Chapter 44: I will wait for your reply

Silent.
Egan kept staring at Vera making her constantly confused. Unable to say anything, much less face Egan, Vera looked down at her troubled hands in shame.
This is the first time Vera has received a true confession. How do you feel right? It was very strange, a little bit of joy and a little bit of anxiety at the same time. It's just that Vera doesn't know Egan enough to trust him completely. Think about it, Vera has only met Egan a few times, not talking much enough, not understanding deeply enough. Both are still in their comfort zone. Just yesterday, Vera was still showing reservations, alertness. Egan also keeps an eye on happiness and moderation. The atmosphere is really comfortable and pleasant. Yet suddenly everything changed when Egan decided to break through, get out of his shell, erase the distance between the two. He has an arrogant, stocky tone with very confident statements.
Everything happens too fast and dangerously, Vera is a person with low self-confidence, not good at handling situations in communication, so it is difficult to accept easily, which is very normal, easy to understand, easy to understand. I have a cold.
For his part, Egan had just realized he was a bit hasty. Are you too ready? Egan brooded, scolding himself for scaring Vera. Look at her, maybe Vera is very confused. Right, Egan found himself making a mess. But now that he stopped, it was like slapping himself in the face, when indirectly admitting that the sudden retreat was a joke, Egan is not valid or trustworthy? If you think about it, it's really bad. If Egan did that, dropping out midway or making a less-than-convincing correction would result in Vera most likely hating Egan. Vera won't trust him anymore. And once trust has been damaged, it is very difficult to restore. When you can't trust a person, how can you accept that person's feelings? Egan a thousand times did not want things to go in that negative direction. Egan dismissed the bad reasoning, returned to the present. He knew he had to come up with a different, more appropriate, more effective solution. Watching Vera's expression, Egan tried to put herself in Vera's shoes, to understand what she was thinking, how she felt about the behavior that surprised her. Until finding a discovery that helps, improves the situation, Egan did not miss, on the contrary, ready to use it.
"You're telling the truth, Vera." Egan realized that Vera did not believe what he said, once again he had a firm affirmation: "Please, believe me, don't doubt my feelings, poor me."
At Egan's serious tone, Vera was forced to look up at him. She just looked at Egan, because she realized that Egan wasn't finished yet. Vera knew that she didn't interrupt for no reason when Egan was confiding. Vera has always been in the role of a listener, more than offering a packaged opinion or complaining. That's why she feels very good about that role. No matter what other people think of her, Vera is just Vera.
"You can put your hand on my heart, feel it beat, and then you'll see how sincere I am to you." Egan had an offer when Vera was still wondering. The reason Egan knew about Vera so well was that her face revealed too many unnecessary things. It could be said that Vera could not hide her feelings. That's very precious, but it's also Vera's fatal weakness. People can use it to harm Vera. In the case of Vera being psychologically attacked, she would definitely lose 100%.
Egan's gaze was a sky of urgent anticipation. So, not wanting to be a selfish person, thinking only of herself, as well as To satisfy Egan's wishes, Vera timidly raised her hand, but she did not have the courage to bring it to Egan. . Hesitancy is evident in the indecisive movement. Vera's hand hesitated in the air for a long time. Even Vara felt unqualified to touch Egan. Egan clearly exudes a noble and aristocratic aura, although he is in a state that is not as majestic as before. But that alone is enough to make Vera shy, she feels she is not worthy. Compared to everything, Egan is obviously much better than Vera. Not to mention Vera has the mindset that she's not clean, figuratively clean. Vera was molested by Enoch, touched in sensitive places, and then the fact that she was pressed down by delinquents and raped her. It all becomes an obsession, leading Vera to believe that she is unworthy of a man.
Observing Vera's behavior, Egan decided everything for Vera. He can't stand when Vera has low self-esteem, false thoughts about herself. Vera's hand that was slowly retracting was caught by Egan. Egan's action was a sudden one that startled Vera. She opened her eyes wide, staring at Egan in shock. Vera even tried to remove Egan's hand from her.
"What are you doing? Let go of me." Vera requested. Although Egan's grip did not cause any pain or damage to Vera, she still felt that it was not appropriate. This intimate contact made Vera not know how to handle it.
"Don't hesitate." Egan spoke again, convincing Vera: "I want you to listen to the beat of my heart. I'll let you touch me."
Vera was really surprised that from time to time Egan seemed to read her mind. Egan didn't even hesitate to say it all. He told what Vera was worried about. Another new experience that made Vera's head disorder even more confusing.
Then don't let Vera have a strong refusal or protest. Egan slowly took Vera's hand, bringing Vera's hand to his chest. Exactly where he wanted. There Egan's heart was pounding. This was something that Egan had never experienced before. And he knew what that meant, and Egan believed Vera wasn't stupid not to understand the simple expression of love. The moment Vera's hand touched Egan's chest, even through the fabric, was enough to make Vera's heart react strongly. The spark of love was transmitted from Egan and was quickly received by Vera.
