Ch. 102: Dreams

CHAPTER 102
Jake~
If I thought I had been losing control over Aamon before, I didn’t know what to call it now. Every breath I took felt like a fight to stay in my own body. Trying to reason with him did nothing.
Dreams are our only reprieve. Every night, after fighting to get some sleep, we dream of Rachel. Being with her in a forest at night under a full moon. I move between forms and she isn’t afraid. She turns into a wolf as well. And we play chase with each other. It’s so real that every morning when I realize I am alone, I get crushed all over again. I wonder if the Goddess is helping me not to shift by giving me these peaceful moments. But I can’t know for sure. It’s peaceful, but it could also be used as torture each time I wake up to realize it wasn’t real.
Instead of helping, Aamon floods my mind with images of how satisfying it was to behead that demon creature weeks ago, and how good it would feel to do the same to the traitors I currently had in our cells.
I had to let Sophie and Tiffany stew in there. It was more about not looking at them on my end, because I knew that I would kill them on the spot for what they had been doing. But that risked Aamon pulling all the way through and forcing a dangerous early shift. It wouldn’t matter to me, I’d die trying to do it, but the image that Nick kept telling me to pull up was one of Rachel in the future, alone with that scumbag boyfriend and I am not around to help her fight him.
That’s what held me up when I thought I couldn’t take a second more of this.
I continue to fight. By not fighting. Some Alpha I was.
In the meantime our Beta, Evan’s dad, had been down there… questioning them. Knowing that he was causing them some sort of pain meant something to me. A bit of cool mist on my boiling fury. For now. And once it was safer to shift, once it was safe to go after Rachel, I wouldn’t hesitate to destroy them all. I will gladly tear the world apart for her. Burn it all down.
“Alpha?” Nick asked as he approached.
I just grunted. These last few days I haven’t been able to say much at all. I would risk exploding.
“Ally thinks she has something,” Nick added.
I merely nodded, urging him to continue.
We have been relying on Ally to find where Maxine has moved to. Again, these black magic witches - including this Maxine character - have alluded us. While the red haired fae had been able to get information from her mind a few days ago, by the time we sent a team back there about an hour after they told me what they’d found, the bh and her friends had fled. Cowards. First they take my parents, now they put my mate in danger. From what Ally can tell at least the scum pretending to date Rachel isn’t involved in The Collective. This could be good. But also could be worse-
“I would like to discuss the rest with the Beta if that would be alright?” NIck asked cautiously.
This means that whatever Ally had to say, or whatever plan Nick was putting together, was one that was sure to set me off. I cracked my knuckles.
Make him tell us, Aamon surged forward.
I grabbed onto the railing of the staircase in front of me and squeezed with everything I could. I needed to let some of this out before I burst, but I couldn’t risk letting Aamon do it, he’d likely kill us both for any slight to Rachel.
I breathed in and out and finally, hissing from the pain of holding it all in, I let go, leaving a totally crushed metal railing behind. It snapped off and fell down. I tried not to flinch as it fell.
I looked at Nick and nodded.
I could see Evan walking closer from behind us. He had been keeping his distance for the majority of the time since rejecting his mate.
I wish I could talk to him about what he just went through. He’s like my brother. But I know if I open my mouth at all - I’m risking everything - and so I just give him the most meaningful look I can. He nods. I know he understands.

Rachel~
I dreamt again about being a wolf in the forest. I woke up on Saturday morning with a smile on. And for just a split second I wished more than anything else that it could be real. But life doesn’t just go the way you wish it will.
I sat up slowly and stretched. Looking at the time, I was thankful I was getting a break today. Sean had some family things today and I was finally getting a day to myself. I should have asked Ally and Lana if they wanted to hang out, but I hardly believed that this day was real until it came. I kept assuming he would get out of it. These last few weeks he has dropped all kinds of other things - other family things - to see me but not today.
I unplug my phone to find no messages and I feel like I could sigh aloud in contentment. Laying back down on the bed, I look up at the ceiling, blinking a few times, trying to clear the image of a wolf outline. I must be going nuts. Wishing my dreams were my real life. Seeing wolves everywhere.
I hear my mom say very loud good-byes, and don’t need to see her to know she’s wrapping up a call to the family in Peru. The music gets started in the living room and as every latin kid can tell you - this is the universal signal that it’s time to get up and clean. Meg stirs next to me and tries to bury her face in the comforter when my mom busts into our room loudly.
“Let’s go, let’s go!” she sing-yells. “You’ll sleep the whole day away! Vamanos!”
She spins and leaves, heading to the kitchen to get started.
I know better than to fight this. Unlike Meg who tries to stay buried.
“Ugh, why is mom allergic to sleeping in? It’s the freakin weekend,” she grumbles.
I stand up and head to the bathroom while I say back loudly, “You know what will happen if she has to come back for you…”
I wish I could sleep in too, but there’s something nice about waking up and getting things out of the way so you can enjoy the rest of the day.
I brush my teeth and splash some water on my face before joining my mom. I start with a quick dusting before moving on to vacuuming. After a minute I finally see Meg surrender and head to the bathroom too. She comes out after a few moments and starts helping me move furniture around for me so I can more easily get the job done. Once completed, my mom moves into the bathroom and Meg grabs the mop.
“Why are you in such a good mood?” Meg asks me, her face scrunched like she’s eaten something sour.
“Mmhmm,” I hum out and shrug.
I continue rearranging the pillows in the living room and start gathering the blankets to be put through the laundry.
“Ugh don’t tell me, you finally broke up with Sean and are dating Jake now? Right?” she asks while putting on the new mop head.
“What? Who?” I ask her.
My head suddenly feels stuffed up. I see a tall shadowy figure in my eyes between blinks.
“Oh yeah, yeah... Like I don’t notice things. I’m not dumb you know,” she says from around the corner, now out of sight as she starts to mop. “You’ve always liked Jake, I totally read your old diaries, you know. And he stares at you all the time. I saw you guys at Mania, and at the concerts - come on. Why are you even with Sean anyway? It’s like he bums you out.”
A painful migraine builds up at my temples and I drop everything to the floor. All I can see is a tall, broad figure. An outline. A shadow. My heart hurts looking at it, like I’m grieving someone I love.
“Rachel? Hello!” Meg says, much closer to me now.
Everything hurts and I fall to the floor, squeezing my temples with my fists.
“Mom!” Meg yells in panic.
And then it all goes dark.




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Apologies again for delays. We should be back to the 2 chapters a week minimum! I'll be also adding more to my other story: "Her Moon, His Song" which has so far taken a backseat to this one. Hoping to add 1 chapter a week to that story until Dreams and Nightmares wraps up. Our ending is in sight!