Fifty

The meeting the next day was tensed. I didn’t know if it was because Gwenn was back or because she included a Northerner. The army commander she had said and now, there was silence in the war council tent.

“It isn’t right that another commander should be present in the war council. This is a disgrace… it is a…” a commander said, the same commander who has been very loud about his opinions of where my place was, which according to him was warming Orel bed and not standing in his stead.

“It is an honor since this commander will be leading his army to join ours in any fight that will occur.” Gwenn said dismissing the commander rants.

“This should not be done, it isn’t right?” another said as Gwenn levelled her glares on them.

“I have had it with your complaints are if you are noblemen and not warriors. Orel might not be around but he is still the warlord… he never allowed this behavior in his presence, don’t take Lady Themis naivety for granted.” Gwenn grates out as the room went silent. “Commander you should be grateful that Northshore decided to help us and even brought a part of their force no matter the issues that they are having currently as a show of faith that they are willingly to support the agreement they had with Dar. You can show a small part of the appreciation you are feeling for their gesture by keeping your mouth shut.”

Elison snorts at Gwenn statement but Gwenn ignored him. “I learnt that the Warlady has proved herself to you that she is capable of leading, the least any of you could do is make her job easier so that we can concentrate on finding the warlord who is our best chance of ending this war and stopping Dar empire from being destroyed.” Gwenn added.

“In that case, she should step down and spend her time searching for her husband and we will provide her with the resources she needs for her search. Another will take the place of the warlord.” The commander who Orel discipline before said.

“And when Orel comes, he kills that person which is a senseless loss of life. Fine if that what you want, anybody who wants Orel seat should challenge Elison.” Gwenn shrugged and when nobody stood up to place a challenge she continued. “And after winning Elison if you can, I will be your next challenge as I refuse to be ordered around by someone who I can best.”

“Me too, after Gwenn of course.” Olyver said with a grin.

“If you don’t agree with these conditions which are the right ones then I suggest that you shut your mouths and do what is assigned to you by the Warlady because you lost your chance at been warlord okay?”

When nobody said anything, Gwenn nodded. “Thought so. Next business. Finding locations which Orel might be hidden so that we can rescue him.” At her words the commander from Northshore shook his head with a smile.

“What?” Gwenn asks him.

“Nothing your majesty.” The commander said with a bow.


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“We will have to stop here for tonight.” Gwenn said as she stood up to leave me and Elison , she looked like she would have loved to stay… to spend the night going over past memories with Elison … to share her grief and fears of losing Orel forever with Elison but something was stopping her. She had become the queen of Northshore and somehow that seems to have changed her like she had become one of them and to me I felt guilt over it because her decision is a consequence of her being the queen, a position which I practically pushed her to and for what use? I still had my husband taken away from me.

“Why do you always have to go?” I asked her. “You know that you are still a part of us right. You still have a place here.”

“I am more of a part of them now.” Gwenn answered trying to keep her face from displaying the sadness she was feeling like she thought she was an outcast.
“What do you mean by that?” Elison asks as Gwenn cringed and bit her lips like she could not believe the blunder she had just made. I watched her as she prepped herself up to tell a lie, she must have felt like she ought to because Elison, the big brute will not let this issue die, he is always like a dog with a bone whenever Gwenn or Orel were hiding their thoughts, I have noticed this enough to understand why the next words which came out of Gwenn mouth were lies.

“I mean that I am more of them now, after all I am their queen.” Gwenn lied as she made a move to leave.

“Gwenn…” Elison started to protest.

“Please, for the love of all you deem is holy, just stop.” Gwenn answered weakly completely drained. The past few months for her have been nerve wrecking, she is married and one of her closest confident kidnapped, has to lead an army as their queen, staked her claim on her husband to prevent him from being killed, crowned as acting queen, prevent her husband from being killed by his mistress and now Elison was pushing her. “I cannot do this right now. Good night.” Gwenn said and quickly made her escape as I placed a hand on Elison to restrict him from going after her.

“Gwenn is going through a lot, you should not have stopped me.” Elison gritted out in an effort not to snap at me.

“You just said the reason why I did. She is going through a lot, she doesn’t need the added stress you were trying to bring.” I replied softly, I knew how Elison must be feeling currently. Lost, one of his family was missing, and the other came back different. I would have been worried about Gwenn too if I was not already reassured by my dreams that Gwenn will be just fine.

