Chapter Fifty Eight - Time to talk...

Farrah

I was nervous. Asher and I were talking tonight about what is going to happen after we graduate. I knew in my heart what was going to happen. He would stay here, which I understood for the sake of his grandma.

I pulled up outside of his house and went to the door. I knocked before entering.

“Hello, it is Farrah,” I called out.

“Kitchen, sweetie,” Grandma called back.

I strolled through to the kitchen to see her sitting at the table drinking a cup of tea.

“Hello,” I smiled.

“Please, come sit, and I will get you a coffee. Asher had to nip to the shop. He won’t be long,”

I insisted that she stay where she was. I got my own coffee, joined her at the table, and she slipped me a cookie over. I swear I have put a few pounds on since I started seeing Asher because of grandma feeding me all the time. I don’t mind; a couple of pounds doesn’t hurt since I have always been slim, maybe slightly too skinny for my age.

“How are you?” I asked.

“Honestly, I am not sure,” she sighed.

“Why, what is wrong?”

I worried about her after the fall she had, even though she had been doing great.

“Asher, I know he is going to end up staying here because of me. I don’t want them for him. I want him to be where you are, be able to live his life like a normal eighteen-year-old,”

I could sense she was upset about it.

“Asher wants to take care of you, the same way you did him. You mean everything to him,”

“I understand that, but it is unfair to him. I could get help on. Asher could come back to visit. You both could,” she sighed, “I don’t want to be the reason that you and Asher are separated,”

I reached over the table, rested my hand over hers, and she looked up at me.

“Asher and I will be fine, whether we are together or apart,” I smiled.

I don’t know for sure if Asher and I could make the long-distance thing work, but I need to stay hopeful. I don’t want to worry grandma more than she already is.

“I know you probably would, but you should be together, sweetie.”

I went to reply, but before I could, we heard Asher coming in.

“Please don’t tell him about our talk. I will talk to him myself later,” she smiled.

I nodded, squeezed her hand once more and pulled back. Asher came into the kitchen; the second his eyes fell on me, he grinned. He rushed over to me and kissed me softly.
“Hello, beautiful,”

“Hey, baby boy,”

He put the shopping away and joined us for a coffee. He asked what we had been talking about, but we just made something. I didn’t like lying to him, but at the same time, I will respect grandma’s decision and let her talk to Asher on her own time.

“Are you staying for dinner tonight?” she asked.

“Yes, if that is, OK?”

“Of course, it is. You are always welcome here,” she smiled.

We stayed downstairs for a little while before Asher suggested we go to his bedroom. I felt anxious as he led me upstairs. I lay down on his bed, and he joined me. I rolled onto my side, and he did the same.

He reached in and stroked my face. He went to open his mouth but then changed his mind and closed it again. I knew what he wanted to say, but he couldn’t let the words come out.

“Asher, it is OK. I know you need to stay here,”

I fought back my tears as I said it. It breaks my heart that we will be apart, that we will only probably see each other at the weekends, but him staying here is more important. His grandma needs him more than me.

“Farrah, I am sorry. I want to go with you, but I can’t, not right now,” he replied sadly.

“I get it, Asher, I do. I know you need to stay here. And Chicago isn’t that far away,” I smiled.
“It isn’t exactly close either, Farrah,”

He sighed, ran his fingers through his hair and shook his head. I leant in and played with his hair.

“We will be OK, I promise. Yes, it will be hard, but we will find a way to make it work. I will come back most weekends and holidays, the other ones you can come to me,”

“What if it doesn’t work? What if you meet someone else? Someone older, more intelligent, and better than me? I am so proud of you, sweetheart, for getting into your dream university, so please don’t think I am saying those things to try to stop you from going because I would never,” he said, “I can’t help but worry about these things,”

I thought we were past this, him believing I deserve someone better than him.

“Asher, I love you, only you. Nothing is going to change that. I don’t want anyone else,”

I made sure my voice was stern when I spoke each word. He went to protest, but I didn’t give him a chance because I covered his lips with mine. I pulled back after a minute.

“I only want you, OK? So, please don’t even think that.”

“You promise?”

“I promise, but only if you promise the same thing, Asher,”

I know how many girls would like to get their hands on him, and with me not around, it will be easier for them to do.

“I promise. I only love you, baby girl. No one else in this world could make me feel the way you do. The only girl I need in my life you, and I hope I can have you forever,”

The tears I was trying to hold back escaped.

“Forever?” I whispered.

“Yes, if you will have me,” he smiled.

“Happily, my love,”

I kissed him softly, and he pulled me into his chest. He wrapped his arms tightly around me and kissed the top of my head.

“I love you so much, Farrah,”

“I love you too, baby, more than you will ever know,”

I know it may seem crazy two eighteen-year-olds are talking about forever, but when something feels right, it feels right.

“I am not letting anything get in the way of us, promise,” he whispered.

“I know. We got this,”

“I will miss you so fucking much,”

I could hear the emotions in his voice when he said it.

“I will miss you too,” I whimpered.

We see each other nearly every day, so not doing that will be the hardest thing of all. We have a 50/50 chance of this working, of us spending forever together, but fifty per cent is better than nothing. I have faith in us, and I know Asher does too.

If we both believe the same thing, both willing to make it work and do whatever it takes, then we will make it through. Nothing in life worth it is ever easy. It will take time to adjust.