Painful guilt

Josephine POV
I felt so guilty when I noticed sad expression in his eyes,the way his face was downcast, and they way he left, I found myself getting more and more frustrated with myself, I started pacing back and forth, while trying to keep a calm expression, the only thing that matters at the moment, is the thoughts of my man suffering, I don't want anything to happen to him, I tried as much to keep a calm expression, I don't know what else to do, the only thing that would ever matters to me, Is him.
But I have already accepted the condition and there is nothing I can do, I tried as much as much as possible to bring other thoughts in other to forget about our conversation, buy it was difficult.
not knowing what to do, I found myself already trying to head towards the cold weather of the evening,I prayed inwardly while hoping that he's fine, because I don't want anything to happen to him, I thought for a while. Where I tried so hard to be calm,but I just can't.
I then went to sleep, while still thinking of him, I hoped that he was coming to me very soon, I can't really help the thought of loosing the competition for newbie actors, for that reason, I had to try my best to be better and tried to sleep, but slumber was far from me, I kept on changing directions , I curled my legs, feeling the cold breeze as it evaporates the entire environment ,I closed my eyes while hoping to sleep. But the thought of where he had went to came as a dissatisfied feeling.
"Where are Jacob" I asked myself, but deep within I'm feeling so down, the thought of not meeting the man that has come to mean so much to me was not appealing.
I closed my eyes before I eventually doze off.
I the next day, I yawned before I managed to stretch my feeble body, while trying to squint my eyes to the morning Rays, my heart palpitates, the thought of meeting him at this moment, was the only thing that would ever matter to me, I tried as much as possible to forget about everything, Before I managed to stand up.
I took a look at my environment, while hoping to see Jacob, but he was not there and the dreading feeling that I tried to ignore a while ago, was still there, I can't help it, no matter how hard I tried for that reason I tried as much as possible to calm myself down, even though deep Inside I'm feeling scared and hoping that he's save, the thought itself was not appealing to me.
I took a deep breath before I went outside only to noticed that he was actually outside while standing beside the couch, the lingering thought of what happened yesterday, came seeping in, for that reason I immediately went close to him before I engulfed him in a warm hug, he didn't say a word, it was evident that he was still angry with me.
"Don't touch me" he yelled, I was shocked by his outburst, I wonder why he was taking the situation so personal..
"Why are acting this way towards me, you know for the fact I have done nothing wrong" I said to him, he glance at me, before he picked a remote and on the TV.
That's when I noticed that Aiden was already broadcasting that we are getting married very soon and he had to make it specific that after six months we would be getting married.
I cried already feeling nothing but pain, when I watched the broadcast, I couldn't utter a word, because deep within I was disappointed at Aiden, I never he could stoop so low to act the way he did.
" I'm sorry, it was actually a misunderstanding, please don't take it serious" I found myself already pleading, but he ignored me and he left, I felt so heartbroken and I rushed towards him trying to catch up with him he stopped walking and he turned to look at me with a very deadly glare, which managed to bring cold shivers down my spine.
" Why are you following me"
"Because I want us to understand each other, please stop acting this way towards me, you know I have to do this, I'm doing this because of the what I already did" I know he must be confused with what I had said, he then came close to me and cupped my cheeks with his firm palms. He gaze was so intense that it managed to bring cold shivers down my spine.
"I want you to be sincere and honest with me, please don't lie to me and tell me nothing but the truth" he said to me, while trying to take deeper breathes.
"Why did you care if I go out, why did you care if I ignore you? Why did you care if I'm angry with you, tell me why Josephine?" He asked , while still maintaining eye contact with me.
I kept quiet for a while, I don't know how to say it, because I'm not still certain about myself.
"Because I care, that's all I can say" I said awkwardly before I turned to leave, I don't want to look at him deep in the eyes because I'm not brave enough, I know he might detect my inward fears, I just want to be genuinely happy and do things I have always wanted to do, but right now I'm even confused with my emotions.
" Are you sure you do?" He asked, I thought for a while, I couldn't utter a single word, because I don't know how to voice out my vulnerability.
" Did you know how I've not been able to think properly because of what I had been facing, I can't seem to calm my nerves, despite the pain and hurt I'll have to experience every single time in my life, just tell me Josephine and I want you to be real with me, please don't try to hide anything from me, but just be sincere..." He trailed before he walked up to me and asked..
"Would you ever love me?"