Ch. 13: Jake the Confusing

CHAPTER THIRTEEN:
We caught up on our way out to the exit. Me, sharing Sean’s message and how we still decided to go forward with hanging out tomorrow, and Ally/ Maxine/ Marsha sharing their points of view on the whole class period. They had me laughing so hard with Ally’s reenactments of Marsha trying to rein herself in. At the front Simon waved us over by this tree near our bus pickup, and we waved goodbye to Marsha and Maxine who made their way down the hill. They took the regular public bus down at the very bottom. After chatting with Simon a bit about weekend plans he wished us a good evening and walked to his older brother’s car who came around to pick him up. It was cute watching Simon really come into the personality Ally talked about. He seemed to be becoming more at ease around me.
“Oh hey,” Ally turned to me as we sat down on the grass, “I forgot to ask you. Did you ever figure out what the deal with the redhead goth dude was? I don’t think I’ve seen him around?”
I thought for a second then responded, “You know, no I still have no clue. He is in my other Humanities class though. Maybe he forgot, or got over whatever it was?”
I didn’t want to talk about how while he was in that class I was so preoccupied with everything Vance that I had no clue if the redhead looked at me or tried to talk to me at all.
We spotted the bus coming up the hill and stood up, grabbing our backpacks and dusting the grass off our jeans. After it pulled around we got onboard along with Angela, Melanie, June, and a few others.
At the top step I scanned quickly for an empty 2-seater but instead found Jake’s eyes peering at me in… anger? What? Ally pushed on my shoulder a bit trying to urge me forward.
“There on the left,” she indicated aloud, a few seats ahead, at the empty 2-seater right in front of Jake. I had no reason to pick a different seat, and being the last two getting on the bus meant there wasn’t much to choose from anyway. So, I moved my feet forward down the aisle a bit and sat down by the window, Ally taking the aisle seat.
“Ugh, dude, I just realized my mom told me earlier that she’s working late. So that means a heated up Lean Cuisine for me for dinner. Just tragic,” Ally said and ended with a sigh.
“Yeah, sucks,” was all I could say. I really didn’t want to freely converse with Jake right there after these staring-at-Rachel-days of his. I could tell that his buddies were talking all around him. Mitchell made some joke about Evan, who sat across the aisle from Ally. Robert took a rolled up book and tried swatting at Mitchell in response. This went on for some time between Mitchell, Evan, Robert, Nick, and Tom but Jake didn’t participate. Ally kept giving me looks and I ended up bringing my phone out and indicating I would text her.
<< Rachel to Ally: Sorry! I just am getting this weird vibe from Jake. Have you noticed anything? He gave me this weird look, now it’s like he’s dead silent but the guys are all talking around him >>
<< Ally to Rachel: Ahhh, yeah I was wondering why you paused when we got on. Thought I saw him lookin >>
<< Rachel to Ally: Yeah I just know he’s clearly NOT talking to his friends and don’t want him hearing stuff about me >>
<< Rachel to Ally: Ugh I’m probably just overthinking all this >>
<< Ally to Rachel: Nah it’s fine, I prolly would do the same. It’s def weird. He’s usually always talking and joking when his friends are around! Think he finally likes you back when it’s too late??? >>
Ally was referring to my giant crush on Jake through pretty much all of middle school. I swore a few times we came within inches of… something. But it never happened. I still found him super attractive, I loved his height, his broad shoulders, and his serious black eyes. The charm that he let shine through once you got his guard down. I flashed back in my mind to our frequent after school hang outs at the library, our jokes, our ease with each other. But no, nothing ever happened. I probably imagined most of what I thought we had. We haven't spoken since the last day of middle school. Well at least not to each other directly. When I was still at P.H. he was a fixed feature in our little lunch group. Things are different now.
<< Rachel to Ally: Yeah right >>
Ally and I texted a little more while each listening to music for some time. As we neared her stop we talked aloud about homework a bit. I decided to pull mine out and start working on it since I still had more of a ride after her stop. As her stop came up we said our goodbyes and I focused in on the worksheet I had in front of me, putting my earbuds back in.
I was pretty in the zone as we dropped off the next batch of people. Moving on, I read through the rubric Ms. Del Rios handed out earlier today and read through the instructions for the project which I hadn’t heard very well due to Vance’s creep factor and my overly active creep-o-meter. I started reading the book to get a jump on things.
“I really don’t know how you do that,” a gruff voice said. I looked up to see Jake in the aisle. He had spoken just as my songs were switching.
