Twenty-five: bloody rain

Temperance

My body crashes into the cement, my hands covering my ringing ears. 

I open my eyes, feeling my heart drop as I'm covered in blood.

"Emaline!" I shriek once I locate the source of the blood.

I jump towards her putting her limp body on my lap. 

Then there is another loud gunshot. And Tj is on the ground bleeding. He shot himself.

I don't know where. Nor do I care. I only care about the girl that's bleeding out in front of me.

"Is she alive?" Zander screams at me. With shaky hands, I reach toward her neck. My hand slips from the blood before I'm able to press my fingers around her neck. 

I find the spot where I'm supposed to feel her pulse. "N... no." The sound of the rain drowns my voice out.

I press harder on her neck before having my hand retreat. I place my hand on her chest, where she was shot. Her face continues to lose its color as I press down on her wound, the blood seeping through my fingers.

Her blond hair is already soaked with her dark blood.

Tears stream down my face as I shriek in desolation.

I let out body-wracking sobs, trying to shake Emaline to wake her. 

By this time, people are surrounding us, checking the scene laid out in the scrap yard.

A few people surround Tj. "HE'S ALIVE," Some distant voice shouts.

"Bring him into the dungeon," Alec replies.

Zander grabs onto her arms, crying. He is screaming at her, begging her to wake up. 

I beg her to wake up in unison with Zander, moving her soaked hair away from her cold face.

Alec tries to pull me away from her lifeless body, but I escape his grip and scramble back to her. Zander starts compressions, desperately trying to get her to open her eyes.

I feel numb.

I lost my best friend.

I let out another scream before placing my hands over my mouth. My sobs are leaving my body faster than oxygen can fill my lungs. I wobble from the dizziness as my hands start to tingle.

The rain attempts to rinse me from her blood, only to fail miserably.

She was alive only moments ago. She was full of life and breathing. That was only minutes ago. How can she be dead? 

I grab onto Zander, my eyes blurry from the tears, and pull him closer to me. We wrap our arms around each other, using each other for comfort.

Life is something that isn't yours to take. Once you've taken it, then you can't give it back.

*****************************************

It's been three days since Emaline's death.

For three days, I've locked myself in Alec's room.

Avoiding all contact with humans.

For three days, I've been avoiding eating.

The only thing I can feel is loss. No other emotion resides in my body.

I cried so much in the days before now that it caused me to throw up. I ended up in my own tears after all the food left my body.

Alec's room is a wreck since he hasn't been in here for three days. He's been dealing with the situation at hand and apparently sleeping on the couch.

His sheets are strung out everywhere. Every piece of furniture has been thrown and broken.

Every time I close my eyes, I can see her. I can see her lifeless body lying in the rain. I can see the blood rushing out of her body. I can see her blood on my hands even though I've washed them until they were raw.

I've avoided sleeping because whenever I fall asleep, I see her death replay.

I have cuts from self-harm running down my arms and legs. My hips and thighs are the most covered with the slices.

Whenever I press the cold metal against my smooth skin, I can't help but slide it across my arm. The stinging would bring me an odd sense of relief. 

They aren't shallow. They are deep. Not deep enough to kill me. But they are deep enough for some to scar.

All of my friends have tried to talk to me through the door. I haven't had the courage to respond.

Alec always tries to get me to come out or eat something.

Not even he can help me.

I know Zander feels the same way since he had a crush on her.

He stays in his room too. Not talking or anything. The only time he will come out is to go to the training room. He would stay in there, punching away, exercising himself until he is dragged out of the room. At least that's what I'm told.

I know the others are sad. I know it isn't just Zander and me. But they are better at managing it than we are.

"Temp, please come out..." I hear Alec's muffled voice.

I haven't taken a shower in three days. I am still in the clothes from that day.

I smell of body odor, dirt, puke, and blood.

Blood from Emaline and blood from my cuts.

I know I need a shower, but I can't lift myself off of the ground. I don't have the courage or strength to.

"The funeral will be tomorrow." Sadness drips from his voice.

Her funeral.

My best friend's funeral.

My dead best friend's funeral.

It seems everyone I get close to dies.


First, my mom. Now Emaline.

Maybe I'm a curse. Maybe I'm not meant to have friends. Maybe I should've been the one to die in that wreck.

I will never be able to see Emaline again. I'll never be able to hear her laugh or see her smile. I'll never be able to hear her voice.

She is gone. Forever

******************************************************

I sit at her grave.

Everyone looks so devastated. Zander and Rea cry beside me, but I can't seem to cry.

My eyes are so dry I'm having to use eye drops to conceal the stinging.

Even Lidia is trying to hold back tears. This is surprising because she's a heartless bitch.

Alec holds me in his arms. Letting me lay my head on his shoulder.

Her grave has many flowers covering it. I can only wonder if her parents know what has happened to their daughter.

Today is the first time I showered since she died. I finally left my old clothes for a black dress and heels.

I made sure to wear a black jacket to cover my cuts.

"I m-m-miss her- s-so much!" I grip Alec's shirt harder, wrinkling it.

My knees are weak. I haven't eaten in days. I refuse to eat even though my stomach is eating itself.

"I know Temp..." he whispers into my hair.

Zander is running his fingers through his hair with tears running down his face.

After everyone leaves, I remain with Zander and Alec.

Alec isn't crying. I know he wants to. But he wants to stay strong for Zander and me.

"I'm s-so s-s-sorry I- c-couldn't protect... y-you!" I can barely form a simple sentence. I was right there, right beside her.

I could've done something. I wasn't quick enough. I didn't look fast enough.

It's my fault. If I would've seen him she would be alive right now.

"It's not your fault." Alec sighs.

"How can you say t-that?" I yell at him. Anger bursts within me. It is MY fault. He has no right to tell me it's not. I was THERE.

"It's not your fault," Zander whispers next to me.

I stop myself from saying anything else and instead bring my knees to my chest.

Hugging them tightly for comfort.

Alec pulls me into his body. Right now, I need a blade for cuts.

Then something hits me. Tj is still alive. Tj is in whatever the dungeon is. I turn to Alec, still crying.

"I-I need t-to see h-him."

I know he knows who I am referring to. I can tell from his facial expression.

"That's not a good idea." He replies.

"Y-you're going to let me... o-or I-...." I don't know what I will do. All I know is that I need to see that sick fuck. And I need to torture him.

It's the only thing that'll make me feel better. The only thing.