Thirty-four: something's off

Temperance

Excitement fills my body as soon as Alec comes into view.

He couldn't take me to school this morning because of something that happened with his gang. I had to walk to school.

I jump in his arms, and he holds me tightly. Several people stare at us, their eyes filled with judgment.

He places my feet firmly on the ground, his hands cupping my cheeks.

"Did they hurt you? Are you ok? What's been happening?" His eyes are filled with worry.

"I-I'm fine. Don't worry."

I haven't had any fists fly at me yet but my mental health is something to worry about.

Panic attacks are frequent and when they aren't happening I'm laying down staring into space.

I can't do anything about it, though.

I can't tell him. Or really anyone.

Maybe one day I'll be able to get a therapist or something like that. I can't imagine myself opening up to someone who could judge me though. If I got a therapist they would think I'm disgusting from things that have happened to me.

He hands me a backpack of my clothes. The ones I had asked for.

I'm surprised the police didn't let me get a bag ready to leave. They just took me. They probably thought I'm a risk and I could run.

To be honest, I would've run if I had that sort of opening.

I take the backpack from him with a small smile forming on my face.

"Thank you."

I am wearing Kenli's clothes, which are Chris's hand-me-downs. They don't fit me right and they look worn out. I'm pretty sure anyone can tell these don't belong to me.

"If anything happens to you. Come back to me." Alec tells me.

"I couldn't. The cops would know I'm there." They would know because that's where they found me. I know If they find me there again, then there will be big consequences. I can't put them through that.

"Oh, look who's back. You've been gone for a LONG while." I hear Sabrina's snobby voice. Her voice stings my ears.

Alec and I turn towards her.

I roll my eyes at her, contemplating if I should run.

"Heard your house burnt down." She continues, looking over her glossy nails. A few people turn towards us, watching the scene unravel before their bugging eyes.

I thin my lips, trying to block her high-pitched voice out.

"What's with those clothes?"

I was waiting for her to bring attention to them. Of course, she would be the one to point out that I'm in rags.

I don't dare to respond to her, shooting a glare towards her.

She reaches out to touch me and I immediately back up, spinning on my heel and making a break for it.

I don't feel safe. How can I feel safe? I feel like something will happen. Or something is off?

I don't know if something is wrong with ME or if something was wrong around me. But I'm not too fond of the feeling of it.

I plop down in my usual seat, feeling uncomfortable from the peering eyes. It's been a few days since I've been here, I feel out of place.

I've only been gone for a few days so this should still feel normal. It should... but it doesn't. I feel weird being in this seat.

Maybe I shouldn't have come back? I could've stayed at my cousin's house and hid in a closet.

Alec sits beside me, giving me a nod. We watch as the rest of our classmate's file into the room. They joke with each other and bring attention to the girl in the back of the room.

The girl is me.

When the teacher gets in, she takes a double-take at me. She probably thought I dropped out or something of that sort.

No, I'm still here. I'm just struggling between homes at the moment. I was taken out of my abusive home and shuffled into another that is just the same.

It's possible that Austin isn't as bad as my father. That would be ideal to not have someone beat the shit out of me. Maybe I have to get on his bad side for the abuse to show. If that's the case, I'll do whatever I can to stay on his good side.

Austin isn't a saint. It is obvious. From the way, Chris and Kensli have bruises on them.

The bruises aren't everywhere on their body. They aren't like mine had been when my father would beat me. It's more like when they get hit, it doesn't last long and it's only a few punches.

Like when a child gets in trouble, and they are marked with a spanking. That didn't seem like the case for this, though.

They don't want me calling them by their names or even aunt or uncle. I have to call them Mrs and Mr.

The rules they place over us are stupid. Of course, I didn't expect to get around freely, but I didn't think they would limit me from everything.

Maybe they will treat me like a person and not an object. I know I'm thinking too big for this situation but it's healthy to dream.

They don't treat their children as humans. Why would they treat me as a human? Their children are just object to them.

I jump when I feel a strong hand on my arm.

It is Alec pulling me out of my thoughts.

His eyes are laced with kindness, he didn't mean to make me jump. I sigh and give him a little smile, letting him know that I'm ok.

I know he always worries about me for one reason or another. I don't need him to worry about me. I'll just have to show him that I can take care of myself now.

"You got called on the loudspeaker. The front office wants to see you. With all your stuff." He tells me.

My eyes widen, and my heart drops for the thousandth time. The fear is so sudden that the blood coursing through my legs runs backward, causing my legs to feel pain.

I nod and stand up shakily. I grab the two backpacks.

I walk down the hall thinking about why I would get pulled out of class.

Is it my father? The cops? Austin?

Am I in trouble? What did I do?

All of the thoughts run in circles around my head. Worry builds up in me with every step I take. I want to turn around and run the opposite way.

Whenever I get to the office I see Austin waiting for me, his brows furrowed as I come into view.

Why is he here?

He looks angry, that's enough to tell me that I'm in trouble. I don't know what I did, but I never know. The reason behind my punishments? A mystery.

I am used to not knowing what I am in trouble for, though. I am used to getting punished without an explanation.

I stand next to the man in black beside me.

"Let's go." He grumbles, making me flinch.

The lady at the front office waves me off, giving me a worried look.

Austin walks towards his car, not noticing the way I flinched.

I turn around to look at my school, not knowing if this will be the last time I would see it again for a very, very long time.