Chapter 28: Scarred Hands

The nurse who was just thin and worried about Eleanor volunteered to push the medicine cart when the bell rang. She couldn't stop worrying about Eleanor,so she imagined all kinds of scenarios in her mind. However,she didn't expect to see Eleanor's bloody hands when she pushed open the door.
The originally neat and clean ward was now a mess with papers scattered on the ground,IV tubes tangled up on the bed,and medicine bags thrown on the floor causing a spillage.
But what caught her attention most were Eleanor's injured hands. The back of her hand was stained red with blood that even soaked through the sheets.
"What...what happened? Did he bully you?" The nurse looked at Eleanor's hand then glanced at her slightly reddened eyes before speaking carefully as if trying to take care of her emotions.
Eleanor shook her head with a hoarse voice after crying earlier. "I did it myself."
The nurse didn't quite believe it. She took out cotton swabs and disinfectant from the medicine cart and carefully lifted up Eleanor's left hand which had some coagulated blood that needed cleaning.
Blood oozed out from where needles had been inserted into veins; although not large wounds,they bled profusely due to being punctured for too long without healing properly yet.
"It might hurt a bit,please bear with me," said the nurse gently while cleaning up.
"Okay." Eleanor responded softly while looking blankly at ceiling since she had already endured through much pain during this period of time; this amount of bleeding could be considered nothing compared to what she has gone through before.
After removing an indwelling needle from one vein successfully but seeing how scarred both hands were now made it clear that no more needles should be inserted into them again.
"Can I insert it in your right arm instead?" asked the nurse.
"How many more days do I need to receive IV therapy?" Eleanor inquired.
The nurse flipped through several pages of her notebook and estimated,"It may take ten days or half a month."
Another ten days? Eleanor frowned. She didn't know if she could attend the hearing next week as planned. She sighed,"Go ahead then."
The nurse skillfully inserted another indwelling needle into her right arm which was somewhat inconvenient but still manageable.
After changing her medicine and sheets,the thoughtful nurse also picked up the papers on the ground. She stared at those fake medical records for a while before asking: "Has your husband gone back?"
Eleanor pursed her dry lips and nodded.
For a moment,the nurse didn't know what to say. Three days ago,Eleanor was still proud of being part of Los Angeles' women's circle as Miss Stone from The Stone Family; now online reports claimed that she had snatched someone else's fiancé and knelt down in public to save her marriage despite causing The Stone Family's bankruptcy and disregarding becoming an imprisoned murderer father with terminal stomach cancer who only has two years left to live.
Any words of comfort would sound pitiful now. After hesitating for a long time,all she said was: "Take good care of yourself."
"Don't worry about it. Today's incident won't happen again." Eleanor smiled slightly revealing shallow dimples on both cheeks when smiling; people often say that those with dimples look especially sweet when they smile but hers were filled with bitterness instead.
"No trouble at all," replied the nurse quickly before pushing away the medicine cart softly out of sight.
As soon as its rumbling wheels faded away gradually until disappearing completely from earshot did everything become quiet suddenly except for sounds made by dripping liquid medicines above her head.
When one is quiet,thoughts tend to wander aimlessly without control. And whenever Eleanor's mind wandered,Sebastian's image would quickly occupy it and no matter how hard she tried to shake him off,he had become a habit that was difficult to break.
Sebastian really did go back.
He won't come again. She heard during her 46-hour coma that Sebastian had been by her side the whole time; it felt like a dream but even then,she didn't dare believe it.
There are five days left until John's review,and Sebastian has not appeared during these five days. The person Eleanor sees the most every day is either her caregiver or David. David works at the hospital and is usually very busy,but whenever he has free time,he will come to the ward to accompany her and persuade her to undergo chemotherapy.
Eleanor is afraid of pain and quite delicate. She screams in pain at the mere mention of injections,let alone undergoing painful chemotherapy that feels like scraping bones. As expected,when she heard about chemotherapy,she shook her head.
"I won't do it." Chemotherapy can prolong life and be more beneficial for treatment,but she had given up hope already. When David tried to persuade her again,Eleanor spoke frankly: "Chemotherapy makes you lose a lot of hair. I don't want to be bald before I die; that would be even more unbearable than death."
"It's so late now; why are you still thinking about your hair?" David shook his head helplessly. Although his expression was conflicted,it wasn't as heavy as before.
"You know I love makeup and dressing up," Eleanor smiled nonchalantly. "And you also know that I'm someone who's really afraid of pain."