Chapter 90

***Chrissy***

~
I have knocked but there isn't a response and so I'm forced snake my way into his room as late as 11:23 pm. I scan the large room but he isn't there. I hear voices coming from the parent’s room—they must be arguing over what had happened, I have no idea what has happened.
I further to the living room downstairs but Dayle isn't there except for Dom and Bobby conversing deeply. Everyone seems to be discussing a thing or two recently. It's disturbing. I head out of the building but a security starts following me. I have no strength right now. I'm focused on finding Dayle. I roll my eyes and proceed th search. I turn to the man.
“Where is Dayle?”
“By the pool, ma'am.” his deep voice sounds louder in my head than in physical. The men around here are just robots in human bodies. Always professional.
“Okay, thanks!” I snap veering in the direction of the pool. I catch a glimpse of him, he's drinking and smoking in turns.
A sudden grips wraps my heart, I feel very bad for Dayle, I swear.
I'm not even mad about the list right now. This is lore critical. No one is telling me the outcome of things, not even Mom. Mom and Dad are not in a good talking term as well.
I move closer while the security lags behind. Better. Dayle’s legs are inside the water while he's seated on the cemented area. I watch him smoke his cigar, you could tell that it's rather an escape for him but looking into his brown eyes you could also tell that he's not okay. He's not vibrant as he used to be. I want to help him in any way I can. Whether or not he yells at me too.
The first step I take is sitting next to him. How doesn’t even give a fuck, he's fixated on the thing he's doing. I swallow up the lump in my that knowing that the anxiety in my system would soon embarrass me.
“I don't how you feel but I want to be there for you, you don't have to be alone—”
“You know no shit, just shut it!” he scowls at me angrily but I'm not startled. I've been in the this type of situation before. I pause for a second or two to take a deep breath.
“Dayle, I'm worried sick! I can't stop thinking about the situation—what can I do to ease it? Tell me, I'll do anything—”
“Don’t wanna talk!” he snaps without looking in my direction. “Just leave!”
“I won't, I wish that I could but I can't! You saved me back there—it couldn't be anyone but you.” I tell him but it feels like I'm making a mistake. After he necks down the alcohol I snatch the bottle away from him. He's infuriated. He smokes the cigar and I do the same thing tossing them into the pool in front of us. He's very enraged. He finally looks my way, I guess that if I weren't one then he would have gone ballistic, it's quite obvious. He stares at me breathing heavily, now this reaction puts me on the edge but I'm certain that I haven't done anything wrong by taking away the bottle of alcohol and cigarette. His breathing finally stables into a calm one, he looks away from me now gazing into the pool. I take his hand into mine caressing him gently. I do wish that I could take his pain away, it hurts me to see him this way.
“You... You shouldn't be here, Chriss!” I hear that same whisper voice from earlier.
“I should be here with you Dayle, even if it's for a minute. I can't ignore the fact that you're badly hurt,” softly, I tell him and he gives me a very sad smile. I appreciate the smile compared to earlier—he looked like he could have ripped my head off my body. “Let me share your pain Dayle, let it out!” I add calmly and he sighs in distress.
“Nineteen years of my life has been a lie. Uncertainty.” he starts calmly as if he can't continue but he furthers regardless. “I thought that it would end when Dad told me that I'm not my mother's son—I thought that I could cope but it's not the same anymore. I have a different father. I'm not my father's son either...” he says, I'm shocked at his words—my hand is around my mouth. I don't want to panic. ”I've been unfair to Dad severally—I admit—but do I deserve all of these things? Should it be me, Chriss?” he turns to me and I see his eyes filled with tears to the brink of it. He's trying to hold them back but it's not going to last long.
“I'm so sorry,” I almost whisper, “I had no idea...” I add.
“What if I'm truly not Owen’s son? What will become of me afterwards? The dick of a man got nabbed by the cops and there you have Freya—she’s mad—a fucking lunatic. She's probably in the rehab. Again. How is it possible that my biological are a bunch of shit—”
“Dayle—” I try to interrupt his rage but he interrupts instead.
“A set of rogues!” he yells, he's breathing hard again. “How do I accept them? I won't. I fucking can't!” he adds in an angered tone. “Chriss... I just wanna be told that I'm not right and it's all a dream... Wake me up—” he breaks down in tears. I pull him to my chest and for the first time in my entire life I hear Dayle cry like he's not the hard guy that I know. He rests his head on my chest while I hold him like a child—in my embrace.
I get emotional as well, there's no way I could be stronger than he is even if that's what it should be.
“Dayle, you’ve got to be strong. You're better than this, no one is taking you away from us—from me, I can't do without you and so I need you to be strong. If not for anyone, DO it for me.”
I break down in tears silently, I repeatedly remind myself that I have to be strong. I need all the strength that I would need to be there for Dayle.
I'verealized how much he meant to me until he was taken away, I couldn't make the right decisions. I couldn't speak for myself. I got defeated within the span of hours that he wasn't around, I lost myself, I lost everything that could hold me up. I was helpless in school, if he was present then he'd be there to let me know that I didn't need their approval. Dayle means a lot to me, more than I know.
I love him. I love him so much, like my life depends on him—now it is proven that my life is empty without him.
I should be there for him, he needs me, he's always been there for me regardless of our brawls. Flashed of the time we started he started noticing me to this very moment plays in front of me like I'm in a movie room.
I didn't know that I'm a total loser without Dayle when it's about my heart—holding up. I feel his hand on mine but his words are swallowed up within him, and me too.

*
After a couple of minutes of pondering, I feel his heated skin.
“Let's get you inside, you're putting up a temperature—you are not well!” I tell him but he shrugs off lifting himself off of me.
“No Chriss, it's just the weather. I'm... I'm fine.”
“You are not!” I tell him defiantly. “I'll get Dom to get the doctor,”
“No, Chriss. I don't need a doctor, I just need some time—”
“No Dayle, I disagree!” I rise to leave.
“I'm gonna get mad at you, Chriss!” he weakly grimaces at me.
“That was cute and I'd rather you get mad!” I scowl at him but I don't mean it. He weakly smiles. I assist him as he rises, I wrap my hand around his arm since I can't carry him. His tall figure still engulfs and now it seems like I'm the sick one. Our pace is slow which only confirms that the guy whom I love with my life is not well.
“You’re not well, Dayle!” I tell him under my breath.
“You’re such a drama, I don't need a doctor or whatsoever!” he calmly says. It is now that I realize that the security man behind us is no longer there but now I see him scurrying in our direction. Another security comes along taking Dayle from me, they both take him into the house while I follow from behind.
Dayle is the death of me, I don't know what I would have done if he didn't return. It's worse now since we all don't know what will be the outcome of the DNA result. I'm sure that he meant that when he mentioned something that had to do with tomorrow. I've heard Mom and Dad talk about something like that. This is so much to handle.