Ch. 14: Nightmare

CHAPTER FOURTEEN:
I watched from a safe distance as she crossed the next street. Something had made her smile. I wanted it to be me, who made her smile. I felt anger rising. It better not have been that giant clumsy fool she was just speaking to. She couldn’t be interested in him. Could she? Why couldn’t she just know it was me. I’m the one she has to be with. I need her. I continue to follow from across the street, using the cars along the way to block her view of me. I wouldn’t want to startle her. I need to know her. I need to study her without her knowing before I reveal myself. The real me.
She looks up again from her phone to cross the next street. Smart girl. For a normal human she seems to be pretty aware of her surroundings. Almost at the elementary school now. I should be able to blend in with the crowd. I did that on our last walk. I have to stay calm though, if I get too comfortable she might sense me like yesterday. She nearly looked right at me from the bottom of the stairs. I am still wondering how she felt my presence. I guess she really was special. Special and meant to be mine.
My one consolation is she wouldn’t recognize me at first anyway, using a concealment spell is something you can't identify easily unless you know what you’re looking for. And luckily she doesn’t. But I’ll show her soon. Soon, I can show her this whole world that is just beyond the world humans perceive. Then she will see how she must stay with me. I’ll show her how powerful I - we - could be.
At the top of the hill I see her look around and I step behind an apartment building pillar. There she goes again, smart one. She really does feel something. I wait a minute before peering back around. She’s gone. Must’ve started her walk down the steps through the small wooded area around her home. I’m so lucky her home faces this little wooden area. It made it so much easier to watch her yesterday through the kitchen window as she did her homework. She had been talking to someone, and while at first I was jealous I fought my urge to barge in there until I remembered a spell to help amplify sound. It was in a book hidden away in my house, and I had just found it a few months ago. Why my parents never dained to teach me these I wouldn’t know. It was from that spell I was able to listen in on their conversation for about an hour. It had been her friend, Ally. Not a threat. Just a human. And not a special one like Rachel. No, Rachel had something, likely back deep down in her bloodline that felt powerful.
I follow her further down, and see her on the phone again. Using the same sound amplification spell I learn she is talking to herself. Likely some defense technique she must like to use to make her feel safer. Safer from me? Does she feel something still? My anger flares again. How dare she think I would hurt her? I won’t hurt her. Not as long as she stays with me. Something about being near her makes me feel so much stronger. I am able to cast stronger spells without the same draining feeling. I can cast more elaborate and heavy spells. It has to be a sign. She is to be mine. Soon, I tell myself. Soon I will reveal myself and she will help me fulfill my destiny.
She’s at the bottom of the stairs. She steps out and I prepare for her to look up again, like she did yesterday. I enjoy this game we play. This dance. And she does look, right near where I am. But today I am even more prepared. I have already shifted into a crow.


I was running. I was being chased by something with deep dark eyes. Claws.
I ran down another dark corridor filled with heavy wooden doors. My feet pounded on the stones. I was in some lower levels of a castle. It was terribly cold, and my bones felt chilled. I felt like they could shatter at any moment, but I had to keep going. It was coming to get me! I turned another corner and there were the eyes again. A dark shadow of a hand, reaching for me as I turned on my heel and my arms used the wall to launch myself off in the opposite direction.
It laughed. A cold, deep sound that rattled the hall, making the torches flicker. I continued running and ended up in a deadend. Panicking I used my arms to launch myself back again only to come face to face with the dark figure and soul-eating eyes. I stopped dead. The remaining torches flickered, flickered, and extinguished. It stepped forward, a cold clammy hand on my wrist.
My eyes shot open. I was breathing quickly, shaking. Covered in sweat. It was dark other than the red glow from my alarm clock. I was clutching the sheets around me. A dream. I exhaled a few times, trying to calm myself and regulate my heart beat. It was a little after 2am. My god, that was terrifying. I still felt cold somehow. I looked to my left and saw my sister Meg sound asleep. Mouth a little open, lightly snoring. It anchored me back to reality. I tried to think of happier things - and failed. I was exhausted. I really needed to get some sleep. Maybe I was just super anxious about tomorrow - er, today - with Sean? I normally couldn’t remember my dreams and if I did they were odd but never anything like that.
I closed my eyes and tried to think about happy things. Kittens, puppies, Disneyland. Nothing worked. After a few minutes I gave up and just stared at the ceiling. With enough time, my eyes got heavy and the world went dark once more.

The next morning I woke up a little late and ended up really rushing through my morning routine. I felt awful, just bone-tired. I had about a split second to pick out what to wear. Not like this was a big day for me or anything... I really regretted not picking something out last night. I don’t usually spend too much time picking out outfits or whatever, but lately it has just seemed more important. I chose a shirt at random and my most comfortable pair of high waisted jeans, making sure to grab a good jacket on my way out the door. Beaches in Belmar were windy and chilly.
By the time my mom dropped me off at the bus stop I was a little giddy. I thought about telling my mom about my after school plans today, but changed my mind. I would keep my phone on me and it wasn’t like I planned on being out with Sean that late anyway. I would likely get home around the time it normally took. The long wait for the bus, and longer bus ride, plus the walk across town and up the hill usually meant I was coming home around 4:30. Pacific got out around 2:30, and my mom wouldn’t be home until at least 7. Besides, I liked having this secret. I never did this sort of thing and having this plan made me feel like an actual teenager for once.
Earbuds in, I thanked my mom for the ride and crossed the street to the small crowd waiting for the bus. I saw Melanie and June and gave them a small wave in greeting. June smiled in return. It looked like they were waiting for Angela. I turned with my back to the street to be proactive today in my eye contact avoidance. Between Sophie still out for blood, and the odd Jake nonsense yesterday, I was on high alert.
After some time the bus arrived and the crowd gathered into a blobby line. I was in the tail end and watched Sophie get on. Jake and his friends were on after her, followed by a few other people. Angela, Melanie, and June were going up the stairs next and I followed pretty closely behind. Maybe I could sit by them.
At the top of the stairs I scan quickly and see Jake straight up smiling at me. Like grinning. I can’t help the confused look that takes over my face for a few seconds. Someone’s in a good mood I guess… I start walking down the aisle without a plan, just wanting to get moving before someone notices this weird interaction. I walk down and find an empty seat. It is much easier finding a seat on the morning route. The morning route only picked up Melbourne kids and took the others in vans. Not sure why but it was what it was. The bus pulled away from the curb and I started my most energizing playlist, trying to get in the right headspace for the day.
My phone buzzed.
<< From Sean to Rachel: morning >>
I think it’s going to be a good day. I hope so.