Purity
Icaro’s words took her by surprise.
“Icaro.”
“No. It’s okay, Zorah. I didn’t. Until we arrived in Catania, I failed to make you feel safe and loved. This is my failing as your husband. I gave you grief for not trying but I’m realizing with your words, while I tried to make you feel my affection, it was the safety you were missing. While we were here, I was finally making gains with you in terms of me showing you my love, but I was frequently putting you in situations where you were not safe. I am sorry.”
“I never felt unsafe with you, Icaro.”
“You didn’t?”
“No. In fact it was never something I considered. I felt overwhelmed as I don’t like the violence which seems to follow you everywhere,” she admitted, “but I never felt unsafe, Icaro.”
“Damn I miss you, Zorah.”
“I miss you too, Icaro.”
“Sidonia is missing you as well. She was over earlier sobbing her heart out. I told her you found your father. She is happy for you. I promised her I was working on reuniting you.”
“You must be tired, Icaro.”
“I am.”
“Do you and your father have a plan?”
“We will divide and conquer. We’ll be flying to America in two days.”
“To confront Ippocrate?”
“Yes, and the family who dared to go against us in an act of war. We’ll go to New York first and then Rhode Island. I’m going to expose Ippocrate Giannone to his leaders. I’m going to show them his underground bunker. I’m going to make him lose all the respect he has from his leaders and then, when he has felt like he’s lost it all, I’m taking his life.”
Zorah was quiet at his words. “I don’t believe in murdering someone, Icaro. It’s wrong to kill.”
“Zorah.”
“But I want him to die.” She knew her words shocked Icaro and her own guilt at saying something so horrible made her throat close with thick tears. “Seeing the photograph, he took of me with him, in my bed, in my room, in the apartment I shared with my mother made me throw up. He took my clothes off me, Icaro and I didn’t know. All I could think of was what if he touched me, what if he,” she took a gasping breath, “what if he had sex with me when I was unconscious. I can’t remember and it’s all I can think of, Icaro. My uncle said it was likely I was drugged since I have no recollection at all of what he was doing.”
“It is likely.”
“One part of me is glad I can’t remember what he did but the other part, Icaro, I wish I knew what he’d done to me.”
“My love, I will make him pay for what he’s done.”
“What if he did? Icaro, what if he was inside me before you were.”
“He wasn’t.” Icaro said seriously, “oh honey, don’t cry. Please don’t cry.”
She couldn’t stop herself as the tears fell. A deep gut-wrenching sob tore from her abdomen as she confided her fears and terrors to her husband. “How could he violate me like this? Icaro, its not fair! I never did anything wrong. I was a good girl.”
“I hate this. I wish I was there with you, holding you in my arms and reassuring you. He will pay for what he’s done but please don’t cry.”
“I can’t stop thinking about how he undressed me and climbed into my bed. He definitely touched me but the question of how far he went is unanswered and it’s making me nauseous.”
“He might have touched you, but he wasn’t inside you.”
“How do you know? How can you be sure?”
“Because I knew, from the minute I first touched you, your body was innocent. You know I explored you, my love.”
“But how are you certain?”
“Do you know how I know I was the first man to touch you intimately? Remember when I put my two fingers inside you the first time? It hurt a little. Remember?
She sniffed at his words. “Not really because you made me feel so good.”
He gave a low laugh, “Well, I know.”
“But how?”
“Because your fat disgusting obese uncle has fingers which are the size of Bavarian sausages. My love, I know he did not put any part of him inside you because of how you squeezed my one finger tight. Your body was innocent. He did not take your virginity. Nobody has. You might have taken my fingers, but you have not had intercourse, and I cannot emphasize it enough,” his voice was passionate and earnest, “what he’s done to you has no bearing on your purity.”
“How can you say this?”
“Because your purity isn’t measured by what has or hasn’t been in your body, Zorah. It is you heart. It is your soul. It is the beautiful way you view the world through the eyes of an angel. It is the way you can find God in the simplest of places. Your love, the love you have for Sidonia as an example, is a true depiction of the purity of your soul.”
Her heart was aching to believe his words.
“And even if you went with a hundred men before me, Zorah, it has no impact on how much I love you.”
“But could you still want me if,” she sniffled unable to even say it.
“My darling Zorah,” Icaro spoke as if offering her a pledge, “there will never be a moment in time where I do not want you. I will always want you. I crave you. I spend more time thinking of how good you feel in my arms, how it feels to hold you against me, then I do anything else.”
“Icaro,” she whined. “He’s made me feel dirty.”
“Do you remember the day we spent in the town? When we went to the church and then the open-air theatre?”
“The night I watched John Wick?”
“Yes,” he laughed, “do you remember what we did when we got to our bedroom and the bathroom?”
She blushed through her tears, “yes.”
“You gave me a loofah and I cleaned you all up. Many times, actually since we’ve been together, I have washed your body from head to toe. I have scrubbed your body clean. Whenever you think of him touching you, I want you to think of the other night, in the tub when I washed your body clean, when my touch replaced his. Can you do this for me?”
“I can.”
“Good girl. When I see you again, we will repeat the bathtub until such a time you feel clean inside and out. Now, I am arriving to my destination. I have some business to deal with in Rome. When I am done here, can I call you back at this number?”
“Yes, but I may be sleeping. There is a time zone difference.”
“Okay, I will text you first and you let me know if you’re awake. We will talk more. I love you, Zorah Lucchesi. I will see you soon.”
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