chapter 21: When We Cooked

It was around twelve in the afternoon when Blaze was reading a business article since it was a holiday. When a sudden knock disrupted his peace, he thought it was probably the call for lunch. Oh, how wrong he was!
"Sir, you're being summoned downstairs by ma'am's grandmother," informed a maid from outside.
"I'm coming," he told her and put his book before marching downstairs. As he approached the living room, he noticed Diva standing in front of Emerald as she was seated on the sofa.
Please don't tell me it's another court call, Blaze internally begged.
Blaze stood beside Diva and raised an eyebrow in question. Diva shrugged her shoulders in response.
"Blaze." Blaze turned his attention to his new grandmother-in-law. "I want to eat red beans and rice, southwest omelet, and cottage fries for lunch," said Emerald.
"Sure. I'll tell the chefs," Blaze replied as politely as possible with a slight courteous smile.
"No, I want you and Diva to cook for me. I want to see how well you work together," she told them.
Diva seemed like she already knew, so she just released a hopeless sigh.
"But I have never cooked before," Blaze stated bluntly.
Emerald narrowed her eyes at him. "Cooking is a very important element for a person. Why did you never learn it?"
"My mom always said I would dismantle the electronic appliances if I entered the kitchen, so she never allowed me in," he said, and Diva stifled a laugh. It was true. His mom never allowed him to cook. She thought Blaze was better off with software and computers.
Emerald cleared her throat and let out, "Okay. But now I hope you won't tinker with appliances and can cook something for me."
"Sure," there was a hint of confidence in his voice. Who knew where he was getting that confidence from?
As Blaze and Diva were making their way to the kitchen, she asked, "Why do you seem so chill? I thought you can't cook."
"Why do I have to worry? You can cook, right?"
There was a brief pause in the hallway as Blaze just stared at Diva blankly.
Slowly she shook her head in denial.
"You're kidding! Your grandma is so strict, and she never taught you how to cook?" Blaze was sure that Diva would know how to cook. Also, he had a misconception that the chatterbox girls could cook well, which was proved wrong at the very moment.
"Actually, she tried to teach me but the kitchen caught on fire twice." Diva huffed and entered the kitchen.
Blaze rolled his eyes.
Back at his parents' home, Blaze only went to the kitchen to drink water or to take out something from the refrigerator. Therefore, he absolutely had no idea how a dish was cooked, nor did he have any idea how to use the cooking appliances.
Diva placed her palms on the counter and asked, "What did she say to cook again?"
"Don't you remember?" Diva shook her head goofily. Sighing, he said, "Red beans and rice, cottage fries, and southwest omelet."
"That many?" Diva exclaimed.
"Since your grandma is old, she needs to eat healthy food," Blaze told her and looked through the baskets of fresh fruits and vegetables.
"Do we have a recipe book?" Diva looked in the cabinets for a recipe book.
He rolled his eyes. "Ever heard of YouTube?"
"Yes, there's that." Diva only remembered YouTube when she needed to watch funny videos or short clips from her favorite movie 'Coco'. "What should we make first?"
"Which is the easiest to make?" Blaze asked.
"The omelet, I guess," she replied.
"No, first, we need to put the red beans in for it to get cooked. Wiki says they take time." Blaze searched for the red beans in the refrigerator.
"Blaze, I don't think red beans are kept in the fridge."
"Then, where do you keep them?" Blaze creased his brows in confusion.
"Let's ask Google." Diva searched on her phone. "In an airtight container?"
Blaze started looking through the cabinets until he found the red beans and washed them before putting it on the stove with low heat. "I think we should gather the ingredients first," he suggested.
"Agreed."
While trying to find the ingredients they needed, the two of them messed up the kitchen very badly.
"Blaze, which one of these is celery?" Diva showed him a lot of green stalks and leaves from the fridge.
"I don't know."
"Where is cayenne pepper, Blaze?"
"Don't know."
"What is dried thyme?"
"Dunno." He ran a hand through his hair in annoyance.
"Blaze, what is kosher salt? Isn't it like normal salt?"
Blaze let out a frustrated groan and said, "Do I look like I know?"
"Which one of them is olive oil? They all look the same to me."
"For the last time, Diva, I don't know!" he snapped. "And where the fuck is that cheddar cheese?"
When it came to cooking, the two of them were an utter disaster. Even if those two shared close to no similarities, it was one of those similarities they had. They couldn't cook at all.
