Forty-nine: hate filled eyes

Temperance

My whole body aches. Am I dead?

Obviously not. My body feels sore, and I feel sick. 

I wait a few moments before opening my eyes, the bright light blinds me, forcing me to close them again.

Monitors beep around me and I can feel my heart drop. I didn't die. I'm still alive. How had my plan failed? No one was home to see me... do anything.

Many times you see people wake up in the hospital and not know what happened. But, I, however, remember everything. The thoughts and actions up to the point of shoving pills down my own throat.

I was supposed to die earlier.

My ears again focus on the monitor beeping beside me. The smell is familiar, like, Alec. I open my eyes, confirming the place I reside.

I am in Alec's room.

Why am I in Alec's room and not a hospital? Did Chris come home after I fell?

My eyes go to the doorknob which slowly turns and I immediately shut my eyes again, fearing that Alec will be the one opening it.

If I'm here, there's no doubt he read the note. Everyone must've read their notes. My body tenses with embarrassment, wishing I had just died instead of waking back up. 

Waking back up here of all places.

With my eyes staying shut I hear shuffling into the room and then the door closing again. "Temperance..." A familiar voice speaks my name. I open my eyes in a heartbeat, recognizing it is Ella.

Once she sees my eyes open, her hands fly over her mouth in relief, and she walks towards me with tears in her eyes. She grabs my hand and looks at me.

"Everyone's missed you. We were all so worried." She gives my hand a light squeeze, and I look at her. My suicide attempt has completely failed. Who found me? Who brought me here?

"H-how-"

"No, I need to get the doctor. He can fill you in on everything." She cuts me off, letting go of my hand. I open my mouth to speak defiance but no words come out. She thins her lips before turning around, leaving me alone once again.

I wait a few minutes until a doctor steps in with two female nurses behind him. "Ah, Temperance. You're awake." He smiles.

*******************************************

An hour can feel like days whenever your brain is filled with boredom.

Even though I am not dead, I still feel high. I feel the drugs still in my system, trying to flush them out as my body works around them.

"It will take a day or so to flush everything out. It will come out in your... you know, once you go to the bathroom." He tells me, causing my cheeks to flush. He means that the drugs will come out in my feces, so I will have to wait until then.

"Do you want to see anyone?" He asks me after I nod at the beforehand statement.

I bit my lip, holding my words. There's no way I could handle seeing anyone at this moment.

"No. I have some questions." I reply, my voice trembling. He nods patiently.

"How long have I been here for?" The first question pops into my head. I am already feeling tired. I need more sleep.

"You have been unconscious for almost forty hours." He replies, looking at his clipboard.

My next question would be to ask who's waiting here for me. But I already know the answer to that. I know people would be waiting—my friends... and then Alec.

"Who brought me?" I ask, rubbing my left eye. He shifts in his seat. "Chris and Alec."

I feel my heart drop. My poor cousin had to find me like that, on the bathroom floor dead. He didn't deserve that harshness. He shouldn't have found me. Vicki and Austin should have.

"Did Chris call Alec when he found me?" I ask.

Then the doctor shifts in his seat for the second time, looking uncomfortable with my question. "Alec was the one who found you. He rushed you out to the car where Chris was at, apparently."

Suddenly I roll my eyes, not being able to stop myself from the action. It makes me feel disgusting that some selfish manwhore put his hands on me. He should go back and fuck Lidia again and leave me the hell alone. He did an outstanding job of that a month ago.

"I'm going to sleep. I don't want to see anyone." I turn over, facing away from the doctor. I hear him stand up and sigh. Then there is the sound of shuffling. Then the door opens and closes. Now I remain alone.

**************************************************************************

Alec

Once the doctor steps back into the living room, everyone perks up and eyes him with questions written all over our faces.

Then he looked at me and furrows his brows. "She's awake. Or she WAS awake."

"Can we see her when she wakes back up?" Chris asks him.

"She doesn't want to be disturbed."

Then I stand up. The doctor looks at me like he knows what I am going to ask. "Does she hate me?" I blurt, trying not to let my voice break.

"I- I'm sorry. I don't know. Whenever I said your name, she seemed..." He takes a pause, "distraught. She didn't like the idea of you being the one to find her."

My face falls. She hates me. All because of my stupid mistake. All because Lidia called her and told her.

I grit my teeth, and my hands turn into fists. I turn around and walk off. I swing open the kitchen door to reveal Lidia. She is tied up to a chair with tape over her mouth.

I shut the door behind me and trot over towards her. Her face is full of fear. I rip the tape from her mouth and drop it onto her lap. "Let me go, Alec." She grits her teeth.

I grab her by her chin and made her look up at me. "You have fucked up so many things." I grip her chin harder, making her whimper. Then I let go.

"I didn't fuck anything up. You're the one that stuck your dick in me. It's your fault too."

She is right. It is my fault too. It isn't just hers. As soon as I start feeling sad, I shake my head again, bringing me back into reality.

"Not JUST that, Lidia. You told her, knowing it would hurt her. You have done things to her from the start. You are always out of fucking line and never learn your lesson. You have fucked up so many trades we had planned out."

I walk over to a drawer and open it, revealing a gun I had hidden away. I take it and cock it back, aiming it at her head.

"ALEC, STOP!" Arella bursts into the room. I look at her, slowly aiming the gun at the ground. "The fuck you want, Arella. I swear to God."

"You can't do this. She's a member." Arella pleads for Lidia.

"Not anymore, she's not." I pull my gun back up and aim it at Lidia's head. I pull the trigger, and Arella immediately hits my gun away from the aim. Within seconds the bullet misses Lidia and lodges into the wall behind her.

"What the fuck, Arella!" I yell at my sister, angry with her choice to go against me.

Arella looks at me in horror, eyeing the gun in my hand as tears leave her eyes. "Why would you even think about doing that?" She asks me in a distraught tone. 

My ears catch Lidia whimpering in fear, and annoyance creeps up on me again.

"I won't kill you. But you're out of the gang. You are to leave and never come back. If I ever see you again, EVER. Then I will kill you then and there." I threaten. She nods, not saying anything as I pick up a glass of water, throwing it against the wall in anger. The glass shatters as water seeps into the walls.

"ETHAN AND DAMIEN, GET IN HERE AND CLEAN THIS FUCKING MESS!" I yelled, putting my gun on the table and pushing my way past Arella, "You wanted her alive, so you get her the fuck out of here." I add.