Chapter Forty-Two - A restless night.

Paxton

I have been trying to sleep for a few hours but failing. I sigh and get out of bed. There is no point in me lying here, staring at the ceiling. I am quiet as I exit my room because I don’t want to wake anyone up. I will go downstairs and sit, maybe work on the song I started earlier without the guitar, only the lyrics. No one needs to be woken up with my guitar playing at two in the morning.

As I pass McKenna’s room, I notice her light is still on. I don’t know if she is awake or has fallen asleep while reading. I carefully open the door and peek my head in to check. She is sound asleep with a book on her chest and a packet of cheese puffs next to her. I chuckle and head over. I take the book from her chest, looking for a bookmark to keep her place because she will kill me if I lose it or fold the top of the page over. I learnt that the hard way many years ago. She lent me a book, and when I returned it, some of the pages at the top were folded, and she lectured me for ten minutes on how wrong it was. I didn’t do it again.

I set the packet of puffs aside and pulled the covers over the top of her. She doesn’t move, not even an inch. I smile and sit on the edge of the bed next to her. I stroke the hair away from her eyes.

“I hope you are having sweet dreams, angel,” I whisper.

I sigh, wishing I could slip in next to her, but I can’t and shouldn’t. I won’t lie; the fact that we are nothing more than friends is harder than I thought it would be. I have developed such a sweet spot for her. It has always been there, but this time around, it is different. I don’t like how this entire situation is making me feel. I don’t want a relationship with her or anything like that, but I miss being unable to sleep next to her. It is all about sex. Yes, I miss that, of course, I do, but that isn’t the main thing.

I kiss her forehead softly and stand up, leaving her to sleep. I don’t get far before she grabs my hand to stop me. I turn to face her.

“I am sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you, dimples.” I say softly.

“You didn’t. What are you doing in here?” she asks in a tired state of confusion.

“I noticed your light was still on when I passed. I wanted to make sure you hadn’t fallen asleep while reading. It turned out you had.” I chuckle.

“I do mostly every night.” She snickers.

“Why doesn’t that surprise me?” I smile.

“What are you doing awake?” she asks.

“I couldn’t sleep. I got fed up with tossing and turning or staring at the ceiling. I was on my way downstairs.”

She climbs out of bed. I raise my brow at her, “Where are you going?”

She smiles, “Downstairs to make some of my delicious hot chocolate to help you sleep.”

“No, you will get back into bed. You were asleep. I didn’t mean to wake you. You shouldn’t have to lose sleep because I can’t get to sleep.” I say firmly.

I would be better off talking to the wall. She shakes her head, putting on her slippers and dressing gown before exiting her room. I chuckle and roll my eyes, following her out. We are quiet as we pass by Carter’s room. He will be up in a few hours.

We enter the kitchen, and I am asked to sit down. I do as I am told and leave her to make the hot chocolate. I swear she has a secret ingredient she uses because it always tastes different from when I or anyone else makes it.

She sets two mugs out on a tray alongside some cookies, “Come on, let’s go outside. The moon and stars are beautiful at this time of night.”

I nod and grab a blanket because it will also be cold outside. When I catch up with her, she is sitting by the pool. I smile and take the spot next to her. I wrap the blanket around us, and she hands me one of the mugs.

“Thank you for keeping my company.” I smile.

“You are welcome. Hopefully, the hot chocolate will help you sleep.”

I smile and nod, taking a sip, “Will you ever tell me what you put in it?”

She shakes her head, “Nope.”

I pout, “Mean.”

She laughs and takes a sip of her drink. I stare at the sky, and she is right; it is beautiful. It is nice to relax out here with her.

****
We stayed outside for an hour before it got too cold, and we came back inside. I felt a little more tired than I was. We made our way back upstairs, stopping outside of her room. She rested against her door, looking at me.

“Do you think you will be able to sleep now?”

I shrug, “I have no idea, hopefully.”

McKenna rocks on her heels and chews on her lips. A couple of nervous habits of hers. She wants to say something but isn’t sure if she should.

“Y-y-you can come in and sleep next to me if you want.” She whispers.

As tempting as it sounds, I should tell her no.

I sigh, “Thank you, but I don’t know if that will be such a good idea.”

“I only meant to sleep, Paxton, nothing more. I hope you get to sleep. I will see you in the morning. Goodnight.” She says.

She disappears into her room and closes the door behind her.

I don’t move. I stand in the middle of the hallway, glancing between her room and mine. If I slipped in next to her, I would probably sleep easily. I start to walk in the direction of mine but quickly change my mind and turn back in the direction of hers. I slip in and stroll over to her bed.

“Does your offer still stand?” I ask.

“Yes, come on in,” she replies.

I find the bed in the dark and climb in next to her. I make sure to keep a distance between us. I don’t want to overstep or make her uncomfortable in any way. McKenna surprises me when she closes the space between us and snuggles into my side. Her head is on my chest, and her arm drapes over me.

I keep my hands to myself, “McKenna, what are you doing?”

“I am going to sleep. I still want cuddles.” She laughs and brings the covers over us.

“Yes, ma’am.” I chuckle and finally wrap my arm around her.

“Better. Now, let’s try to get some sleep.”
I am up for that. It doesn’t take long for McKenna’s breathing to even out, and she falls back asleep. I kiss the top of her head and focus on trying to get myself to sleep. It feels good having her back in my arms. It had only been a few days, but it felt longer. Sleep is quick to start taking over me, too, which doesn’t surprise me.