Isabela Part 5
I spent the rest of the afternoon composing. My mind was buzzing with words dancing around in a whirlwind of creativity. I felt a warm heart, so happy that my friends had come over, and my artistic, dreamy side burst forth like an eruption. I wrote line after line of a new song while Cris lounged on my bed, devouring one of the erotic romance novels she had stolen from my shelf, with Belladonna deeply asleep, snuggled next to her.
Cris and Ana met at my door when I was walking my friends out; Ana had come over to hang out with me without any notice. She was acting strange, distracted. It was pretty random since Ana is super jealous and didn’t even manage a smile for Cris, who, on the other hand, is antisocial and didn’t even try to be friendly.
I had to smack Harry in the head because he just started filming for Josiah, whispering, “Look at Ana meeting Isa’s new lover.” Sometimes, I think he should be studied by NASA. I wanted to make him swallow his phone because the atmosphere was already tense with the rivalry between the two.
Well, they come from two different worlds. My friends from Ravina and those from college. At some point, they will lower their guards with each other. And I can’t judge either of them. Cris is dark and brooding. That’s just her personality; she speaks in a slow, drained voice, wears gothic clothes, and hardly ever likes to hang out during the day. She prefers to go out at night when she wants to, because she also likes to go “from class to her room” and binge-watch series or read while listening to music. That’s just how Cris is. She doesn’t do it out of malice; she just can’t overflow with friendliness. And I’m sure that once Ana manages to put aside all that jealousy and embrace my new friend, Cris will open up with her like she does with me, and the two will get along.
I also can’t judge Ana’s possessiveness. I’m just like that. I used to get so jealous of her with Luana and the other friends she made, especially when we were fighting. I would see them from a distance on the street and get mad with rage.
I kept composing by hand for the rest of the day because it’s an addiction; I can only write my songs in pencil. The sound of graphite sliding across the paper feels good to me, and I can’t even explain why. I just like it; I even feel that the pain in my hand from hours of doing this is good. I also don’t like typing my songs and often get too lazy to transfer them to the computer. I’ll do it at some point.
I fought to expel you
To the point of going crazy
I finished the verses, and only after staring at the entire song and realizing what I was expressing in the lyrics did I notice the two tickets Cris had placed next to me on my desk.
“Tickets to the Singles Night?” I frowned.
“Oh, it’s happening today. I thought it might cheer you up... drink, dance, kiss some boys,” she said, removing her oversized reading glasses and looking at me while wearing an old lady cow-print nightgown.
She didn’t look well at all. And I’m such a jerk! Sometimes it takes me a while to realize when someone is feeling down. Cris had droopy eyes, no makeup, and came over wearing that outfit. Normally, she wears dark pajamas around campus, not a nightgown an old lady would wear.
“And Vitor?” I raised an eyebrow because it was strange for her to invite me to a party and not mention her boyfriend.
“He cheated on me...”
“Wait, but weren’t you guys dating?” I scoffed, but when I saw the tears welling up in her eyes, I frowned and felt like punching that bastard in the face. Her chin trembled, and something squeezed in my heart. Poor thing! I like her! She doesn’t deserve this. “I’m so sorry!”
“I saw a bunch of messages from a ton of girls from the Revolta on his phone. One of them asked, ‘What does he have with the blue-haired giraffe?’ and Vitor said...” Then she let out a sob, and I walked over to the bed, not allowing myself to feel jealous as she clutched Belladonna, who was lying next to her. “...that he only slept with me when he didn’t have a better option.”
I opened my mouth, furious. What a jerk! And what about that line about her being his soulmate? He managed to fool me too with his love story about how Cris was his girlfriend and all that.
She looked so sad! Cris’s face showed how deeply that phrase had affected her. How can there be such sons of bitches out there? Why toy with a girl like this? Vitor was the one who kept trying to force a relationship with her, which she resisted, insisting they weren’t dating but always respected him as if they were. I had never seen her look at any guy or girl at the college with anything but friendly eyes. She was in love with him and couldn’t fake otherwise, even when she tried.
“He’s a jerk, Cris! You’re beautiful and don’t deserve that piece of crap! You deserve something better! Let’s go to this damn party, grab some hot guys, drink, dance, and you’ll forget he ever existed,” I said, stroking her arm, trying to comfort her.
Cris simply released the cat and threw herself onto me, wrapping her arms around my neck and crying.
I froze.
I felt like I was falling into a hole in the ice, searching for a way out of those icy waters that burned my skin.
I took short breaths, feeling my heart in my throat. However, now that I’m an adult, I can think a little more during my moments of triggers.
I beat on the ice in my mind until I could emerge and crawl out of the cold water of my trauma.
Inhale.
Exhale.
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