Ch. 40: Manic Monday

CHAPTER FORTY:
Things calmed a bit over the weekend after my huge talk with Jake. I was more at peace than I had been in some time. His apology would never undo anything, but it was really good to hear it. For him to acknowledge what had happened and how he hadn’t responded in any sort of good way. I would have been able to accept rejection if he had just talked to me, but the silence was uncalled for. We were friends, if anything, when I had confessed my feelings for him in a moment of bravery. I hadn’t deserved that response, and my heart relaxed a little knowing that he knew that. We had continued texting now and then over the weekend, but kept things much more light hearted. He filled me in on some shenanigans, and I mentioned some progress with my ankle. I was going to try to do without my crutches today. Jake thought as long as I wasn’t pushing myself, I would know my body’s progress more than anyone. Sean of course was paranoid that I was pushing myself, and so I lied and told him I would bring them anyway.
It was Monday morning and my mom just dropped me off at the bus stop. I had told her about Sean yesterday and she told me that it made sense, that she figured there was some new person in my life with the way I’ve been so happy lately. I almost asked her to elaborate on when I started seeming happier, but didn’t have the chance with Meg interrupting us. I let my mom know that she could meet him sometime, and she seemed optimistic about it. After everything my mom went through with our dad, she was still somehow a big believer in love. I mean, she still even loved my dad, but told me that love doesn’t fix everything - that you can’t make other people choose what is better for them, that’s up to each person. No amount of love was going to make my dad admit his problem or get help, she had tried in so many different ways but all it did was make him hanker down more, and at some point she knew for the safety and health of her daughters, she needed to let him go.
“Hey! No crutches I see!” noted June excitedly.
“Yeah, not all better, but I’m making progress,” I commented.
More people started to gather and the seconds ticked away. I didn’t see Jake, Evan or Nick yet. I did see Robert and Mitchell though, and they saw me too. In fact, Mitchell kept glancing over with a question or confusion in his gaze. I was about to ask June if she noticed it too when another car pulled up, I knew it was Nick’s dad’s. The three of them got out of the car and I grinned. It was so good to see things getting back to normal.
Nick held his hand out to Jake to block him and the two of them seemed to exchange some heated words while Evan looked right at me and waved. I waved back. Jake caught our exchange and full-on glared at Evan who just brushed it off and took a few of his giant strides towards me. Nick grabbed Jake’s arm and whispered something else which made Jake stiffen, but before I could see anything else my view was blocked by Evan’s massive frame.
“Hey there, Shortstraw! Good to see you up and about. How’s the ankle?” Evan beamed at me. His happiness was so contagious I let ‘Shortstraw’ go.
I lifted it up and rolled it a little, “Getting better by the day!”
“Great to hear!” he replied and scruffed the top of my head a little.
“Hey!” I said, play-glaring up at him. “This doesn’t just happen you know,” I said, gesturing to my hair with my hands which just made him boom with laughter.
Nick and Jake came up and greeted me with a brief, “Morning.”
I looked at Jake expecting… something more? But nothing came, he just stayed there as Evan started to ask me questions about my dramatic fall. I’m not sure what else I was expecting, so I focused on Evan and his questions and retold the story with more humor now that I could look back at it and laugh. Nick and Evan laughed at the parts I orchestrated, but Jake didn’t, his eyes just shone with something as he listened.
The bus appeared and the crowd started to converge into a sloppy line. I waited in the far back not trying to get rushed, and assuming I would be keeping that unofficially reserved seat in the front for a bit. So I hung back and watched as people got on, not missing the death glare from Sophie again. Once inside she looked between Jake and I through the window and scowled, which was great. I couldn’t wait until she forgot I existed.
The guys stayed with me in the back and Nick jabbered on about schoolwork that he had missed and tried to catch up on. Evan smiled like a child’s toy, but a gigantic one, larger than Sesame Street’s Big Bird. It made me want to laugh. The crowd got smaller and then it was just us four outside, Jake motioned his hand in an ‘after you’, and I shook my head.
“You guys go ahead, I’ve got to take it slow and my seat’s already reserved,” I pointed to the front seat behind the bus driver.
