Chapter Forty-Four - Not when you are like this.

Paxton

It was two in the morning, and I was still up. Carter was in bed. I was waiting for McKenna to come home. She was out with her new colleagues. They were celebrating her new job. I am glad she got the job, and she seems a lot happier and excited to actually go to work. She has only been there a week. I am waiting up to make sure she is okay when she comes home. She doesn’t know them well, and I want to ensure there are no issues while they are out. I probably shouldn’t be waiting for her because she is a grown-ass woman who can care for herself, but I can’t help myself.

I hear a car pull up outside and rush over to the window. There is a cab outside. I watch as McKenna climbs out, staggering as she does. She is drunk. I sigh and hurry outside to get her in case she falls. When I get out, she is staggering up the driveway, singing to herself.

“Are you drunk, dimples?” I chuckle.

She giggles, “Only a little.”

I move beside her and slip my arm around her waist, keeping her up.

“Did you have a good night?” I ask.

She nods, “Yes, but I drank way too much.” She slurs.

McKenna isn’t one for getting completely wasted. Yes, she drinks, but I haven’t ever seen her this drunk.

“Yes, I think you did. Let’s get you to bed with water. Did you eat?” I ask.

“Not since lunch.”

“Okay. I will make you something.” I smile.

I get her inside and upstairs, which is a challenge because she struggles to keep herself upright. I finally get her to her room, getting her to sit at the bottom of the bed. I quickly grab her some pjs for her to change into.

“You are going to put me into my pjs?”

“Yes, because I am worried if you try yourself, you will end up falling off the bed and hurting yourself,” I say softly.
“Aww, sweet, you want to take care of me or is it because you want to me naked.” She snickers and bops my nose.

“It is not so I can see you naked, dimples.” I chuckle.

She pouts at me, “Don’t you miss me?”

How am I supposed to answer that? She is the one who called things off, and now, because she is drunk, she is asking if I miss her. I should be honest because I am sure she won’t remember what happened in the morning.

“Of course I do, sweetness, but you made it clear nothing else can happen, and I respect that,” I reply.

McKenna stares at me, not saying a word. Her eyes divert to my lips and back up. Before I can do or say anything else, she grips my tee to bring me closer and presses her lips to mine. I groan at the contact I have been missing the last few weeks. She moans into my lips, deepening the kiss. It feels good, but I need to stop it. I part from the kiss, putting a distance between us.

“Why did you stop?” she whines.

I sigh, “Because you are wasted, McKenna. You would regret it in the morning, and I would feel like I was taking advantage of you.” I answer honestly.

I can’t let anything happen between us, not while she was in this state.

She huffs, “I know what I am doing.”

“No, you don’t, angel. You are drunk and confused.” I say and stroke the hair away from her face.

She rolls her eyes, “I can change myself.”

“McKenna, stop being stubborn and let me help you.”

She mutters under her breath but nods. I help her out of her clothes and into her pjs. She crawls up the bed and slips under the covers. I excuse myself to get her water and a snack to help soak the alcohol up.

I head downstairs to the kitchen. I take a moment to myself. I sigh loudly and run my fingers through my hair. I wish she would still want me when she was sober. I can understand why she doesn’t after everything, but that doesn’t make it any easier. I don’t know why I find myself missing her in such a way. It wasn’t like we were in a relationship beforehand. It was purely sexual, well, that is what I tell myself. I can’t help but wonder if there was more, which I hadn’t realised at the time. I have been with many women. Some I have stopped hooking up with, and others decided to stop hooking up with me because they were looking for more. None of those bothered me because someone else could easily replace them, but with McKenna, there is something different.

I wouldn’t have started something up with her if I knew it would be like this. I am confused and don’t know what the hell to do. I don’t want to complicate things more than they already are.

I groan in frustration and focus on what I am supposed to be doing. I make her a cheese and ham salad sandwich with potato chips on the side, take a bottle of water from the fridge, and return to her room.

She is still awake. I thought she would have fallen asleep.

“Sit up, please.” I smile.

She groans but nods and slowly sits up. I climb onto the bed next to her, handing the water to her first to take a drink. I take it from her because she drinks too much at once and ends up making herself sick.

“I am not hungry.”

“McKenna, please eat, even half of it,” I say.

“Fine, but only if you eat the other half.” She insists.

I nod. If it means she will eat some, then I can manage. We sit in silence as we eat. Once she is done, she turns to me.

“Did you reject me because I am drunk or because you don’t want me anymore?” she asks sadly.

“McKenna, you know I still want you. I rejected you because you are drunk, and I respect the choice you made weeks ago when you were sober.” I reply.

The last thing I want is for her to believe I am rejecting her because she thinks I don’t want her.

“Promise?”

“I promise, dimples.” I smile.

“Okay. I need to lie down. My head is starting to spin.”

“Yes, get some sleep. Take some more water first.” I encourage.

McKenna takes another drink of water, sets it aside, and lies down. I climb out of bed to leave her to sleep.

“Where are you going?”

“To bed and to let you sleep,” I reply.

She looks up at me through those pretty big eyes, “Or you can stay in here with me. You can’t leave me in case I am sick or something during the night.”

“Is that your bargaining chip?” I chuckle.

She snickers, “Yes.”

I shake my head, “Fine. I will stay.”

She smiles brightly at me. I switch the light off and climb in next to her. The instant I do, she snuggles into me, resting her head on my chest. I am hesitant for a moment but slip my arm around her. She snuggles her face into my neck and is sound asleep in seconds. I make sure she is covered up before I try to let myself fall asleep, too. McKenna will be rough tomorrow, for sure. I will take care of her if needed. Carter will laugh at her and let her get on with it. I wouldn’t do that to her. I will see how she is doing in the morning. She may want to stay in her room and be left alone.