Ch. 137: The Tides Turn

CHAPTER 137:
Maxine~
Goddess my head. My arm.
I blink until my eyes refocus. In trying to stand up, I realize my leg is twisted the wrong way.
“Ah!” I scream out and fall back to the earth.
I hear fighting and screaming far off. Flashes of light far ahead. And clouds of smoke - the Soul Eater demons.
But no one is around. They’ve all left me here to die. My mom, my sister, Callum - no one would care if I died here in this field right now. They would say it was a noble death. A death for the cause. And they would move on. Like they did for the witches who died in the last attack.
I openly sob. I want to blame it on the pain. But I feel pain everywhere.
I lay there for a long time, just listening to everything happening far away.
But I sit up and prepare to get back into it. Because what else am I going to do? Where else could I go? I have no one else.
I focus on my leg and use the little bit of earth element I have to pull four long twigs over to me, and a fist full of flowers. I hold my hand over them and the twigs go around my leg like a splint. The flowers die in my other hand, having to use their life force to put everything together. It’s not great but it’s the best I can do.
“Goddess!” I hiss, standing up the best I can with this splint.
I let out a long breath and steady myself. I roll my head back and look up at the rising moon.
“I’m sorry. I’m weak,” I whisper to it.
And I push off, wobbling towards the center of the packlands where lights and shadows scatter the air.

It takes seemingly forever but I get closer.
There’s so much going on and I can barely make sense of it all. The wolves and their extras are now in a huddled group. They’re spread out, sure, but they're surrounded. From the rolling hill just beyond the packhouse, I can see it all. A giant hellhound blasting fire and sucking fireballs right out of witch hands, wolves rolling and tackling vampires and witches. Lightning from witches and - Ally. She’s taking on two shadows. Two Soul Eaters. I’m in awe of her for a moment.
She hasn’t had the kind of intense lifelong training the rest of us have had, but she’s more than holding her own. And with her wolf by her, she’s strong as h*ll.
It’s surreal standing here like this, like I’m a bug frozen forever in amber. I’m just watching all this happen but I am still, so still.
Speaking of amber - I see her - Amber. And I suck in a breath. She’s fighting with a wolf. Not against one, with one. I see them work together and I’m entranced by the way they watch out for each other. It’s like they share a mind. So that’s where she’s been. And here Callum told me that she was killed… He swore he saw her killed, beheaded.
I’m stunned.
I watch them and look around elsewhere, not understanding. Why would he lie to me? Lie to all of us?
I see Amber fall and the wolf she’s been with jumps in front of her. It’s protecting her. The wolf goes down next but she’s up, fighting against the witch that got the best of them. This time that witch - Samantha - is down. And she doesn’t get back up. Never liked her anyway.
Goddess I’m sick. Who thinks that when they see someone killed? Someone they grew up with?
I see a burst of purple lightning then.
Callum.
He’s making his way across a field, surrounded by Soul Eaters. And they’re going for Ally. She doesn’t seem to notice yet. I’m moving in that direction before I can stop myself. And before I know it I'm again in the middle of a battlefield.
“Evan!” Amber yells in the distance.
A Soul Eater heading towards the wolf she’s been with. The Soul Eater is already weakening the wolf. But Amber doesn’t care, she runs in between them!
“No!” she screams again from the depths of her soul.
I can feel her pain. And then the Soul Eater is on her, eating away at her.
I almost keep going but I can’t. I can’t pass by this. I can’t let Amber die like this. She was the sweetest, shyest soul in my cohort in The Collective. She needed help.
And so I hit the Soul Eater with a huge storm. Lightning and wind wrapped into a huge ball that had been brewing in me. It goes back several feet before I hit it again. I hear her cry out in pain and crawl over to the wolf as I pass them.
“Evan! Please! Come back to me!” she screams out above everything.
I know that pain even if I’ve never really felt it. Love. She loves that wolf.
I attack and attack that Soul Eater, throwing one Soul Eater into another and sending them back almost half a mile. The force makes me fall over.
I hit the ground and cried out from the impact. My splint might be broken. I try to push up from the earth but I’m too shaky, I can’t do it.
I want to cry. I’m useless. Callum is right. I’m weak. Pathetic. Useless. I’m not worth anything. I don’t deserve love. I hear these words over and over in his voice. I don’t deserve what I saw between Amber and her wolf.
I look up and see Ally with her wolf, battling Callum and four Soul Eaters.
I don’t deserve what they have - Ally and her wolf. Rachel and her wolf. I was never that special, that lucky.
“Get up you worthless girl!” I hear from up ahead.
I turn to see my mother.
My own mother has yelled this or so many other versions of this at me. I’m injured and crying on the ground - I’m covered in blood. And she doesn’t cry out like Amber did for Evan, or like Ally did for her wolf. She doesn’t love me.
She’s hit by something and it takes me a minute to realize she’s been tackled by a wolf. I watch, stunned, as it attacks my mom. I don’t cry. I just watch. As this red wolf tears her apart. I’m stuck in time, frozen. My mom’s body hits the ground and the wolf turns back to its battle buddy - Kyle.
I suck in a breath.
He’s looking right at me.
“Max?” he asks, his voice unsure.
I can’t say anything, can’t operate. I just blink there, stupidly laying on the floor, my body twisted.
Then I hear it. Ally’s scream.
I look past Kyle and see she’s down. Her wolf is in front of her, and he’s not leaving her behind. The Soul Eaters and Callum move forward but the wolf doesn’t leave her.
I can’t breathe.
In a second I’m up and I hear Kyle yell something, but I don’t register what it is. I’m running on my mostly broken leg. There’s twigs in my hair, dried and wet blood all over my body. I’m in so much pain. But I run. My body is screaming silently as I push and push.
Callum is laughing. He’s laughing.
In all this blood and chaos and loss - he’s laughing. He doesn’t look around once at our group. He doesn’t care about us. He doesn’t love us.
But Ally and Nick. They love each other.
And Ally may have loved me at some point. When I was her friend. When I was Rachel and Kyle’s friend. When I was Marsha’s friend.
I have an image in my mind of all of us on our bench together at Pacific, before everything went to sh*t. We’re all laughing at something dorky Kyle said. I’d never felt so light. So full of joy. So wanted. So at ease. So… loved.
And while I made bad choice after bad choice, here - here I can make a good choice.