“I’m in no hurry, Shortstraw. We’ll be here in case you fall backwards or something, no worries,” Evan said, gesturing with his hand for me to go.
I glanced at Jake who nodded and motioned for me to go first.
“Alright, but just give me some space,” I said to them.
They took a step back and I used both railings to slowly make my way up. I turned at the top and swung my backpack off while I sat down. It hadn’t been as bad as I had thought.
I looked up and saw Jake sitting down next to me.
Nick was right next to him, bumping into his shoulder, but he didn’t say a word and walked on, Evan behind him - who waved again.

Jake ~
“Evan’s in a good mood this morning,” Rachel remarked next to me.
Nick really needed to relax. I know I was pushing it, but I didn’t have a choice. The moment I saw her, I needed to walk to her, and same thing when she sat in the first seat. I couldn’t just keep walking back, my legs wouldn’t cooperate with that idea.
“Yeah, he’s been a morning person the last few weeks, it’s going to drive us all crazy. No one should be that energized before the sun’s even up,” I chuckled.
Evan’s wolf, Xavier, was crazy energetic. They went out running all the time, boarding on more running than any other wolf I could think of. He also did so during the as* crak of dawn. Just awful. I do what needs to be done, if it needs to be, at that hour. But he was basically excited to do it.
Rachel hummed in response and added, “Sounds awful, I need time to fully wake up.”
“Same.”
She put in her earbuds and sat back in her seat as the bus pulled away from the curb. She seemed relaxed. It was nice to see. She mentioned needing time to wake up, but she seemed really refreshed today. I remember when she was going to P.H. with the rest of us, she seemed skin-and-bones exhausted. I thought it was all the overachiever classes she was in. She was always really smart and capable, but even in middle school she would stay up for hours because something in her assignment wasn’t perfect. She pushed herself a lot.
She seemed to get really sad, when she started at Pacific too. She wouldn’t talk to anyone on the morning bus, and rarely talked with Ally on the afternoon bus. Just listened to music and stared out the window. And although she was doing those last two things now, she didn’t seem like that same sad, dejected person. She seemed - healthier - than in the last few weeks. It was really nice to see. Her eyes shone more, and I relished every time they looked over at me. She locked eyes with me every once in a while on the ride to school, small smile and all. My heart thrummed in contentment. I never broke eye contact first as we got closer to separating for the day. Her jade eyes with these little yellow flecks, they were mesmerizing.
We pulled off the freeway and I knew my time with her this morning was nearing an end. I nudged her shoulder lightly, electricity racing to my heart at the contact, even through her jacket sleeve. She smiled at me and took out an earbud.
Head to the side in question, “Yes?”
What a beautiful word. I was struck by how it sounded coming from her voice. She arched her brow further in question, waiting for something.
Oh, me. I needed to respond.
“Any plans for after school today?” I asked. I shouldn’t be asking this. I’m sure Evan was back there already telling Nick this dumb thing I asked.
“Oh,” she thought, “Yeah, I’m going to a bookstore with Sean.”
Sean. I totally forgot the guy existed even though she just mentioned him to me again yesterday. Wishful thinking?
I swallowed, clearing my throat. “Ahem, oh, sounds cool.”
Nice one Jake, future Alpha of West Woods.
She continued to look at me while I internally reprimanded myself, and it took me a second to notice, I locked eyes with her again and took a sharp breath in.
“Umm,” her eyes flickered away and right back to mine, “Why were you asking?” Her voice dropped to a whisper.
I was stunned into silence and my inner voices railed against my head trying to give me a thousand suggestions on what to say, but they said them all at once, I couldn’t pick out a single idea.
The bus came to a stop and I knew we were at Pacific. I was out of time. I stood up, my body always reacting faster than my words, and cleared the way for her. She grabbed her backpack and made her way carefully down the stairs.
Angela cleared her throat from behind me, and again I moved back into my seat, out of the way, and watched her go. She turned back around and I couldn’t tell if she was looking at me, but I chose to believe so. The bus left the curb and right as I started to berate myself again for acting like a dumbas, my phone buzzed.
<< From Rachel to Jake >>: You okay?
No, I don’t think I am.
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