CHAPTER 47 "ONE MORE TRY"

"DO you know how happy I am because we met again?" it was Jason when she remained blushing but staring at him.

Embarrassed Jenny bowed her head to avert her gaze from Jason who at that moment seemed to be absorbing all the energy she had in her body.

"You don't have to always avoid me, Jen," she heard Jason repeat as she remained silent.

Jenny didn't know if it was because of the way she avoided looking at him but it seemed like that was what she saw not only in his eyes but also in the aura of his face and the way he looked at her.

"Because I'm not ready yet," that was the truth so that's what she decided to tell Jason.

The smile that tore from the young man's lips was understandable before he grabbed her hand, lifted it, and kissed it.

"Give it a try, this time with me, and I promise I won't hurt you again," Jason said.

In Jenny's heart, she felt the sincerity of what Jason had said. She could also see in her eyes that what was said was true in her heart that he would not hurt her anymore. But as she said, she was still not ready.

"I-I don't know how to tell you the truth. But really even if you say we are doing that thing already, I still don't seem to have the courage to commit myself into a serious relationship again. I don't know why I became like this and I cannot understand myself either."

"What do you mean?" Jason asked her touching her chin then raised her face.

Jenny shrugged her shoulders. "We're friends Jason, that's what I'm sure of. And if it's just sex, I hate to say this but, I think if it's you, it's okay with me," she didn't know where she took the courage to say that.

"Seriously?" Jason asked her in a tone of disbelief.

That was when the young lady bowed his head again and answered. "I also don't understand myself. Right now I don't want commitment," she admitted then after a while did not speak anymore.

Jenny silently stared at the burning candle she had placed on Ara's grave. While asking herself what is really going on with her and why is she behaving like that?

Maybe she has a trust issue?

Jason had hurt her so hard before and she endured it for a long time. Now or more correctly to say recently, what happened to her and Ryan was another thing that tormented her.

"Maybe you can't blame me, I'm sorry," she didn't know what her apology was for but she had no regrets that she did it.

That was when Jason gave her a sad stare and that unexpectedly affected her as well. "Jen, that's not you, is it?" he squeezed her hand that he remained to hold.

Jenny laughed softly at what the young man said. “Maybe, but I know at the right time I will also return to the way I used to be, I mean the real me,” she said in a tone full of anticipation.

When she said that was when she saw the aura on Jason's face lit. At the same time, a sweet smile tore from his lips.

"But give me a chance, please? I know I'm one of the reasons why your heart has changed so if you'll allow, I'll fix it myself and I'll try to figure out how to get it back to normal."

In his tone, Jenny felt that every word Jason said came from his heart which gave her a sweet smile.

If you only knew how I wanted to continue whatever we had before...

Those were the words Jenny wanted to say but she chose not to. In all that had happened, she knew that no matter how many times she had given herself to Jason, she was not yet ready to enter into a new relationship.

It may be confusing but that's how she feels. She is no longer mad with Jason because apart from the fact that she had long since forgiven him, she is okay with whatever they have now. With her last thought, Jenny was stunned.

Isn't that why she's like this now? Because she is contented with everything that is happening between the two of them?

At that point, Jenny decided to observe what she truly feels inside her. Then her brain denied any possible truth that seemed to be there, in her heart.

"Jen?" Jason whispered to her again when she remained silent after a while.

The young lady nodded. "Okay," she replied.

"Okay?" the young man's seemingly confused question to her.

Then Jenny smiled and shook her head. "Aren't you asking for a chance?" she said.

"So that means you agree? It's okay with you if I started courting you again?" Jason asked her in a very cheerful tone.

And that can't be denied because of the beautiful gleam in his eyes. Even the clear aura of the young man's face.

"You look just as determined. Just in case, can I stop you?" she asked the young man while an amused smile seemed to be plaster on her lips.

But deep inside Jenny also couldn't deny the strange kind of thrill like small currents of electricity tickling her heart repeatedly.

"Actually you're right, I have no plans to give up on you, not today, not ever. I told you didn't I? You were mine then, now, and forever."

In the last sentence Jason said, Jenny couldn't help but be affected. She quickly felt the warmth on both her cheeks.

"Thank you," she replied instead.

But in her heart, Jenny knew she still had a lot to say. The problem was she just didn’t know how to do that.

It was only a matter of time before the two of them left. But since they were both hungry, she didn't refuse when Jason invited her to eat.

*****

In Another Lifetime...

"DANIEL, what happened to Jenny? Why did she become like that?" Ara's sad question to her husband as she watched Jason and Jenny walk away from that place.

"Because she's hurt," Daniel told her then put his arm around her.

"But doesn't she feel that Jason loves no one but her? Maybe after her, there have been so many women, but all of them were unable to replace her in Jason's heart," she insisted then sadly looked up at the handsome face of the man she loved the most.

Daniel smiled. "She could feel it, but there are times when the heart gets hurt it changes. Just as the mind's outlook on life also changes. But believe me, she could feel, she's just blinded or scared and that's what Jason needs to get change from her," Daniel explained to her.

At what Daniel said, Ara's gaze again followed Jason and Jenny who were about to get into the car. If only she could do something, if she wasn’t a ghost, if she was still alive, she knew she could fix them.