At this point in time

Temperance
It's been a year since my kidnapping. A year with constant nightmares haunting my sleep, but the nightmares have always been there. It's been a year since I was saved and placed back into Alec's care. Alec, who is now my fiance after proposing to me a few montha ago. Other than preparing for a wedding that I never thought would happen, nothing else is going on around us.

Since i've gotten my newfound freedom I had started college, I wanted to be a therapist of some sort to help victims of abuse. Sadly, that dream of mine failed whenever my nightmares got so bad I couldn't find the energy to show up for classes. I will eventually continue with my future job, but i'm at a standstill for now.

In the time i've had away from college I have gone to my mothers grave at least once a week. Talking to my mother who I only hope can hear me is theraputic in some ways. I've only wished to have a mother like everyone else has gotten. 

Zander has tried to move on from Emaline with multiple fails. He goes on a few dates here and there but he can't seem to call them back when it's over. He still sees Emaline as his, thinking that him moving on would betray her. Zander and I visit her grave twice a month with Alec's guards coming with us. Alec's guards which have been around since my kidnapping a year ago, I don't think they have ever said a word to me.

Vicki and Austin are in prison for ten years, which I think is too little for the horrendous crimes they have committed, against minors to add. Erin somehow got away with everything she had done to me, along with the guy who bought me. The guy who bought me is apparently named Johnson, who is extremely rich. He owns a small gang which is why Alec had trouble getting to me a year ago. Erin and Johnson disappeared a few months ago after Alec had his members watching their every move. But now, we are unable to find them.

"A maid of honor?" Alec suddenly asks, snapping me out of my own thoughts.

"What about Nicole? She can definitely be my maid of honor." I suggest as I tie my hair into a ponytail, immediately acting as if I wasn't swimming in my own thoughts for the last five minutes.

I turn to see Alec lying out on the bed, his legs and arms fanned out like a starfish. "Have you made amends with her yet?" He asks, bringing up the fact that she's still infuriated with me. He sits up to look at me.

"She can get over it," I reply, knowing I need to apologize. I've had to apologize several times to her. I've grown to hate apologizing... at least to her.

I had to apologize for the time last year when I couldn't talk to her. It took her and Ryan forever to forgive me. But now they come over all the time. And I've had to apologize for making her think she was pregnant when she's not.

"What are you apologizing for this time?" He grabs my hand, placing a soft kiss on my smooth skin. I let out a grunt of annoyance as I plop down on the bed.

"I just told her that Zander isn't emotionally available," I respond, remembering when she told me she has a crush on him. I thought it would be good to warn her that he isn't looking for a relationship. Who knew she would think I have a thing for him even though I have a fiancé.

He gazed into my eyes, "How are they?"

"I can still see. No glasses for me yet." I respond with a crooked smile, my eyes slowly getting worse over time. Something I blame all the black eyes for.

Suddenly Connor busts into the room, blood dripping down his forehead. "You need to see this!" He huffs, blood falling into his eyes.

The year of solitude has now come to an end, crashing around me like a building that has been demolished in a split second. I stand in the middle of the rubble, unable to catch my breath.

My heart skips as I see the scene laid in front of me. On his forehead is a laceration, his flesh cut open enough to see bone. My stomach wrenches at the gore.

I run over to him, placing my hand firmly on his forehead above his eyes and below his cut to keep more blood from gushing into his eyes. I feel myself turning green as his blood covers my hand, leaking down my arm.

"Temp, you stay in here." Alec grabs his gun, cocking it as he goes around us. "Both of your stay here. Do not open the door. I have my key." He tells us, locking the door from the inside before closing himself out.

"W-what happened?" I'm shaking as I lead him to the bathroom. "An attack from the Black diamonds." He responds, his eyes shut tight from the pain.

My mind goes back to when the Black Diamonds declared that we would no longer be partners. Alec was furious for days after that; he stayed up for nights to find everything he could about their affiliations.

"Why do they have such a cool gang name." Connor sighs. "What?" I glare at him.

Suddenly his legs give out, his teeth gritting. I try to grab him, slowly bringing us both to the cold tile.

"Connor, please don't do this. Please open your eyes." I beg, placing my hand on his sweaty cheek.

Within moments the door bursts open, revealing a man with a gun. His eyes buzz as he looks at Connor and me. Fear fills my bloodstream, causing me to tremble. I look down at Connor, who looks halfway out of it.

The man steps closer; I grab Connors gun and immediately spring to my feet, my brows furrowing.

I won't let him get to Connor.

I shakily bring the gun up, aiming at the gunman that mocks me.

"Is it heavy for you?" He smirks, amused that I dare point a gun at him. "You should leave," I tell him, glancing to make sure the gun is cocked. My heart dropped as I realized the heavy gun I hold wasn't cocked.

I immediately bring the gun towards me, trying to pull the hammer back to cock it. I pull it halfway before the sweat builds up on my hands, making the hammer slip back into place with a loud clang. The man laughs, cocking his gun, continuing to watch me.

I try again, pulling the hammer back, listening to the clicking sound of it cocking. I immediately extend my arms, pointing the gun right back at him. "Can you shoot that thing, sweetheart?" He asks.

I place my finger on the trigger, aiming it at his chest. I can shoot him. I can do it physically but can my mind handle it? Can I take the trauma of ending someone's life?