I was pretty engrossed by the time we pulled into the last stop. I hadn’t noticed right away and unfortunately there were already people standing in the aisle, including Jake.
Might as well respond. I pulled out one ear bud.
“Do what?” I asked him while putting my book in my backpack.
He smiled, like actually smiled.
“Do your homework, read and stuff, while the bus is moving,” he shrugged.
“It’s not so bad,” I said back, but he had already turned to the front of the bus, following the people in front of him.
Well, I guess that’s the end of that? After the last thing he told me at 8th grade graduation? “Okay…,” I mumbled under my breath.
I stood up, facing the aisle and came face-to-face with Sophie. She glared in return. I looked away, facing my whole body to the front of the bus. What was it with all the looking the last few days. It was dangerous to look anywhere since leaving P.H.
The line continued filing off the bus and thankfully Sophie moved forward. I shoved my earbud back in. There was a break in the crowd and I joined in, grateful to be getting off. At least tomorrow I wouldn’t have to deal with this in the afternoon! Sean was going to drive me. Oh my god, a guy was going to drive me somewhere. I stepped out onto the sidewalk and started rushing away like I had yesterday. Then, as if the world knew I was thinking about him right then, my phone vibrated.
<< Sean to Rachel: hola >>
Opening his text I smiled to myself. I looked up quickly to cross the street before looking back down.
<< Rachel to Sean: Hey >>
<< Sean to Rachel: you ready for tomorrow? we can meet at the student lot right after school? >>
I felt a hand on my shoulder.
“Woah!” I yelled, startled. I whirled back to see Jake there, hand still on my shoulder. I took out my earbud. A shock went through my nerves.
“Jesus, Jake. What the heck?” I asked him. I moved my shoulder to get him off. You can’t just go around putting your hand on anyone. Dude much? I narrowed my eyes at him.
“Oh, uh, sorry,” he said, flustered. He brought his arm down slowly, looking embarrassed.
I let out a breath. Something had me wound tight I guess, but still. I don’t think I overreacted much. I mean Jake finally talks to me after basically two years and then does this? Like we were still buddies?
“Sorry, really,” he added. “I was just wondering if you had a minute to talk?” he took a breath, “I mean, it doesn’t have to be right now…”
His voice was still as deep as it had gotten last year. Something about… the vibration of it? I don’t know how to pinpoint it exactly. But whatever it is, his voice was something else that got to me. I had forgotten. That irritated me. Confused me. He hasn’t spoken to me one-on-one since graduation day of 8th grade. Here we were after all this time, and there wasn’t a soul around for some reason.
His phone started to ring.
“You going to get that?” I asked, my eyebrow raised in question. Question. My god I had many questions for him. And at the same time, thinking back to Sean, I guess I really didn’t want to hear the answers anymore.
“It can wait - do you have a minute?” he asked again.
I let out an exasperated breath, “Yeah. Okay. What’s up?”
“I just wanted to ask how things are going for you at Pacific,” he said.
I thought for a second, “Yeah it’s pretty good,” I paused, “thanks.”
We stood there.
“Good,” he said simply. Then just continued to stand there, with a pained look on his face.
He towered over my 5’3” frame with his like 6’5” self. He cast a large shadow with his broad shoulders. He’d gotten bigger over the summer from football practice. That shiz was a way of life at P.H.
His phone stopped ringing. My phone buzzed. Then buzzed again. I cleared my throat while rocking on my heels. I really wanted to look at my phone. I felt like I needed to fill the awkward silence, you could hear a car a few blocks out. I gave in and looked at my phone screen, seeing a message from my mom, and another from Sean.
“Well, uh, thanks,” I said again. Like I hadn’t just said something like that.
Jake put his hands in his pockets, “Well, looks like you’re busy. Uh, we’ll talk later?” and he walked off like that wasn’t the weirdest way we had ever interacted with each other.
He kept walking back toward the park and I scrunch my face in confusion. I looked back at my phone, opening my messages to see what I had missed. I didn’t want to waste any more time thinking about Jake and why he did the things he did.
<< From Mom to Rachel: I’ll be home in an hour with your sister, we can go to Target to get your school stuff. From the lists. >>
I wrote back << From Rachel to Mom: Ok. Got it. >>
Now to read what Sean wrote.
<< From Sean to Rachel: did I scare you off? lol >>
I grinned like an idiot.
<< From Rachel to Sean: No way >>
I was feeling really bold. Forget Jake, Sean is actually definitely interested. Direct, and not so… so confusing. Looking up, I continued my walk home. My phone buzzed again.
<< From Sean to Rachel: thank heaven >>