Chapter 17: Eleanor's Advanced Gastric Cancer

Outside the operating room,Sebastian seemed to sense something. His heart twisted in pain and he had to lean forward,gripping the fabric over his left chest tightly.
He frowned at the operating room door,feeling that something very important was slipping away from him.
At this moment,the operating room door opened and a nurse hurried out. When she saw Sebastian,she ran up to him and asked urgently,"Are you a family member of the patient? The patient is dying and we need you to sign a surgical agreement and a notice of critical illness!"
Sebastian felt his ears buzzing and couldn't hear anything clearly. He looked at the nurse with furrowed brows and stiffly asked,"You said Eleanor is dying? How could she be dying?"
Why did someone tell him that Eleanor was dying as soon as she went in?
Seeing his stunned expression,it was clear that he didn't know what was happening inside. The nurse explained concisely: "The patient has advanced gastric cancer. Her condition is critical now. We must have her family member sign both surgical agreement and notice of critical illness..." She trailed off when she saw how red Sebastian's eyes were.
Gastric cancer? In its advanced stage?
How could it be possible...Eleanor had never been sick before; her body had always been healthy! How could she get such an illness?
As a woman like her who should bring happiness instead of misfortune for thousands of years! Why would anyone tell him that she was about to die now?
He must have heard wrong or hallucinated.
Sebastian staggered back one step until his knee hit against the chair behind him causing himself to fall down awkwardly.
He stared at his hands again which were already cleaned but still felt bloody everywhere with an overwhelming smell of blood that wouldn't go away no matter how much he washed them.
"The patient's condition cannot be delayed," the nurse brought two agreements to Sebastian and said,"Sir."
Sebastian looked at the notice of critical illness in front of him. He recognized every word but couldn't understand it when they were put together.
The nurse urged him,"Sir,please sign quickly."
His hand kept trembling. Sebastian suddenly clenched his fist and punched the wall behind him with a muffled sound. The nurse was startled by this; she saw a bloodstain on the wall which showed how much force he had used.
Sebastian took a deep breath and suppressed the pain in his heart before lowering his head to sign his name.
"Will she be okay?"
The nurse shook her head: "The patient's condition is very critical. It's hard for us to guarantee that she will be fine...we'll do our best."
Sebastian handed over both documents to her and watched as she walked away before collapsing onto the cold chair behind him.
It felt like something had been cut out from his heart leaving an unprecedented emptiness inside himself. He couldn't believe that Eleanor was lying inside there with doctors and nurses trying their best to save her while he could do nothing about it.
Eleanor had been around him for four years,always present but never important enough for him to care about her feelings or even life or death until now when there was a possibility that she might not wake up again. Suddenly,he felt scared all over as if something important was slipping away from him forever.
Sebastian looked dazed with blurred vision; he rubbed his eyes only then realizing they were wet with tears streaming down uncontrollably.
He suddenly remembered six years ago when he first met Eleanor wearing a red dress with long hair cascading down past her waistline stunning everyone who saw her smile slightly revealing bright eyes full of light shining through them alluringly captivating anyone who gazed upon her.
When did the light in her eyes disappear?
Sebastian took out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and was about to light one when a passing cleaner pointed at a sign on the wall reminding him,"Sir,smoking is prohibited in the hospital!"
He had no choice but to put it back. His hand holding onto the cigarette box kept trembling while he looked up at the operating room with red lights flashing. The pain in his left chest became more intense than before.
The nurse went to call David who arrived shortly after. When he saw Sebastian sitting outside of the operating room,he was surprised: why would Sebastian be here?
"Why are you here? Where's Eleanor?" He felt uneasy for some reason.
Sebastian raised his head; his eyes were empty: "She's inside."
So Eleanor was the patient that needed emergency surgery?
David's face changed drastically; there was already an air of gravity around him which now turned into anxiety as he rushed straight into the operating room without wasting any time.
As soon as David closed the door behind him,Sebastian questioned: "David,did you already know that Eleanor had advanced stomach cancer!" Eleanor and David were close,they grew up together since childhood. As a doctor,it was impossible for David to be completely unaware of her illness.
David didn't answer,he just gave Sebastian a cold glance when he closed the door. In that moment,Sebastian felt like he wasn't breathing air but rather being pierced by thousands of steel needles and arrows through his heart. It was the first time he experienced what it meant to have a broken heart.
The operating room doors closed again and Sebastian's vision went black. He almost couldn't stand on his feet as he clutched at his chest and tasted blood in his mouth.
Outside the rain continued to patter incessantly. When the boiling emotions gradually settled down,all that remained was a feeling of icy numbness throughout his body - even the rain outside seemed to shatter upon hitting the ground.