Vera's heart was pounding incessantly, and her body temperature was also starting to change. The heat made Vera's chubby cheeks flush. She is shy, embarrassed. Like teenagers standing in front of the person they like. Egan and Vera both noticed a clear change in themselves. Sign of love.
"Can you hear it throbbing, fast-paced?" Egan asked as Vera seemed to be silent to enjoy the feeling she had just discovered.
Vera shyly nodded, her face still red.
"Now do you believe me, Vera?"
Vera nodded again. She was still quite confused with the incident so she didn't know what to do or say appropriately at this time.
"So what about you, Vera?" Egan suddenly changed the subject, making Vera confused now even more confused: "Do you accept me?"
Egan looked at Vera so intensely, he seemed to be patiently waiting for Vera to give him the answer he had to know.
And Vera could not be cruel to Egan's waiting, much less should not be silent and ignore it. At least Vera does not want to be judged as less graceful in her behavior when she only knows how to close her mouth, making others uncomfortable, worse, hurt because of her.
"I... Why me?" Vera mustered the courage to look straight at Egan and interrogate: "I'm not worthy of you. I'm incompetent, useless... I'm really..."
"You're so good Vera, never forget that. Don't lower your self-worth either." Egan interrupted Vera with an affirmation: "You are beautiful and attractive in your own way. People who talk bad about you are jealous of you. Because you are better than them."
"You're exaggerating. Don't say things that aren't true..." Vera argued, she didn't want to admit what Egan said, even though she wanted herself to be like Egan said.
"What you say is the truth." Egan interrupted Vera's words again, his voice was very serious: "Only others can see your beauty. I myself always think that I am perfect, just like I am an arrogant person, promoting my ego. outrageously."
Vera can't argue with Egan because what Egan said is reasonable and correct.
"What do you see in me that attracts you?" Vera finally couldn't hold back the question and asked: "If it's just because I once saved your life, isn't it normal? There are many good girls around you, both good and beautiful. They are superior to you. me, it's an obvious fact."
Vera wanted Egan to give the most definite answer, just as she wanted to give Egan more time to reconsider. Vera doesn't want Egan to regret his choice.
"Your eyes are so beautiful." Egan gave an answer that was completely beyond Vera's expectations. After all, what the hell is Egan talking about? It sounds confusing to die.
As if seeing Vera look bewildered at her hidden words, Egan calmly explained: "Did you know? The first time I met you, I was attracted to your talking eyes. Look at your pair of eyes. In those eyes, I saw the story of the life you had to go through. The hurt was evident in it, however, there was something more superior to be found. In your eyes, I saw the pain. longing and hope And when I hear about your story, I wonder how you can be so strong, no matter how painful it is, you are still indomitable I don't know when you became My life is much better than yours. My painful story can't compare with yours. Before I met you, I lived a very dry and cold life, my heart did not. willing to open the door to trust anyone But then it changed on that fateful night You helped me realize many valuable things I wanted to change, wanted to be strong like you. And the word With that urge, that desire, gradually my heart turns to you. I can't in, saying his story was ridiculous, it was a myth. He doesn't deny that he's not good at expressing himself, but that's all the feeling that he will use actions to prove instead of words. Hope you understand, accept and give me a chance. Is that okay, Vera?"
Once again tears fell from Vera's eyes, she was touched by Egan's sincerity. Egan's every word completely touched Vera's heart, right in the place of the nakedness that was hard to hide, the fragile, the soft.
"Vera, how are you?" Egan was confused again when she saw Vera's tears: "Don't think about unhappy things. Or is it because of you that I...?"
Vera shook her head vigorously, choking, "I don't know what to do, it was really unexpected, you confused me."
"I'm not forcing you to give me an answer right away, Vera, you can think."
"You give me time?" Vera asked Egan in surprise. She didn't think Egan would be so kind. Vera thought that Egan wanted to use the excuse of saving her from the bad guys that made her work hard and painfully repay the favor with his suggestion.
"Of course." Egan smiled, couldn't help stroking Vera's hair: "I can wait, but don't make me wait too long. Poor me."
"Yes." Vera nodded in agreement: "Thank you."
"No need for politeness." Egan has always given Vera a lot of the tenderness he has.
"Now get some rest, I'll go out." Egan feels it's time for Vera to recover, he also needs to deal with some personal matters.
"If you need anything, just call. I'm in the next room." Egan reminded Vera and received her understanding nod.
"So here you go." Egan smiled at her and then got off the bed and headed for the door.
Vera spent the whole afternoon thinking about what Egan had told her. Honestly, Vera could not repay Egan's feelings overnight. The heart needs time to adapt as well as to accept Egan. If Vera had immediately accepted, accepting Egan would have been like she was the type of person who lied. And Egan certainly won't be happy or amused with that quickness. And as expected of Egan, Vera had the right plan for what Egan thought would happen. So Egan willingly gave Vera time to verify his claims. Egan will try to use practical actions to prove everything he says is sincere.