Chapter Seventy-Five
The drive back to the house seemed to blacken his mood further. Kelley's wedding had switched something else in his mind. He couldn't see past the fact that Kelley had done this for all of them, he'd given up a part of his life, a huge part and made a commitment to a stranger. Lee knew he'd never be able to make the choices Kelley had and that made what he was about to do so much worse.
Lee closed the front door behind him softly, the entryway dark and the living room beyond it too. He stood at the bottom of the stairs, knowing he had to talk to Marella but dreading the outcome of the conversation.
“You came home.”
Lee looked up at Marella standing at the head of the stairs in her pajamas. She looked younger with her hair down and the make-up rubbed from her face. One hand had inadvertently gone to her flat stomach and Lee swallowed the rising bile away.
“We should talk.”
“I’m really tired, Lee, and I’m just glad you’re home.”
Lee’s heart broke a little as he took the steps slowly towards her. She reached out her hand and he took it, followed her back into their bedroom and sat down on the edge of the bed. Marella sat down next to him and her hand found his cheek.
“I can’t do this, Marella.”
“Do what?”
“It’s me or the baby. I can’t give you both. I … I lo … You’re my whole life, Marella, but a life with me is without children.”
“Why, Lee? I don’t understand. This baby is half of you and half of me, something we made.”
Lee pushed himself off the bed and raked a hand through his hair. “I don’t want it, Marella. You walked this path without me. You took my choices away from me. I can’t and if you don’t get rid of it then I’m gone.”
“Lee …”
“What do you want, Marella?”
“I want you and I want this baby.”
Lee nodded his head and walked to the cupboard. Marella gasped as he pulled a suitcase down from the top and started putting his clothes in it. Lee ignored her cries as he packed his toiletries in the bathroom, and ignored her hands as they tried to stop him.
“Lee, please …”
“The house is yours, Marella, you always liked it more than I did.”
“Lee, no, don’t leave!”
“I’ll give you whatever you want, whatever you need, except this.”
Lee grabbed the suitcase and walked towards the bedroom door as Marella’s cries became louder and his heart told him to turn around and comfort her but his head remained steadfast and he kept walking as she yelled his name.
Lee looked up at their bedroom window and he felt the emotion threatening to choke him as Marella stood there watching him. He drove away from his home and headed to his other sanctuary. Lee stood at the front door just about to unlock it with his key when it opened.
Mason looked at Lee and then at the suitcase next to him. “You idiot.”
“Does that mean the spare bedroom’s off limits?”
Mason shook his head and opened the front door wider. “You’ll always have a room in my house, Lee, idiot or not, Kelley’s too.”
“I wasn’t about to impose on the newlyweds.”
Mason stretched his arms over his head and yawned loudly. “Kelley’s probably drinking in his study and the poor Milana is in the guest room.”
Lee followed him to the kitchen and sat down at the island counter. “You really think so?”
Mason smiled as he took a bottle of whiskey from the top cabinet and two glasses. “Kelley’s a lot of things but he’d never hurt a woman or do something that’s against her will. He’ll treat her like his wife but he won’t touch her.”
“That’s not what I meant, Mase. I know exactly who and what Kelley is.”
“What about you, Lee? Are you really going to leave Marella to do this alone?”
Lee shrugged. “She made her choice, Mason, she chose that thing.”
“I’m not getting involved but I will be on the sidelines when you realize what you lost and I’ll laugh my ass off when she kicks you to the curb.”
“I’ve already lost, Mason, you can start laughing.”
“Will you be standing aside when some other man swoops in and claims her?”
Lee’s fists clenched and he glared at Mason. “Piss off.”
“I’m just saying, Marella’s a beautiful woman, the fact that she’s pregnant won’t deter everyone. Not all men are freaked out by children.”
Lee grabbed Mason by the front of his shirt. “Don’t talk about her.”
“Break it down for me, buddy, because I really don’t get it.”
Lee let go of Mason who straightened his shirt and sat down again, cracking the seal on the bottle of whiskey and pouring himself a generous helping. “The evil’s in my blood, in my DNA. I won’t have a child and live with the fear that I might hurt him or her.”
“That’s stupid and you know it.”
“It’s not, Mason. I killed my own father and yeah maybe he deserved it but I don’t even remember snapping. When I came back to my senses I had a knife in my hand and he was dead.”
“That doesn’t mean you’ll hurt your own child, Lee.”
“They did, Mason! They hurt me! I’m their flesh and blood and they kept me in a cage for years!” Lee’s voice bounced around the room as he yelled at Mason.
“Okay, Lee, okay. I get it and I’m sorry I pushed. What do you need me to do?”
“You need to keep an eye on her, make sure she’s looked after because I can’t do it.”
Mason nodded his head and then he walked closer to Lee and placed his hand gently on his shoulder. “I will, I promise.”
It took a long time for Lee to fall asleep and his thoughts kept drifting back to Marella. He was an asshole and he knew she probably hated him but he couldn’t take the chance. He’d never be able to live with himself if he hurt her by hurting her child.
