♥ Chapter 21♥

Elara Sinclair.

I wake up alone in my room, the sheets still retaining the warmth of Axel's absent body. I search the room for any trace of him, but find nothing but a note strategically left under my cell phone.

Darling, I'm sorry I had to leave like this. I had to leave in a hurry to deal with mob matters. I'm sorry I couldn't stay. Furthermore, I hope you have a great class.

Signed: Axel.

An involuntary smile escaped my lips as I read his words. Even though he left in a hurry, he didn't forget to tell me, "How could I not love him? I glance at the clock and realize it's already a quarter past seven. I sigh, it looks like I'm going to be a little late. Furthermore, I get up and walk towards the bathroom, undressing quickly before stepping into the shower.

****

I rush down the stairs, almost losing my balance.

''Hey, don't fall, Elara!'' my mother's soft voice scolds me.

'' Sorry, mom. But I'm late. '' I leave a quick kiss on her cheek.

''What about coffee?'' She shouts as I approach the door.

''I'll buy something on the way, I still have money.'' I reply as I walk to my car, get in and start it.

I let out a tense sigh. It's my first time being late for college. Suddenly, my cell phone starts ringing, and an automatic smile forms when I see that it's Axel.

'' Axel? What's up? I saw the note.

My voice is excited just hearing it.

'' I'm a bit busy, I have to travel. I don't know when I'll be back.

His voice sounds tense.

'' Where are you going?

I ask, worried. A heavy sigh echoes on the other end of the line.

''A mission.

He replies, letting a knot squeeze my heart.

''I want to see you before I leave, is that all right?

Another sigh, and then his reply:

"Yes.

'' I'm on my way.

I end the call abruptly, already changing the route of the car. I don't care about being late for college anymore. Likewise, I need to see him before he leaves.

****

I parked the car and got out, seeing him standing there waiting for me. I approached him quickly, hugging him, and felt immense relief when he returned the gesture.

''You're coming back, aren't you?'' My voice came out shaky, full of fear.

"Maybe." His answer made my heart squeeze.

Maybe? Did that mean he wasn't sure about coming back? I couldn't let him go without knowing how I felt.

'' I love you, Axel! '' I declared, gathering all my courage.

He had kissed me in my room, and that gesture was what filled me with the courage to finally admit it out loud. But when he looked away, I felt a lump form in my throat.

''You shouldn't love.'' He whispered, his voice filled with anguish.

''Why? Tell me why? " I demanded, desperate for an answer.

''Because I'm someone broken, Elara!'' he shouted.

'' And so am I! But that doesn't stop me from loving you, Axel." I retorted firmly.

He looked at me, his eyes struggling with internal conflicts.

'' It can't. I can't, Elara. '' I held his face between my hands.

''You can't what, Axel? I've loved you forever. I'm broken too, Axel, very much so. But you're the one who makes me feel good.

I realized he couldn't articulate a response. I just sighed.

''When you get back, tell me your answer. Whether you love me or not. '' He just nodded. ''Good luck on the mission.

I turned away and held back the tears that were threatening to fall. I got into the car and drove home. Furthermore, I wasn't even going to college anymore, my mind was far away.

Driving slowly, I struggled to hold back the tears. I stopped at a red light and couldn't hold back any longer, the tears finally streaming down my face.

'' Shit! Shit! Idiot! '' I covered my face with my hands as sobs escaped.

Why does it have to be so hard? The pain in my chest is suffocating, even though he hasn't officially rejected me yet.

The sound of horns behind me brings me back to reality. I start the car again and drive home, trying to find some solace in the loneliness of the journey.

****

I enter the house and see my brother, ready to make a joke, but he remains silent when he sees my state.

''Elara, what happened?'' For the first time, he shows genuine concern.

'' Nothing, little brother. I just need to be alone for a few hours. '' I smile weakly and head towards my room. On the way, I accidentally bumped into my father.

'' Elara? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at college? '' He looks at me with surprise. ''What happened?'' He holds my shoulders. ''Has someone done something to you?

Without saying a word, I just hugged him and started crying into his chest. I feel his arms wrap around me tenderly.

''It's all right, child. I'm here.

A few minutes pass, and I begin to calm down, pulling away from him.

''I'm sorry, Dad.'' He nods.

''There's no problem, you're my daughter. It's my duty as a father to comfort you and Orion. '' He runs his thumb over my cheek, wiping away the tears. '' Now, what happened?

'' You know Axel is going away? '' He nods.

''Yes, he has a mission to rescue some women who have been kidnapped. '' I'm surprised by the revelation. '' But what's the problem?

I sigh deeply.

'' I proposed to him, I went to see him. Only he says I can't love him because he thinks he's broken. '' I laugh humorlessly. ''As if he's the only one who's broken.

He lets out another sigh.

''Let him cool off for a while. Axel has suffered a lot, and I know you have too. The two of you are very similar, except that Axel is stubborn. Let him think for a while. '' He holds my face. '' I know he likes you, Elara. We all realize that, so give him space.

I nod.

'' Go and rest.

'' Thanks, Dad. '' He ruffles my hair.

''Take a shower and wash that red face. '' I smile slightly.

'' Right.

I go into my room and go to bed, planning to take a shower afterward. All I want now is to get some sleep; my head is throbbing. When I finally get ready to close my eyes and rest, my cell phone starts ringing. My chest fills with hope, imagining that it might be Axel. But when I see Struk's name on the screen, I feel a twinge of irritation.

I know that if I ignore the call, he'll keep trying. I answer grudgingly.

'' Elara? Why did you miss college today?

This kid thinks he's so great, doesn't he?

'' I didn't feel up to going today, Struk.

I answer impatiently.

'' Oh, I see. I hope you get better soon.

I take a deep breath.

'' Struk, I'm not well. I'm going to hang up.

All right. I hope you get well soon for Saturday.

I frown, confused.

'' What's on Saturday?

'' I'm on my way there. We're going to start our work.

My eyes widen at the information.

'' I didn't agree to that!

I growl angrily.

'' But I'm telling you. I'll see you tomorrow to talk about it. Bye, sweetheart.

He hangs up on me.

'' Fucking darling! '' I growl in frustration, burying my face in the pillow. A knock on the door makes me look up. ''Come in.'' I say, seeing my mother come in.

''Hi, sweetheart. Dante told me what happened. Are you all right?" My mother comes over and sits on the bed.

''Well, I'm not. It just hurts a bit. '' I reply, feeling the comforting warmth of her hands stroking my hair.

''Let him think a bit, Axel is stubborn.

''Maybe he's like that, afraid of my reaction to knowing how much he's suffered. But, Mom, I also suffered in that horrible place. I know Axel must have been through something terrible, but that doesn't mean he can't be loved." I confessed, feeling my heartache.

"I know, my love. But Axel has suffered a lot, give him time. When he's ready, he'll tell you everything.

'' It's okay, Mom. I want to get some sleep, my head hurts.

'' It's all right, dear. Get some rest. '' She kisses my forehead and leaves the room.

I close my eyes and fall asleep quickly, feeling a little lighter after our conversation.