Chapter Fifty-Six - It Isn't Going As We Planned

***Paxton***

It has been three weeks since I left. I have seen Carter once, he came to visit last weekend. I haven’t seen Kenna since we said goodbye at the airport, not in person anyway. On a video call, yes, but it’s not the same. The plan we made doesn’t seem to be working. Kenna was supposed to come with Carter, but she ended up in bed ill and couldn’t come. I hated that she was at home sick, and I wasn’t there.

I hate this bullshit! Three weeks is way too long. I missed her like crazy. I have been so busy since my return because I disappeared. I haven’t had a second to myself. Between writing and recording, rehearsals and appearances, I am run off my feet. I want nothing more than to jump on the next flight to Kenna, but it isn’t a possibility. She is busy too with work and preparing for classes starting again in a couple of weeks. Half of the time, we don’t even manage a call. Our relationship has become mainly text-based. It was now how this was supposed to be. I wish there were a way we could make it work better, but it is impossible.  

I am in the studio writing as my manager comes in. 

“Paxton, you need to find a date for the event tomorrow night. We don’t need the press asking questions and expecting you to leave with some random woman. It will be better if you go with someone. I have a few ideas.” 

“No! I am going alone or not at all.” I state firmly. 

I don’t care if it is a fake date. Kenna will see it. The press will make a big deal out of nothing, and Kenna will think the worst and end up hurt. I am not doing it. 

“It is one night. Why are you so against it? You don’t usually bother.” 

I sigh and run my fingers through my hair. “Because things are different, okay? I have a girlfriend and I don’t want her to see that.” I answer honestly. 

“What? Since when? You know no one can know about her, right? It could ruin your career.” He exclaims. 

I roll my eyes. “Since recently. Don’t worry, I won’t share it with the world, but only because she isn’t ready to go public. However, if the day comes when she is, then I will go public. I don’t care what people will think.” 

“Who is she? Paxton, you need to be careful. Not only will it ruin your career, but you know how much hate she will get.” 

“None of your business. It is a part of my life that I am not sharing with you. I don’t plan on keeping it secret forever. We know what will happen, and when it does, I will be doing everything I can to make sure everyone knows to leave her the hell alone.” I snarl. 

I would protect her with everything I have in me when that time comes. 

“You should have told me you had a girlfriend. I need to know these things.” 

“No, you don’t. Not when you don’t know her and she isn’t around.” I reply. 

“You need to be careful.” He warns. 

“I know. I am not new to the business. So, no, I won’t be going with a date. I will be going alone, and if you even try to set me up, I won’t go at all. Do I make myself clear?” 

He sighs, defeated. “Fine.” 

“Thank you.” 

He isn’t happy, but I don’t care. He leaves without another word. What does he expect? Things are different now. I am different. I have Kenna, and even if we need to keep it a secret from the world, I refuse to let my career take priority over our relationship. If it were the version of me from a few years ago, I wouldn’t care what I did or if I hurt her, but I am not. Kenna is different. I care for her in a way unlike any of the women from my past. 

I set my things down and grab my cell to text Kenna. 

*Hey, beautiful. How is your day going? Can we video call later? x*
I hope her answer is yes because we haven’t had one in a few nights. 
*Hey, handsome. My day is okay. I miss you. Yes, we can. Carter is going out. How is your day? x*
*I miss you, too, angel. Great! I can’t wait. I am working on some new music. What time suits tonight? X*
*Eight? Are you feeling inspired? x*
*Eight works for me. Yes, I am xx*
*Maybe you can let me hear what you have been working on? x*
*Not yet, but once it is ready, yes x*
*Okay. I need to get back to work. Talk to you later xx*
*Yes, talk soon. I am looking forward to it xx*

The conversation ends there. I sigh and set my cell aside, getting back to what I was doing. My inspiration has come from Kenna, something perhaps she will pick up on, it is about her. 

I work for a little while and decide to head home. I wanted peace. No one will bother me there. I really need to find a time I can fly out to see Kenna or fly her to me; even if it’s just for one night, it’s better than nothing. I will take anything I can get. It was never part of my plan to fall for her when I decided to escape for the summer. She is the last person I thought I would be with. It is funny how things work. 

I arrive home and toss myself on the sofa. I used to love this apartment, but since my return, it feels lonely. I hate being here. It reminds me that Kenna isn’t here with me. I groan in frustration, sitting up to go and take a shower. I want to destress myself before my video call with Kenna in a few hours. I am glad Carter is out because when he is home, we need to be quiet and careful. It would be hard to explain if he caught us on video call, but tonight, we don’t have to worry. 

I may try to rearrange some things and fly out to see her next weekend. I won’t be able to make it this weekend, as I have too many things to do and events to attend. I would rather do without them, but sadly, it comes with the life I chose to live.