Thirty-nine: Alec's family

Alec

7:15 am Friday

I load my things and the guy's things into the trunk of my car. All the main guys would be going with me.

Zander, Damien, Ethan, and Connor. The rest of the men had to stay here to guard.

Once I get everyone's bags into the trunk of my car, I slam it shut.

Then to my surprise, two cars pull up in my driveway. We aren't expecting anyone. The cars stop. I can't see inside.

Then I feel my heart drop.

It is my parents. Picture perfect parents.

No, not just them.

I watch as my parents got out of the first car. My mom has a big smile plastered on her face walking over to me while my father goes back to get their luggage.

"What are you guys doing here? You weren't supposed to get back from Hawaii yet." I ask my mom as she engulfs me in a bear hug.

"We just missed you too much. Not to mention your father was worried." She let me go with a sigh. My father is like that. Never trust me with MY gang for too long. It was once his until he handed it down to me. He doesn't have to worry about it anymore.

Not that I'm not grateful to see them. I didn't really expect it.

Then out of the car behind theirs, four people came out—three females with colorful hair and one male with hair like mine.

"ACE! ARELLA!" I yell at my siblings to get their attention.

Ace turns to grab his girlfriend, Vanessa's, hand and starts walking towards me. While on the other hand, Arella left them all behind, including her girlfriend, Salara.

Right, when she gets to me, she jumps on me and wraps me in her arms.

"OMG, I MISSED YOU SO MUCH, AL!" She basically cries. I laugh as I set her down, hugging my brother next. Then Vanessa and Salara.

"I missed you guys too." I smile at her.

Let's catch up. I am not the oldest. I am the middle child. Ace is the oldest. He didn't want the gang, so they handed it down to me. He is also graduated. Arella is the youngest. She.... my Flowers age. And the only reason she got to go on the trip and not have to do school is that she's being homeschooled.

"How was dad on the trip..?" I lean down, whispering in my sister's ear. I'm referring to my dad being against gays.

Well, my sister is gay. And she happened to take her girlfriend on the trip. Dad says it's just a phase, but they have been together for a year.

"He kept giving Sal and I the evil eye. And we couldn't have any physical contact." She pouts. I roll my eyes at my father's foolish behavior.

He walks up with suitcases in his hand and shakes my hand formally.

"Will we see you tonight?" My father asks me. I shake my head no. "I'm going on a class field trip. I'll be back Sunday night." I tell him.

He looks at me with disapproval, and I roll my eyes. "You can tell Justin or one of the guys to fill you in. I have to go before I'm late to school." I give him a smirk.

"Love you!" My mom and sister say in sync.

"Love you guys too. ALRIGHT, GUYS, GET YOUR ASSES IN THE CAR, OR I'M LEAVING YOU!"
******************************

Temperance

4:30 pm Friday

"Hey, can I sit with you?" I turn my head to see Kenli smiling at me.

I nod and take my seat by the window, moving my luggage to the floor, giving my legs little room.

She sat beside me and did the same.

"Why didn't you sit with your friends?" My voice is groggy from not talking all day.

"Am I not allowed to sit with my cousin?" She asks jokingly.

I look out the window. The teachers are outside talking about who knows what.

"Ok, well, I'm just worried about you. You're really quiet nowadays, and you don't really have anyone aside from Chris and me." She admits.

I don't say anything. I don't turn towards her to face her. I nod.

I watch the teachers talk until one of them looks at me. I quickly dart my eyes to my hands as my cheeks heat up from embarrassment.

"Are you excited?" Kenli asks me.

"About?" I look at the rip in my jeans and put my finger through it. It is supposed to have a rip. It was made like that, which is popular now. But it's odd.

"About the ski trip, silly!" She beams. She is obviously excited.

I sigh, "Not really."

I watch from the peripheral view as her smile drops.

"Why not? You'll see your old friends from your other school!" She doesn't know I can't talk to them. She doesn't know I am not allowed to. She doesn't know I'm not allowed to have friends.

Chris knows about it. But Kenli is oblivious.

I lean my head against the window, and I close my eyes. I don't feel like giving her an excuse. I don't feel like talking in general.

I'm so tired.

I don't even want to be here right now.

I hear the bus driver and the teacher get on the bus. I don't even have to open my eyes to know that they are standing at the front of the bus.

I know the teacher is counting all of the students. It's just what they have to do.

After a few minutes or so, I hear her voice through the bus speaker.

I slightly open my eyes, my head not leaving the window.

"Ok, class. We have a six-hour ride ahead of us. I hope you're excited because I sure am!" With that, she sits down in her seat at the front.

I close my eyes again and sigh like it's a habit.

Three hours with maniacs. Fun.

Not to mention a whole weekend with these stupid fucks. I'll be alone with no one to talk to. Trying to avoid my old friends. Trying to avoid the spies or whatever they are.

Suddenly my heartaches. No, not a panic attack. Just sadness. The sadness everyone gets. Why was I sad? It was the million-dollar question. I don't know why I'm sad. I never know.

Maybe it's because of my past. Maybe it's because of what I'm going through right now. Ever since my mom died... my life has been pure hell.

It's not easy. I used to be ok. I would always think, "just have to survive until I'm 18. Then I can get out of here". I would try to survive for that.

Now I'm just fighting death. I don't want to fight death. I want to give in and fall into the arms of death. Have it engulf me.

Is it wrong to want to die?

I feel a single tear leave my eye and smoothly slide down my bruised cheek. I look up as tears linger in my eyes. There is a big lump in my throat.

You're ok. You're ok. You're ok. Calm down. I try to lie to myself.

I am trying to contain the thrashing in my mind—the stinging of the lump in my throat. And the stinging of tears in my eyes. I dig my nails into my palms, making crescent moons.

I turn back to the window, trying to hide my tears from Kenli Incase she looks my way. I can't let her see. I can't let anyone see me cry. It's pathetic, just like me.

I rest my forehead against the glass. The road isn't smooth. Making my forehead bounce against the glass.

I take deep breaths, closing my eyes, pressing my forehead harder against the glass. My fingernails digging so hard into my palms; I feel the hot liquid oozing out lightly.

I remove my fingernails from my palms and sigh. I'm ok. I'm alright. I can't help but feel like something bad will happen.

Which when that happens... it never turns out good. I don't feel like it would happen today. Maybe not even this week. But soon. I feel it. But somehow, I also felt peace from it. Not just a bad feeling. But a peaceful one too.