I think back to when I was talking to Nick back when he’d been kidnapped by the vamps. He was in his cell and once the vamp and Callum were out of earshot, he asked me something. Couldn’t I change this? Couldn’t I make a real difference and do what’s right? Couldn’t I help them? Save my friends?
I nearly laughed then. Friends? Didn’t they hate me?
Maybe - he’d said. But he said that he knew if I could help them, if I could join them, that he would make space for me. That he knew Ally and Rachel and all of them would come around, that they’d protect me, support me.
I didn't know what to say then.
But I know what to do now.

There are Soul Eaters everywhere. And while it will be hard to bring them down, I know they can. I know Rachel and Jake can. They just need me to stop Callum before he raises more.
I run up to where Callum stands and he sees me coming.
“Ah yes, Maxine - here for the show?” he asked me, that maniacal grin still on his face.
I’m panting and out of breath, but I can’t hold it in anymore, the fire I had been building when I started running this way.
“Yes. I’m here for the finale,” I tell him.
I look at Nick for a long moment, tears welling in my eyes, and I put a hand on Callum’s shoulder.
I think about all the love I see out here. All the love I’ll never feel. I think about Marsha and know I’ll miss her. I think about young me being pushed and trained, hit and beaten by this crazed maniac next to me. I think about Amber and the choice she made, and I wish for her all the love and support neither of us ever had.
And I don’t wait for Callum’s reaction before I detonate.