Packing
The following week Benita was helping Zorah pack up her belongings to take with her to the villa in Catania. They were leaving in the morning and Zorah was forced to admit, she was probably going to miss life on the farm.
Each night Icaro would hold her in his arms but never tried anything. Each morning, he was gone to work in one area or another of the farm. Avaline would collect Zorah after breakfast, and they would go to the gardens and select herbs and lettuces and early tomatoes for the cooks for the day.
One of the cooks even taught Zorah how to make pasta the Sicilian way, as he called it. They’d served it for lunch with a rich tomato sauce and lots of basil freshly picked from the gardens.
She’d started to relax here and there was still so much she hadn’t done yet, but Icaro reminded her they could come back anytime she wished.
Holding her little booklet in her hand from Father Tarantino, she thought of the priest and knew she would miss him as much as Nonno and Nonna. His sermon during the mass she’d attended was one centered around having patience, not only for others but for oneself and why it was important to not rush into decisions without taking time to pray.
In his counseling session with her, Father Tarantino asked her to continue writing down her positive attributes but then he asked her to add to it and document the times she was feeling less than adequate and why. He also gave her a scripture to memorize and to recite to herself when she was feeling overwhelmed. She was truly going to miss his guidance, and his protection.
True to The Walrus’s prediction, in church, two women did indeed attempt to get close to Icaro who’d accompanied her to mass. Thankfully with the priest, Avaline, Dagoberto and Nonno and Nonna beside her, the women were quickly shut down. Zorah made a point to take Icaro’s hand and shooting polite smiles to both women. He hadn’t released her hand even once after she’d grabbed it for the duration of the service. Icaro then surprised her by attending confession after mass and he was very solemn for the remainder of the day.
This morning his side of the bed was cold when she’d been awakened by Benita who told her Icaro ordered her breakfast in bed before having to begin packing up her things.
“I understand you told Mr. Lucchesi you didn’t want me to come with you,” Benita said quietly. “Have I offended you?”
“No.” Zorah shook her head.
“Then why?”
“I don’t need a personal caretaker. I do nothing all day. I’m a boring housewife who sits in the gardens and does nothing at all. The few things I can do for myself, I’d rather do than have someone else do it. It’s nothing personal, I simply don’t see the need.”
“I see.” Benita folded a dress into the suitcase, “but what about things like this?”
“I am going to Catania and then we’re going to New York. I’m not jet setting all over the world.” She sighed, “Benita, your husband is Dagoberto’s driver. You should stay here with him.”
“Icaro would reassign him to –”
“It’s unnecessary. Stay with your family here.”
“But –”
“Benita, I simply do not need another one of the Lucchesi brides in my face telling me how wonderful it is to be loved by them. Is this a satisfactory enough answer? All week long, every conversation you and I have shared involves you pleading Icaro’s case and encouraging me to open my heart and frankly, I’m sick of it. I don’t want to open my heart. I don’t want to be a Lucchesi bride. I don’t want to have a man be supernaturally forced to love me and I sure as hell didn’t ask for one who knew of me since he was a teenager and chose to degrade himself and me by sleeping with as many women as he has. Even Icaro realizes how awful his behavior was, yet you continue to praise him like he’s the answer to my every hope and prayer. Frankly Benita, you’re biased, partial and I’m tired of it.”
Benita’s eyes filled with tears at the sharp rebuke from Zorah.
“What is going on in here?” Avaline’s voice carried into the room.
“Benita was questioning why I declined having a personal attendant come with me to Catania. I let her know I wasn’t in need of one, but my answer wasn’t sufficient. She pushed me and I told her I’m tired of her trying to indoctrinate me into the Lucchesi cult.”
“Zorah,” Avaline gave a sigh, “Benita means no harm.”
“She is trying to force me to do something my own husband is not forcing me to do. Why should I be subjected to her whispers every single time she follows me from one room to another?”
“Benita, please go help the girls in the kitchen. I will assist Zorah with the remainder of her packing.”
Avaline sat on the edge of the bed and patted it. Zorah sat beside her stiffly, staring straight ahead.
“I’m going to miss you, daughter.”
“I will miss you as well.”
“I feel we got off to the wrong foot and this past week wasn’t enough time to put us back on track. I wish Icaro was not so desperate to go to Catania so quickly. If you told him you wanted to stay, he would –”
“I’m the one who asked to leave.” Zorah cut her off.
“Why? You don’t like it here?”
“I love it here, Avaline. I love Nonno and Nonna and you and Dagoberto and I feel peace when I’m out in the gardens.”
“Then why are you so quick to leave us?”
“Because I love it here,” she said simply, lifting her chin with pride. “I cannot afford to fall in love with an entire family and town when I do not know what my heart will feel for the man.”
Avaline gasped, “you still haven’t forgiven him.”
“Do you know what it feels like to understand you are not enough?” At Avaline’s silence, Zorah continued. “Can you comprehend how much it aches in my soul to know I was not worthy of his patience? Then, if this wasn’t enough of a massive thought to wrap my head around, this whole family thinks I’m a laughingstock. Do you think I don’t see the sideways glances when people are talking? I saw the men running off to a car Friday evening and I asked what was happening and everyone scattered but not before one of the housekeepers commented that children who cannot handle grown up situations should stay in their room. She was quite shocked when I responded to her in Italian. It seems not everyone is aware how much I’ve picked up being surrounded by the language of my own family back in Providence.” At Avaline’s apologetic look, she sneered, “I’m a joke to this family. Why on earth would I want to be part of it?”
Log in with Google Account
Chapters
Favorite
Settings
