Frustration
Icaro gave her a tight smile. “Arranged marriages happen all the time and back then even more so.”
“Treating women like property.”
“True however,” he acknowledged her comment, “the Lucchesi family, in every generation was always the wealthy family. Women would clamor to be the lover of any Lucchesi man because it meant a life of security and riches. In a time when food was scarce who better to turn to than a man who never went without? A good father wants for his daughter to be provided for, to know she will never go hungry and to want for nothing.”
“Not all men are so virtuous with their intent,” Zorah corrected snidely. “This was about bartering and making arrangements.”
“I will admit before the Lucchesi miracle, this was the case but after, it was a different story.”
She flicked her fingers at him impatiently, “go on.”
“Well, it was said while the Don of both families were ready to sign on the dotted line, the daughter was not so keen. She heard how Binita was given an answer to her prayers, so she offered her own. The Lucchesi men were known for having women at their beck and call. Being a Don to a family meant there are women throwing themselves at him more than his underlings. She did not want to be married to a man who brutally killed her family and friends and suffer the humiliation of being tied to a man who would have a woman in every city he visited. She prayed for her own miracle. She wanted true devotion.”
“None of you could simply keep it in your pants once you made a vow of fidelity?”
He threw his head back and roared with her question, laughing uncontrollably, “oh Zorah, you are so clever.”
“I’m not trying to be clever. Is it truly so hard to be loyal?”
“Yes, we could. The Lucchesi Don heard what she was doing, praying in the church begging God for a blessing the way Binita was blessed, and he went to her. In the church, on the altar, in front of her, God and all the witnesses who’d followed him, he made a blood oath. He pledged to his new bride not only would he be faithful until death do them part, but he promised to teach his sons a new way of life. His heirs, and all future lineage from that moment on, knew the moment they exchanged vows with their one true love, they would uphold the vow he made and treat them with the reverence they deserve. He asked her, would she rather have a man who was forced by God to uphold his fidelity or to give it freely. She accepted the betrothal. For two hundred and fifty years since, every Lucchesi son is taught the importance of the bond from birth. It is drilled into us, and we are shown by our fathers how to love and respect our wives.”
“What do you get out of it? Was the bloodlust cured?”
“It is tempered. If you can imagine in life, everything is in balance. There is a sunset and a sunrise. There is life and death. There are hunters and prey. There cannot be up without down, there cannot be wrong without right and there cannot be hate without love.” He played with her fingers on the table, “we were out of balance. Our men were so consumed with the hate, we were missing the love. Putting the love back in our hearts, meant the hate and the anger was diminished. The problem which arises is when we are away from our love for too long.”
The sad expression on his face made Zorah squeeze his fingers, “how so?”
“We are meant to be with our one. Our need for the balance becomes amplified the moment we feel our connection. The imbalance becomes difficult to manage.”
“And you become bloodthirsty? Do you drink blood?”
“I’m not a vampire, my love but I have been called a beast for a reason.” He took a breath, “the longer we are unbalanced the deeper we are pulled to our darker, baser sides. It is difficult for the men in our family who do not meet their brides for a long time. Imagine if you will, the frustration you would feel knowing the one thing which would make your life complete is out there, out of reach and you know it is there. You know, without a shadow of a doubt it is there, it could very well be in the very next room, around the next corner, across the street in a coffee shop and yet, it’s elusive. You watch your brothers and cousins find what is escaping you and you can only watch with resentment. We know it’s coming. We know, we can feel it, we are desperate for it and yet, it’s out of reach.”
“It must be very difficult,” she whispered.
“Then imagine how much more frustrating and difficult it is when you find it, when you see it, feel that instant connection deep in your soul and you can’t have it. Contemplate how it feels when you feel your heart stop then start again as if being born again, being rebirthed into your own body, and then being told to step back and watch from a distance.”
“Icaro,” her voice trembled at the pain in his voice.
“I am the only known Lucchesi heir who has met their brides and was forcibly separated for an extended period of time. I always had a bad temper as a small child, a typical Lucchesi red blooded brat. I was thirteen. Hormonal. Belligerent. An attitude to rival any teenage boy but worse because I was a Lucchesi who was exposed to violence from the time I was walking. I found you. I held you. I wanted to take you home with me and protect you and keep you safe and watch you grow up. I wanted to shower you with love and affection and make you feel like the queen you were meant to be. Instead, I was forced to put you back in your grandmother and mother’s arms. My father dragged me back to the plane and took me back to Italy. I was rageful. My grandparents and great grandparents worked with my parents to help me quell my temper and in time I learned to curb it. I found outlets.”
“Like sex?”
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