Chapter 66

***Chrissy***

~
I swear in my fucking life that I've never seen Dayle this mad and unstable. He's totally out of control. I know that I've said mentioned something like this but this is worse. He is wild and out of control. My room is a fucking mess but good thing that Dom contacted me for some replacements.
I feel damned right now, I regret the insults I rendered on him, he didn't deserve it—at least it doesn't guarantee the shitty words I called him. He’d never refer to me in such a manner.
I'm tempted to see him, he is in one of the empty rooms upstairs. I'd let him cool off that’s if he would, I doubt it. He looked very angry at me, I saw the frustration in his eyes, I see the anger in his eyes, his voice—he’s not who I know. He's different. I should have gone to such extremes.
This whole thing leaves unanswered questions, I had to end things out of anger—he went too far with his demands. Fuck! My fingers dig into my hair furiously while sit next to my bed. This hurts more than I assumed, I just realized that I can't even afford to be away from Dayle, I didn't know that I had gotten used to him to this extent. I don't know know how he overrode my mind, I just can't spend an hour without the thought of him creeping in and filling every space of my being.

It hadn't been long since Egan and I talked over the phone, he called to know if I'm doing well, and he furthered to ask after Dayle and I just told him that Dayle has fallen asleep instead. I can't tell him about the ugly scene with Dom and the other men, Egan would worry and drive down here. The last thing Iast thing I want is more dramas. Not that I don't love Egan but you know the mystery behind your first love, it's on a different lane—at least for me it's entirely different. My phone starts ringing, I grab it and take a look—It’s Mom. I knew that she'd call after all, I know that I couldn't escape it. Dad had called earlier than now, he's very worried but he assures me of his return tomorrow. Honestly, I'm confused. I don't know what I want, I just want to hear them tell him that he's over the earlier clash, let's just walk past all of these and be like we've been for the past few days now.
“Mom,”
“What happened baby, I was worried over you two—Dom told me everything. Are you okay? How's he? He's not returning or answering my calls!” Mom says with concerns
“I... He... We are fine! He's in... He doesn't wanna talk to me or anyone, I'm worried!”
“That sounds ugly! Did you both have an argument or something because Dom thinks—”
“We didn't argue... We just had a misunderstanding... About... Over some school stuff... We can handle it!” telling Mom all this crushes me the more knowing fully that I can't share this matter with anyone. Not even Ken. He’d kill me. He's on his way—he texted.
“Don’t worry, your father and I will land as early as 10 am. Be calm okay, be that strong baby I raised. Be orderly, okay? Take good care of your brother too! I love you!” says Mom, I can picture her face right now.
“Yes Mom, I love you too Mom!” I hang up.

*
Striding out of the building with Bobby behind me, it sucks but I have to bear it regardless. What's the purpose of this drastic security?
I see Ken leaning on his car staring at me questionably. He starts to laugh at me sarcastically. Bobby steps two feet away from it, that's fair enough. Ken and I share tight hugs, every time that we are apart, we act like we've been apart for ages. He's been busy these past few days.
“I've missed my stud muffin! I fucking swear that this new establishment sucks. I can't fucking see you any time I want—no one told me this part of the deal!” he says but I know that he's only teasing. He's right after all.
“I'm sorry honey, it sucks too!” I add, “Let's go in—”
“Nah, I have to leave soon too. Ariana and I are supposed to hang out...” he says calmly and I nod lightly rubbing my neck. “Is my stud muffin jealous now?” he teases snuggling my cheek playfully. We both lean on his car while he observes me closely.
“I hate the way you look, Chriss, what's with this house anyway? You've been restless ever since and I'm fucking uncomfortable with the way things are going. You were not like this,”
“How am I then?” I lazily ask but he rolls his eyes knowing that I'm only pretending. “I... I'm adapting pretty, I just... I just miss you! We don't hang out like we used to and...”
“What's he doing to you?” he asks.
“What... What do mean you by that?”
“You know what I mean! You know Dayle—”
“He's been nice to me as far as I can remember, Ken, stop being sentimental! Dayle is not what you think, he's more than that! In a very good way!” I explain to Ken, the looks on his face are trying to decide whether or not to believe me.
“Okay. Anything you say, I'll fucking agree!” he says sarcastically, I punch jos arm lightly and we both crack up. “Are you showing up tomorrow? Tell me if I need to pick you up!”
“You’re sweet. I'll show up most definitely, I hate to be behind!”
“That's what happens when you overstudy. You are on fucking default Chriss, one day seems like a problem to you!” he teases. “I want to discuss something with you once you come around, I think it's important and you have to know!” says Ken in a subtle voice
“You sound very serious—”
“That’s because it's important.”
Ken leaves me in thoughts delving in and out of my mind, and I can not place my hand on what exactly. I wave goodbye before he drives off.

*
11:44 pm,
I can't fall asleep not when I'm aware that Dayle isn't fine. It's hard to get a distraction, Molly and Ellen aren't helping, and our discussion is centered on Amber’s party. Although, Molly had asked after Dayle and how she's been trying to reach him—she’s concerned but I told her that Dayle is asleep and is most likely to respond to her by morning. I have tried to see a movie, study, or even listen to some music but it didn't help.
I step out of bed to rather get a drink downstairs, maybe it would help.
When I enter the kitchen, I see Brenda tidying up the counter and sink. She turns to me with a smile.
“Do you need anything, ma'am?”
“Oh no, I uh... I just need some coffee, that's all!”
“Okay, I'm on it—”
“Oh no, I'll prepare it myself. It's only coffee, I can handle it! Please let me,” I tell her but she's insisting but then I insist as well.
“Good night ma'am, I hope you wake up much stronger! Please rest!” she tells me and I nod affirmatively with a smile.
“Of course! Rest well too!”
She storms off. I turn to the coffee maker to prepare a cup. After I'm done I sit by the counter, it's relaxing which reminds me of Nina—I missed her.
A minute later, Dayle comes into the kitchen to grab a bottle of whisky, isn't that too much to drink for tonight? I ask only in my head. He shuns me still. He turns to the cupboard to grab a glass of whisky, he is very close to me now and the pain of not reaching him still hurts me.
“Dayle, um... Do you need me to help with something?” I ask him but it's just like I asked a fly to flee but wouldn't flee, he's not listening. He grabs the glass and bottle attempting to leave and that's when I grab his arm. He stares at me in astonishment.
“You are ignoring me—”
“Let go!” he grimaces but I hold him firmly, if he's going to hit then so be it. He's more perplexed since I'm not letting go.
“I just want to talk to you—”
“Well, I don't want to talk to you!” he snaps angrily, I'm startled that he might overreact but then I hold him still.
“You should talk to me and not ignore me, It’s... It's—”
“It's what you fucking wanted, isn't it? I'm giving you what you asked for! The fucking space you want!” he almost raises his voice at me but instantly presses it down with a scoff. “I got to go, I... I want to be alone... I—I don't wanna hurt you, I gonna hate myself forever!” he tells me as my hands slowly fall off.
I take a step backward while my eyes water instantly, swallowing up the lump in my throat. It hurts. Is it the invisible lump or his words?
What have I done?
I use the back of my hands to wipe my eyes, I have to meet him, this is so much to handle.