doesn't hit me. He just smiles a sickly smile. A smile that almost scares me. He crouches down and leans towards me. 

"Good thing I'll be getting rid of you soon." He whispers in my ear, sending chills down my spine. 

I watch as he backs up, my mind spinning with thoughts on what he could mean by that. Is he planning on killing me? No… that wouldn’t do him any good. He would sell me to whoever wants me. That sounds more like it.

He's going to send me off to a rich man at an auction and I'll be a sex slave in trafficking. 

Austin grabs me by my upper arm and flings me towards Chris. As he turns around Chris sits down as I lay on his lap crying. He gently runs his fingers through my hair as he shushes me. Kenli goes to get the first aid and she starts patching me up. Cleaning the blood off of me and tending to my wounds.

I don't know what will happen. But I do know that I won't let this happen. I don't know what to do. But I'll figure out. I'm not going to go into trafficking. I'll make a plan, and I'll go through with the plan. I'm not going to be a victim of what they are going to TRY to do to me.