Dread what we know

**Dayle**

“Come here,” 

I embraced her, offering as much support and comfort as possible. 

Whatever you said to her was nothing. Chrissy isn't a person, she is the kindest soul I know. 

“You are the kindest soul I know,” I said to her out loud, saying thesesthings in my head wasn't enough. 

Hearing her sob almost silently broke me, I hated to see her tears or see her sad. All I wanted to do was make her feel better. 

“You heard them, I only ruined his life —” 

“And I’m telling you that you are not someone who thinks lives. For a fact, you better lives, you made mine something I can be proud of. I love who you are and what you are, my love. Do not let this break you, okay?” I said, breaking our hug softly as I cradled her face.

Her teary face gave me the urge to kick Egan’s mom to the curb, but I respect her and I will let this one time slide because of our friendship and Chrissy.

“Don’t tell me you got shitfaced?!” I teased as she pulled a smile, weary and innocent. 

I wiped her tears with my palms, while she breathed in and out, calming her nerves. 

“It's going to be okay, my love! Don't worry,” I assured her placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. 

Soon, Steve walked up to us hurriedly as I assisted Chrissy to sit while I talked to him. 

“I’ll be right back!” I said to her and moved away. 

I met Steve as we shook hands and hugged swiftly. 

“What happened? I was trying to reach you, dude!” he began as I sighed, rubbing my temples. 

“My bad, it was on silent. Mistakenly.” I explained briefly but his deep gaze indicated something else, he wanted more details about Egan. 

“His mother called me and that was how I knew and I at least expected that you would hint at me,” he snapped as my jaws tightened, trying to look for the right words to make him understand that I just found out as well. 

“Chriss left a note that she had an emergency here. I got to read it this morning. When I came in, I found out that it was Egab who got into an accident that seemed planned. Sources have it that he drove into a moving truck,” 

“What the fuck?” he snapped, his brows squeezing firmly. “Why would he do something like that though? That cannot be true, he wouldn't murder himself on purpose,” he retorted as I looked away. 

As confusing as the situation seemed, I didn't know how to handle it either. 

Seriously, why would he hurt himself?
The same question lingered in all our minds. 

“That’s not the only thing at the moment, did you know that he was cancer positive?” I asked.

Steve’s lips parted to speak as he refrained, purposefully letting his words hang somewhere in his guts. 

However, his silence said one thing; he knew. 

“You knew?” I asked, I didn't want to be right but I seemed otherwise. 

“He didn't want anyone to know—”

“Fucking hell, dude!” I interrupted. 
Not yelling, I was just frustrated and disappointed at the situation and mostly myself. “How long?”

“A week ago,” he said, barely voicing out. 

“How could you not say something? We've been together most of the time and you kept this to yourself?” I asked, at least it wasn't appropriate that he didn't tell me. 

“No you tell me, you've been the one cocky, angry, and bitter the whole time. He didn't want to add it up after everything that happened. Just like you, I was mad that he didn't say a word to me or anyone except his Mom and Dad. Then Nova,” he explained, how voice dropping. I looked away, I didn't know how to contain the shame and distress. 

How did we not know? Was I too angry to notice? How did I not pick a thong or two? Yeah, he fucked shit up, but he lived with me for over a week, how did I know something at all?

“Blame’s on us somehow! We were too engrossed to notice…” Steve said as he rubbed his face across. “Regardless, how could we have known?” he said, raking his hair this time. 

“No, that's not an excuse, dude. We saw the signs and mistook them for… growth and loner aesthetic or whatever the fuck it is called,” I blurted out, feeling the pang of pain in my chest as my hands formed into fists, my head spinning in endless circles. “I mean, he returned a changed person. Cold and distant. We know Egan, he's usually energetic, happy, and sky but things changed. He became different,” I pointed out as I pocketed my hands, confused that the signs were right there and we ignored them. 

Definitely, Steve was thinking the same. 

“Fuck, I hate to admit it but… those were obvious signs.” Steve managed to say as his gaze broke contact. “How could we betray our friend?” he asked again. I didn't have the right answer to give or justify our actions. 

Immediately, Chrissy’s colleague took Chrissy with her as they rushed into Egan’s ward. 

Dayle and I stared at each other questionably and back to the ward where his mother and Nova stood, holding themselves—more like comforting themselves. 

“Do you think that… he's awake?” asked Steve and I shrugged, not sure what to say anymore. 

“I pray that he is,” was all I could afford to say. 

Steve’s phone began to ring at that moment. 
He met my gaze with a perplexed look, “It's Maggie,” he said, his voice mixed with frustration and shock. 

Yeah, I also didn't think that she would call him after how he acted like a dick. 

“Go ahead man, talk to her. You'd need it. I’ll just go over there,” I shifted my gaze to Egan’s ward and back to him. He nodded and moved feet away, pressing his cell phone to his left ear. 

We moved closer to the ward. Keeping a safe distance from Egan’s mother and Nova. 

However, he was my best friend and I understood that she was concerned about her son but it didn't warrant her to insult Chrisdy like a fucking black sheep. 

Still, I couldn't just ignore her. She's like a mother to me and Egan would treat my mother kindly as well. 

Bracing up, wrapping my patience into a safe bottle that wouldn't run out anytime soon as I walked up to them.

What should I do? Talk? Pat her? What exactly. 

“Mrs. Montez—”

“You don't have to,” she interrupted me without staring at me. She pulled away from Nova’s embrace and that was when I realized that Nova’s men were present and keeping a safe distance. 

Egan’s mother shot me an angry look that failed to mask her feelings. 

“You know how terrible she is but you clung to her,” she said, leaving me confused but not speechless. 

“I cling to her ‘cause she's a sweet girl. I'm sorry but you can't blame Chrissy for your son’s mistakes,” I said then she struck my face, her frown thicker than blood. 

I don't care, I said what I said without feeling shame, I told myself. 

“Foolish boy!” she let out angrily, her gaze was tight and sharp. “Who sticks to a girl that plays two brothers?” she asked. “Egan loved and respected you. If at all, you stole from him but I’m not mad because Egan deserves better than a whore—”

“I’m this close to making your day worse if you keep talking bad about my girl,” I stated behind gritted teeth, pinching the air swiftly. I could taste my rage, something she could never stand or endure. 

My throat was sore, my gaze was dark and my mind was clogged with instant hatred. 

“Leave her!” Nova firmed chimed in but I was still planted in my spot as she spoke up again. “It's an order,” she added, firmer than she had earlier stated. 

I scoffed and swiftly rubbed the tip of my nose, forcefully absorbing her bullshit title.

Chrissy ran out of the room, her eyes were teary, making all our hearts jump. 
Before I could reach out to her, she had taken a turn and almost five seconds later, she returned with a doctor as the doctor rushed into the ward again, listening to none of us. 

Chrissy’s hand rested on the handle, her teary gaze meeting mine as she looked away, leaving my thoughts mixed, colliding, and drowning in oblivion and the worst. 

“What happened? Where's my son? Is he okay?” Egan’s mother plunged the silence. 

I fear that what we dreaded might come to pass.