After a lot of hustling, they managed to find the needed ingredients. As it was decided, they tried to make the southwest omelet first.
Diva took the responsibility of cutting the vegetables, which were supposed to look like cubes but ended up in horrid shapes.
Meanwhile, Blaze was battering the egg. He got egg sprinkled all over his apron, and the counter was filled with stains. Hurriedly, he washed his hands to get rid of the disgusting liquid. Diva couldn't help but chuckle, seeing his miserable condition, while Blaze could only curse Diva in his mind for getting him into that situation.
After that, according to YouTube, Diva poured olive oil into the large skillet. As soon as the oil touched the skillet, it sparked, scaring Diva, who jumped back and collided with Blaze's chest, making him drop the plate from his hand.
"Geez. Be careful," he warned and started picking up the broken shards. Diva also bent down to help him pick the shards carefully.
"Sorry." She held her ears playfully, making him shake his head hopelessly. "Let's try to coordinate better. It's all the test is about, right?"
Blaze twitched his lips and said, "That's what we have been trying to do if you haven't realized." He flickered her forehead with his forefinger playfully, and Diva beamed in delight.
Her grin didn't last long as a burning smell entered her nostrils. "Oh, my gosh! The omelet!" She stood up in a heartbeat and glanced at the skillet, where the once yellow omelet was. Now it was scorching scarlet. Instantly, Blaze turned off the stove and let out a sigh.
Diva's expression dropped as she stared at the burnt dish. Blaze didn't like the sad look on her face, so he patted her shoulder and said to her, "Let's try it again."
As soon as she heard him, Diva was back on track. She got excited. She rolled up her sleeves and started battering the eggs again. Even though the two of them were working diligently, the results were still disastrous.
While attempting to make the cottage fries, a question occurred to Diva. "Why do you think it's called 'cottage fries', Blaze?"
"How shall I know?" he responded, paying close attention to the potatoes in the pan which was on medium heat.
She mumbled, "Was it used to be made in the cottage?"
Blaze shrugged in response.
A smile lit up on her face as another thought occurred to her. "Then, shouldn't it be called 'mansion fries' since we're making it in a mansion?" she proposed delightfully.
Blaze stopped stirring the fries and tilted his head, a smile forming on his lips, as he let out, "What?"
"Mansion fries it is, then." Diva grinned, contented that she was able to make the always-grumpy guy erupt into laughter.
As Diva laughed at her words, Diva couldn't help but wonder that even though memes didn't make him laugh, at least her lame jokes did.
"Oh, shit! The fries!" Blaze exclaimed in horror.
While they were chattering away happily, the poor potato fries were burnt due to not being stirred.
"Cooking isn't a cup of our tea, is it, Blaze?" Diva burst into fits of laughter at their mishaps.
"Definitely not," he agreed and laughed along with her.
Somehow, destroying the structure of the kitchen, they were done with the cooking, or so they thought.
"Everything is ready. The fries, omelet, red beans and ric��" Blaze stopped midway, realizing something.
"What?" Diva poked him.
"Crap! We never put the rice in the rice cooker, did we?"
Diva face-palmed.
Just then Emerald walked in the kitchen and a wide shock took over her face. The kitchen looked like there was a typhoon.
"What happened here?" she asked, her gaze turning to the two culprits.
One of them was grinning sheepishly, while another one just averted his gaze and looked at the ceiling. When Emerald's gaze shifted to the dishes that they made, she shook her head in disappointment. The dishes looked anything but edible.
"Grandma, you didn't have to come here. We would have served you in a while. We just need to cook the rice," Diva interrupted her surveillance.
Emerald glared at the mess. "Never mind that. I have told a servant to order something from outside. I knew something like this would happen, but not this horrible."
Blaze also glanced around and cringed. He couldn't believe that he created that. He couldn't tolerate messiness, and he had created such a masterpiece of a mess. He couldn't understand whether he should be laughing or be ashamed of himself.
"Anyways, you two go and freshen up," Emerald told them, making them nod.
"But Grandma, did we pass?" Diva asked nervously, crossing her fingers, wishing that they passed.
A smile cracked on Emerald's wrinkled face as she announced, "You two passed the test the moment you decided to make the dishes by yourself, and not by ordering from outside."
Blaze and Diva were left dumbstruck. That simple thought, ordering from outside, didn't even cross their minds. Yet they were glad that they didn't because if they did, they would have failed.
Besides, all's well that ends well.