Chapter Twelve - I don't even know anymore

Farrah

I was nervous as Asher, and I headed outside. I don’t know why we have been alone before. He led us to the back door, and it was beautiful. If you look up, you have an incredible view of the stars. I smiled as I looked at them. I loved the stars. The yard was huge. It had a beautiful swimming pool, a summer house, a fire pit, and all I could see from where I was standing.

“Oh wow, this yard is beautiful,” I gushed, looking around.

Asher smiled and nodded. He kept his hand on the small of my back and led us over to the fire pit, and we sat down on the bench that was in front of it. There was plenty of room on it, but he sat right next to me, his leg against mine. He placed his hand on my knee. I shivered a little.

“Have you had a good night?” He asked, turning to me.

“Surprisingly, yes,” I giggled.

“Why surprisingly?” He laughed.

“I was expecting it to be different,” I said, “I was expecting boys being boys, crude remarks, a room full of smoke and I don’t know what else,” I added, laughing.

“I am not going to lie, it is like that a lot, but I think they are behaving tonight since it is the first time you two have been here,” He laughed, “Next time, will be more like that,” He added.

“Next time? Who said we were coming back?” I asked, raising my brow at him.

“I am sure Violet will agree she is coming back, she is having a ball,” He laughed.

“Yes, it seems like she is,” I smiled.

Violet was like a completely different person tonight. She seemed confident and like she had been hanging out with the guys for years. It was nice to see. I wish I were the same.

“And I know you want to also, even if you don’t admit it,” He said.

Asher removed his hand from my knee and slipped his arm around my shoulder. My head automatically fell on his shoulder. I quickly pulled away after I realised what I did, mumbling a sorry to him.

“I don’t mind,” He said, patting his shoulder.

I was still a little on edge with him because there was a part of me that still felt like he was up to something. Maybe I was paranoid, but I will not be ultimately letting my guard down around him.

“Thanks, but it is alright,” I smiled.

“Well the offer is there if you change your mind,” He said.

I stood, wanting to go a walk around and see the rest of the beautiful garden. I walked away, not saying anything, but Asher quickly moved and caught up with me.

“Running away from me now?” He said, grabbing my hips from behind, pulling me back to him.

My back to his front and his arms slipped around me.

“No, I only wanted to see the rest of the garden,” I giggled.
He used his hold on me to turn me to face him. I was expecting him to let me go, but he didn’t, he pulled me into him, tightly.

“If that is your excuse,” He said.

“It is the truth,” I huffed.

He smirked and laughed, his arm wrapping around the frame of my body. He lifted the other one, his hand resting on my cheek, stroking it with the tips of his fingers. My breath jumped in my throat for a moment.

“Asher, what, what are you doing?” I breathed out.

His face seems to be inching closer to me, and I can feel the warmth of his breath fan my face. I know I should pull away, but I couldn’t, or should I say a part of me didn’t want too. I am still all a little confused with all of this.

“I think you should let me kiss you again,” He said.

“I don’t think that is such a good idea,” I stammered out.

Yes, I liked his kisses, but I can’t keep putting myself in this position. I know if I do in the end, I will end up hurt.

“Why not?” He asked, his lips getting closer to mine.

I went to answer, but no words came out. I didn’t know how to answer that. I don’t want him getting upset again and storming off. Asher’s lips brushed mine, only for a single second, but it was enough to get to me. I know I was going to regret this, but I couldn’t help it.


I held onto his tee and closed the space between our lips. I pressed mine to his. The moment I did, the tighter his grip on me got. I moaned softly at the feel of his lips again. I snaked my arms around his neck, pressing my body to his. He groaned into my lips.

This kiss was different from the last. It seemed to be more, how can I put it…heated? I feel his run along my lower back and moving towards my ass. I know I should pull away, but the way his lips felt was making me lose all sense. He cupped my ass in his hand, smirking into the kiss, and a small giggle escaped from my lips.

Asher pulled away first.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself,” He laughed.

“Hmm, OK,” I laughed, “Don’t think we are making a habit of this, you and me kissing,” I added sternly.

“If you say so,” He said, winking at me.

“I do,” I said.

He didn’t look like he believes me. I went to tell him again, but I didn’t get a chance because he pulled me back in and attached his lips to mine. A loud squeak like noise fell from my lips because I wasn’t expecting. And like before I let myself kiss him back. Why do I insist on doing this to myself? The kiss was going towards heated again, but I wasn’t letting that happen again. He can’t keep thinking he can kiss me anytime he wants.

I pulled away first this time, taking a few steps back. My breathing was heavy, and my heart was beating faster than average speed.

“We should head back in,” I said softly before turning and heading back inside.
I don’t think being alone with him any longer was such a good idea. I rushed back inside, finding my way back to the basement. I sat down on the sofa, and Violet came over and sat down next to me.

“You OK? You rushed back in here quickly,” She asked.

“I don’t know anymore,” I sighed, “He needs to stop kissing me,” I added.

“He kissed you again?” She spoke.

“Well, he encouraged it, I kissed him,” I said, shaking my head.

I am not making things easier for myself, am I? Violet went to say something, but before she could Asher came back in. He gave me a small smile before going to sit with the guys.

“Do you like him?” She whispered.

“I don’t even know anymore,” I whispered back, “And even if I do, it doesn’t matter because I still have a feeling, he is up to something, and in the end, I will be the one getting hurt,” I added.

“I don’t know, he seems different with you, maybe you should give him a chance,” She smiled.

“I don’t think that is such a good idea,” I said, “I need to make up my mind and stick to it,” I added.

Violet gave me a sympathetic look. I let out another sigh, running my fingers through my hair.

I think I am in trouble!