Chapter Forty- Time apart didn't help.

Paxton

I sigh as McKenna runs away from me. I guess a couple of days apart didn’t help anything. She still wants nothing to do with me other than being friends. I am not only feeling guilty about my behaviour but also because of the articles written about us. I hope she meant it when she said she hadn’t been looking at them. I see some of the comments, and they are horrible. Some people are calling her fat and ugly and saying how someone like her would never get someone like me unless I were desperate. It is only some. I wanted to respond to every horrible one and defend her, but it wouldn’t help. It would make matters worse. I can only hope they pass soon enough. If we aren’t seen together again, everyone will move. Thankfully, no one knows where I am now, and I hope it will stay that way.

I head upstairs after her and into her room. She may not be happy when she finds me in her room, but I don’t like this awkwardness between us. I want us to be able to talk and hang out without the atmosphere being too bad. I hear the shower running as I pass by. She must already be in it.

I enter her bedroom and remove my shoes before climbing onto her bed. She has white sheets; I don’t want to dirty them with my shoes. I rest my head on the pillow and stare at the ceiling. I will miss sharing this bed with her. I have not given up all hope quite yet, but I understand nothing will happen between us any time soon. I need to respect that. Either way, I have the rest of the summer to fix what I broke, no matter what she wants from me.

I close my eyes and try to relax. I don’t want to get too relaxed, though, or I may end up falling asleep. I haven’t been sleeping great the last couple of nights. There has been too much on my mind. I am exhausted. I think I may have slept four hours between the two nights. I lose myself in thought and only stop when I hear the bedroom open.

“Paxton, what are you doing in my room?” she asks.

I sit up and look at her. She is only in a towel.

“I don’t want things to be weird between us. Can we talk?” I ask.

“Um, can I at least put some clothes on?”

I nod, “Yes. I will cover my eyes.”

I lie back down, lift one of her pillows, and place it over my face, blocking my view. I hear her laugh and go into her closet to get clothes. As tempted as I am to look, I won’t.

“Okay, you can look now.” She says a few minutes later.

I remove the pillow and pat the spot next to me, “Come lie with me.”

McKenna raises her brow suspiciously at me.

I chuckle, “I promise to keep my hands and everything else to myself.”

She rolls her eyes and climbs onto the bed, taking the spot next to me. I roll onto my side, and she does the same.

“What do you want to talk about?” she asks softly.

I take a deep breath, “About us. I don’t mean that in the way you think. I mean, I don’t want things to be weird between us, Kenna. I know New York messed everything up, and I hurt you, but I would really like it if we could at least be friends again. Back how we were before we had sex?”

“You mean you annoying me every chance you get?” she snickers.

I chuckle, “Yes, that too. Can we? I understand why you are done with me in every other way, but I would hate if one weekend ruined the relationship we have had for years.”

“I am sure we can return to the way it was before we started having sex, but only if you promise me not to try anything, Paxton. I know it is for the best nothing happens between us again, but I also know, if you tried, I would end up breaking and giving in to you.” She whispers.

“I promise not to try anything.”

She still wants me but doesn’t want to make herself vulnerable to me again. I can’t blame her.

“Thank you.” She smiles.

I can do that if that is what she wants. I won’t push or flirt with her in the way I did before. It would be unfair of me. Anyway, she deserves better than what I can offer her. She deserves a nice guy who is all for her and will be around and care for and love her. I could never be any of those things for her. I couldn’t even if I wanted to because Carter would never allow it. I would be a terrible boyfriend anyway. I am not what you call boyfriend material.

“Do you need to go to work? Can you stay and hang out with me?”

“I need to go to work, but hopefully not for much longer. I am interviewing for a new job at an estate agency next week. It is full-time and great pay, but I am trying not to get my hopes up too much in case I don’t get it.” She smiles.

“I am sure you will do great, dimples. And congratulations on the interview.”

She needs another job. The one she is in stresses her out and pays her terribly. Her boss is an asshole, too, from what she has told me.

“I hope so.” She agrees.

“When do you finish your shift? I wanted to make the three of us dinner.”

“I work until six, and I think Carter finishes at seven.” She answers.

I don’t know what to do with my day, but I will occupy myself. I might try to write some new songs for my next album. I haven’t managed to write in a while.

“Okay. I will make sure it is ready for you both coming back.” I smile.

“How are you going to occupy the hours of your day?”

“I am thinking about doing some writing. It has been a while.”

“Good idea. It was always your escape and the thing that made you relax.” She grins.

“Yes. I have had some terrible writer’s block recently.” I sigh.

“Maybe you should head out, find somewhere peaceful and see if you are inspired.” She encourages.

“It is worth a try. Do you have time for a coffee before you have to leave?”

“I do. Yes.”

I smile and climb off her bed. I offer her my hand, which she takes, and I help her up, too. She stumbles and falls against my chest. My arms automatically wrap around her to keep her up.

“Easy, dimples.” I laugh.

She glances up at me, blushing, “Sorry.” She whispers.

I smile, “It is all good. I am used to your clumsiness.” I tease and bop her nose.

I want nothing more than to dip my head down and kiss her, but I stop myself before I do. She pulls away and straightens herself before heading for the door to leave the room. I take a moment to get it together and follow her out.

I am happy she isn’t ignoring me or hating me. I will take what I can get if it means she doesn’t cut me entirely out of her life.