Icaro's Thoughts
Icaro re-entered the villa and noted Vodingo standing in the open foyer. “Why are you here and not out doing your job?”
“Because I want to find out why the hell, you’re not ending this shit with Sveva Gallo with a bullet? I went from ordering my men to shoot to kill to telling them to capture and return her to her father with a warning. She is a security threat. I sent you the video from the yard.”
“Zorah doesn’t want her dead.”
“Then lie to her and say she’s alive and kicking but let me end her. You trust me to keep you safe Icaro and yet you are arguing with my directives.”
“I do not want to lie to my wife and furthermore, the minute I do, that oversized bastard will be telling her what I did and then I’m ten steps back.” Icaro paced the terrazzo tile furiously. “Why on earth is he being so difficult?”
“I’m also at a loss and I’ve started my investigations into him as you requested,” Vodingo gave a sigh, exhaling loudly through his nose. “I think he’s up to something but what it is I don’t know.”
“Find out. I cannot have him causing more stress in my already fragile marriage.”
“Surely it’s not so fragile, Icaro.”
“My wife is suicidal, Vodingo. I heard her tell my mother she does not love me and dreams to leave me. I stole a peak Saturday into her notebook from the priest and he told her last week to right positive attributes about herself and to recognize when she is doing good. One page. My wife wrote one page of her good qualities. She hates me. She hates being with me. The constant women in her face, the violence, the staff speaking against her at the farm, all have made things worse.”
“She is still speaking of dying?” Vodingo was focused on the first thing Icaro said. “Sidonia said this was something which came and went relatively quickly in the past. She seems to think this should pass.”
“She wants to leave me, Vod.” He looked through the house towards the beach.
“What are you thinking?”
“I may let her.”
Vodingo staggered backwards at the comment. “What?”
“I love her. My ego believed she would fall in love with me easily. I told you boldly I’d have her eating out of my palm in thirty days. We are halfway there, Vodingo and she loathes me. Being with me is hurting her.”
“Do you think sending her back to Providence Rhode Island is going to be what is best for her? The minute she steps back into the state her uncle is going to be after her.”
“I am contemplating offering her an opportunity to start over wherever she wants in the world. I will keep her safe from a distance, but I will give her enough money and security to live the life she chooses.”
“You have got to be kidding me!” Vodingo was gripping the edge of a door frame, his knuckles white. “Sidonia will demand to go with her.”
“I will make sure she understands she is not to pressure Sidonia. This is an offer for her and her alone.” He paused, “I believe she is already thinking of running away without Sidonia anyway.”
“You have waited so long for her, Icaro. She is your one.”
“She is my one and I would do anything for her.”
“Where is this coming from?”
“I spoke with Father Tarantino yesterday. He asked if I was loving my bride selfishly or unselfishly and reminded me, I’ve been impatient in wanting things to go according to my plan.”
“He is old and has never been with a woman. What does he know?”
“He knows enough I am listening to him.” Icaro straightened his spine. “I have twenty years to prepare my heart for Zorah and I didn’t. She has endured two weeks and all she’s been given is excuses and pain. I keep hurting her and it needs to stop.”
“You will lose her.”
“If setting her free and allowing her to choose to come to me on her own results in her never coming back, then it will be my cross to bear. It is not anything you would need to worry about.”
“Except I’ll be cleaning up your messes, Icaro. Your bloodlust –”
“Is my problem, not hers. I cannot hold Zorah accountable for my shortcomings.”
“This is ridiculous,” Vodingo kicked the edge of the door. “You are breaking your own heart and for what?”
“To save hers. To save hers from breaking. She never asked for this.” Icaro felt his chest aching with the pain from the idea of her leaving him but in his opinion, it was better for her to be somewhere with him keeping her safe from a distance than her running straight into danger.
“I think you are a fool.”
“I was a fool for twenty years. I am finally gaining clarity.”
“When do you plan to have this conversation with her?”
“I will give it one more week. If her mood has not improved over the next week, if the suicidal thoughts and the hateful glances she shoots my way when she thinks I’m not looking haven’t ceased, then I will sit her down and offer her the opportunity to relocate anywhere she wants.”
“You are making a mistake.”
“I am proving to my wife my love is unconditional. I don’t need her to love me for me to love her. What is the old saying? If you love someone, set them free.”
“Bullshit.” Vodingo grunted at him. “If you love someone you show them you love them and make them understand you won’t give up. This sounds to me like you’re giving up, throwing in the towel because it’s not going the way you want it to. You’re a quitter. She’s going to think she’s not worth fighting for.”
“She is going to know I love her enough to not make her a prisoner in a relationship she doesn’t want.”
Vodingo pushed past him and Icaro watched him leave to go to his own villa. He knew his friend was worried his own wife would want the same thing he was thinking of offering Zorah. However, he was focused solely on his own relationship.
His wife didn’t want to be with him, and it was his own fault. His talk with the priest the day before highlighted the selfishness of his own actions. Icaro already felt so much regret about the way he’d lived his life before Zorah but his behavior since their wedding was driving her away according to the older man.
If letting her leave kept her alive, then he would make it happen. He would rather his wife alive and away from him than dead and gone forever.
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