“She needs someone to talk to…” Elison started still not ready to listen. He could not help feeling lost and off his tethered rope, he was practically alone with the way Gwenn was acting. Losing Orel -as much as he tries to project that he is not affected by it- has really affected him.

“You know as much as I do that if she wants someone to talk to, she will talk. She doesn’t want us to pester her now. Give her some time.” I said adding a little force behind my voice which made my tone came out as an Order and I discovered that, that was the wrong thing to do as Elison tightened his shoulder blades as he raised his head to glare at me. I should know better about giving Elison a command concerning Gwenn.

“You mean the same way, you are taking time to give the command for us to go after those bastards that took your husband. Loving your position a little too much Warlady.” He spat out as I tried to hide my flinch but could not.

“You know that I want him back just as much as you do.” I said withdrawing into myself mentally at Ellison’s hurtful words because I was not naïve to think that bit would end there.

“You could have deceived me with the way you take charge these days. Acting like you don’t miss him or want him back.”

“You know that I have to show everybody that I can lead an army. I am doing this so that he will have a place and position to return back to.” I heatedly said getting into Elison face with tears hanging in my eyes, one mention about me missing my husband and I start to feel his absence more keenly.

“Well you have held his place for him… do you even cry anymore when you remember him, do you even still give him much thoughts?” Elison said and when I didn’t say anything he stood up and bowed. “Permit me to take my leave Warlady. I don’t think anybody will attack you since you have shown them what you can do… after all that is what you have been doing.” with that parting shot, Elison turned on his heels and left the tent.

I stayed in my position numbed as tears ran down my cheeks as I remembered moments I spent with my husband. With silent tears, I went to bed, memories to keep me company but not for long because they were soon replaced by the dreams, the tortures I knew was what Orel was passing through. My own personal brand of nightmares. Sometimes, I was him when the dreams starts, other times I was just someone watching the events which I had no control over. This time, I was him. This time I didn’t know what I was feeling. Even when I woke up and felt a weight on top of me, I had not gotten my bearings well enough so I still assumed that I was still in my nightmare…until my clothes was being pulled off.

“Who are you?” I asked with my voice sharp and void of any signs of sleep or the vulnerability I was feeling.

Instead of an answer, a big manly hand covered my mouth as the person weight pressed fully on me, effectively trapping me underneath this person. The person other hand went to my trousers and started to fumble and that was when I began struggling in earnest. This was a wrong night to pick a quarrel with Elison, no one was nearby to hear my scream that is if I could scream.

“You came into my camp and started to boss me around, even when that sad excuse of a warlord was around. Now he isn’t around and you still continued… through his friend. Is that how powerful or golden your cunt is. If so I want a taste to see what Dark powers it wields.”

I recognized the voice as soon as he started talking, I was going to make sure that he doesn’t leave this encounter unscathed. I slowly reached for the dagger which I kept besides me whenever I sleeps since I woke up, Orel was not here to keep me feeling safe anymore… it wasn’t an easy task with the weight that pinned me to the bed. When the man shoved a finger in me, my eyes snapped open as I renewed my efforts to try and unseat him. When he let out a sinister laugh, I realized that even though he succeed in raping me and I doesn’t die, he will kill me.

My fingers curled around the dagger as I bit his hand that unsettled him enough that he shifted his weight off my arms. Using my strength, I shoved the dagger as far as I could into side and then kneeled him in his groin. He released a yell as I fully shoved him off me, I stood up and after gaining my bearings, I knelt beside the man who whimpering on the ground holding his groin and trying his best not to shift the dagger. I looked at the man who shifted away from me and trying to use one hand to sit himself up. As quick as a flash, I had the dagger removed from his side which caused him to release another yell that was shortened when I closed fist rammed into his throat. After that, I backhanded the man and the kicked the wound, the man body jerked at the contact but he could only make tiny sounds.

“You wanted to stay in my tent, you will stay here.” I informed the man.

I began to tie him up close to the beam where the man was trying to get himself into a seated position. After tying the man, I moved back to the furs of my bed and laid down facing away from the man as a show that I was not thinking that he is a challenge to me. Then I called over my shoulders.

“Enjoy the pain, commander because tomorrow after what I will do to you. You will wish that you were dead.” with those words, I closed my eyes and bit my lips to prevent my teeth which were chattering from making noise. I was so scared but I didn’t have the luxury to display that anymore, I had to be strong. I have killed people to prove that I can handle anything thrust my way. What more is surviving and coming out from a rape attempt unscathed and unmanning the man in public to cement my new persona which I have to display to survive this world.