Isabela Part 4
When I finish climbing the wide stairs to my floor, a group of girls passes by and giggles. Nothing too different from what’s been happening all morning as I walked around campus. Every now and then, I noticed a head turning toward me, judgmental or mocking eyes, malicious little smiles, or whispers. I even asked my friends during class if there were any rumors about me. Cris denied it immediately, but Vitor was a terrible liar and kept humming to avoid revealing what he knew. I imagined it must be some big mess.
My feet freeze when I reach my room door. I can barely breathe; I’m hyperventilating. An overwhelming rage sweeps through my body, an uncontrollable fury starting to take over, as if thousands of splinters were piercing my skin all at once.
Son of a bitch!
My whole body heats up, my heart pounds in such an erratic rhythm that I can hear the loud thumps in my ears. My eyes burn with anger, almost spewing smoke, but no tears come out. They spark with rage when I see the phrase spray-painted in red, scrawled across my dark wooden door:
“Here sleeps a bitch.”
“Fucking bastard!” I scream in anger.
I don’t think. I can’t hold back. It’s as if the hatred is spreading, multiplying in my cells, taking over everything in my body, guiding me. My impulsive side dominates as I stomp down, as if my feet could crush the pavement beneath me. Before I know it, I’m standing in front of his graffiti.
Nate still doesn’t understand that I can break down, cry, and be fragile, but I’m no longer passive. The bat he handed me in the past was used to set me free.
I take hits. But I hit back. I cry. But I also know how to make others cry.
I face the gray metal bucket in front of the wall. I grab the can of red paint impulsively. I don’t let myself doubt my actions; I just retaliate in bold, sprawling letters across his artwork, defiling it. I unleash my fury on the drawing of the puppy:
“Fuck you!”
It’s the answer I give him. I don’t care if he spent ages drawing this crap. It’s fire paid back with fire! And every time he does something to hurt me, he’ll get it back in the same way!
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