Chapter Fifteen - Forgive me?

Asher

I was glad to be home. I needed away from school, away from Maisie, away from them all. I heard what Farrah said to Maisie that I wasn’t worth it. She was right. I wasn’t. I think Farrah may hate me now, but I hate myself anyway, so it doesn’t matter. I know I messed up today. I don’t blame her. I had to though, for her sake more than mine. Farrah is better staying away from me. I will only get her into trouble, use her and then break her heart. It is what I do.

I headed inside, faking a smile. I don’t want my Grandma asking questions. She doesn’t need to know that I have turned back to jackass mode with Farrah.

“Hey sweetie, how was your day?” She asked.

“Hey Grandma, it was alright, you?” I smiled.

“I have kept myself busy,” She laughed, “What’s wrong? And don’t say there isn’t anything wrong, I know you better than that,” She added.

I sometimes forget that she can read me like a book.

“Let’s sit down, and talk, sweetie,” She smiled.

I wanted to tell her, no, but I do not like telling my Grandma no. I nodded, and we sat down on the sofa. I am not sure what to say to her. My Grandma gave me a moment.

“I messed up today,” I said.

“With?” She asked.

“Farrah. I wasn’t very nice to her,” I sighed.
“Why? I thought you two were getting on well?” She asked.

We were, and that was the problem. I am not supposed to be getting on with Farrah. I am not supposed to treat her differently from everyone else, well a little to get what I want, but not like this.

“We were, but Grandma, Farrah doesn’t need someone like me in her life,” I said, “I will bring her down and break her heart,” I added.

“Shouldn’t that be her choice?” She asked.

“Maybe, but it is too late now,” I shrugged.

I don’t even know why it seems to be bothering me. It isn’t like Farrah means anything to me. Yes, I acted like an asshole today, but I could go back to acting the way I previously was tomorrow and get her to forgive me no bother. I don’t doubt it.

“You are just going to leave it like that?” Grandma asked, “Farrah is a sweet girl, Asher, and even if you do not admit it, I know you enjoy spending time with her. Fix it, Asher,” She added, softly.

“But” I started.

“But nothing my boy,” She said, “You need to let those walls down around you sometime. Not everyone is cruel. Not everyone leaves,” She added.

I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. I didn’t say anything after that because I was done talking about it. My Grandma got up, kissing the top of my head, and headed to the kitchen. She would be going to start on dinner. I wish she would let me help her more. She allows me to cook dinner once a week.

I headed up to my bedroom to get myself showered and changed. I would be heading out after dinner. My plans? Stop by Maisie’s for an hour while her parents aren’t home, and then see the guys for the rest of the night. I just want to forget about the day.

***
I had just finished having dinner with my Grandma and was helping her clean up.

“Take these to Farrah, and apologise to her,” She said, handing me a tub of cookies.

“I have already made other plans,” I said.

“They can wait, go and fix it, Asher,” She said more firmly.

I couldn’t say I don’t know where she lives, because I know, and my Grandma knows too because Farrah told her. I nodded, taking them from her. I don’t plan on going over, but my Grandma doesn’t need to know that. I will tell her she wasn’t home or something. I am not showing up at Farrah’s door with cookies, that is too damn cheesy, and not the sort of shit that I do. I am not going to start doing it now for her.

Once we cleaned everything up, I hugged my Grandma and headed out. I would need to walk because I still don’t have my car. I need to remember to pick it up tomorrow. I decided I couldn’t be assed with Maisie after all. I grabbed my phone to text her.

Not coming over.

I left it at that. It wouldn’t matter what I write anyway. She will nag me anyway. I wasn’t in the mood for her, and her whining. I am sure I can cope without getting laid tonight. She soon texts back.

Fuck you! God, you are such a fucking asshole! I am done with you.

I chuckled, putting my phone away. Maisie has said that to me a hundred times, but she always comes back. I could do without her either way. I could replace her, no bother. It would take me a while to walk to Stuart’s place. I put my earphones. The music can keep company until I get there.

I knocked at his door when I arrived, walking in. I don’t know if his parents were home, but if they were, they wouldn’t mind. I headed to the basement. The closer I got; I hear giggling. Who was that? Stuart didn’t mention anything about girls joining us tonight. I then heard someone else laugh too, and I knew who it was. Fuck! Farrah was here. It would have been nice for Stuart to tell me. Great! This is what I need, not.

“Hey,” I said, entering.

“Hey bro, thought you weren’t coming until later,” He said, “You said you were stopping by Maisie’s,” He added, smirking.

“Changed my mind,” I said.

The other’s said hello to me, well except Farrah. She looked at me, rolled her eyes, and turned back to the screen to the game she was playing. I guess she is still mad at me. I took a seat next to Stuart, sitting the cookies down.

“You couldn’t have told me that Farrah was going to be here?” I whispered.

“What the hell happened with that? Why have you been acting like an asshole?” He spoke.

“I don’t want to get into it,” I shrugged, “Do you have any beer or Scotch hiding in here?” I added.

“What do you think?” He laughed, “Of course I do, check the fridge you will find beer, check under the bed, you will find Scotch and Vodka,” He added.

I am going to need a drink after this. I asked the other if they wanted one, the guys did, Violent didn’t.

“Farrah?” I asked.

“Nope!” She said, refusing to look at me.

I sighed, pouring drinks for us guys, before going back to join everyone.

“I have had enough of this, someone else can have a turn,” Farrah laughed, holding the controller up.

Stuart took it, sitting on the floor with Violet and Lennon. Farrah looked around, going to sit on the chair, so she didn’t have to sit with me. I scooted over on the sofa to the side that was closer to her.

“You still mad at me?” I asked.

“I would need to care to be mad,” She said.

I was a little taken back with what she said. I wasn’t expecting that, and it stung, only a little though.

“Farrah, come on, forgive me already,” I pouted.

“No,” She said, “I did not do anything wrong, and you acted like a complete asshole. Just leave me alone, Asher,” She added.
“Farrah, I am sorry,” I said, reaching for her.

“A little too late,” She said, pulling away.

Hmm, maybe it wouldn’t be as easy to get to forgive me. I will though before this night is up.