Facing the Abyss
We arrived at our loft, and I set the kids to play in the living room before looking at my husband and crossing my arms.
"We need to talk," I said firmly.
My husband nodded and grabbed a notebook and our bills. We sat at the dining table, and Carlos opened the notebook, revealing several negative balances.
"What's this?" I asked, running my fingers over the lines, feeling nervous. "Since when have we been in the red?"
"Two months after I got laid off," Carlos replied, taking a deep breath. "I didn't want to worry you or burden you with it, so... I started trying to find a way to... pay the bills with what we had. But it became a snowball effect... I'm so sorry, Dália," he finished, attempting to hold my hand, but I pulled away from his touch.
I picked up the bills he had also brought, and most of them were stamped in red, indicating they were overdue, including the mortgage on our other apartment. We weren't just losing the new apartment; we were also losing the other one. Despair washed over me, and tears started to fall. It seemed like everything was lost, and there was nothing I could do, except...
"Dália, say something, please," my husband pleaded, making me look at him with anger. He shouldn't have hidden this from me.
"It's time for you to get a job," I said, getting up from the table.
"Dália..."
"Any job! Figure it out!" I continued, walking toward the boys' room.
"It's not that simple," Carlos said, following me.
"I'm not asking for it to be simple; I want you to get any job!" I said, standing in the middle of the living room, observed by our children.
"Even my old job?" Carlos asked.
"What does 'any job' mean to you?" I asked before turning and going to my room.
***
I didn't have dinner, nor did I spend time with my children. I just lay in bed waiting... for something I had no idea about. I fell asleep without Carlos coming to bed, probably afraid of something worse happening between us. Maybe afraid of us fighting. Either way, he chose to sleep in one of our guest rooms, at least we still had those.
The next day, I got up, got ready, and took the children to the kitchen to make breakfast. After finishing making the coffee, I poured a generous cup and then went over the idea I had: I would go to the bank to see the options we had for our debts. With the crisis, they might be more flexible, after all, it's better to receive something than nothing. Carlos appeared in a suit and tie, carrying his briefcase and with his hair neatly styled. He walked past me and kissed my forehead before pouring his cup of coffee. He looked me up and down, seeing me all dressed up, and then asked:
"Are you going out?"
"I'm going to the bank to see our options," I replied before taking another sip. "And you?"
"Interviews. I spoke to some contacts and managed to secure a few for this week."
"Great," I said, placing my cup on the sink and then moving away from him, but Carlos pulled me back. "What's wrong?"
"I'm sorry, I swear I didn't want to hide any of this from you."
"It's too late for that," I said, stepping away.
I walked towards the living room, picked up my children, and went to the garage, where I got into my car and buckled them into their seats. I drove off to the bank, hoping everything would work out.
***
My account manager typed rapidly on her computer as I observed her. Her fingers moved so quickly, but time didn't pass at the same speed, and my anxiety was already off the charts. She stopped typing, squinted at the screen, took a deep breath, and walked over to the huge collective printer. Within seconds, she returned with two sheets of paper: one with my mortgage debt and the other with the loft financing. The combined debt was practically three times the value of my current apartment. I looked at my account manager, unable to believe the interest rates she presented to me.
"Isn't there a way to offer some discount or something?" I asked.
"Dália, the discounts I can offer you are for full settlement of the debt. However, I believe you don't have that much money," the manager explained, looking back at her computer screen.
"What about a payment plan?" I asked, trying to see the screen, hoping to find a monthly payment I could manage.
"I can't offer you that since there have been previous payment plans that were not fulfilled. The only thing you can do is pay the current debt amount."
"Three million?" I practically yelled, scaring Marisol, who started crying. "I don't have that money..."
"It's the best we can do given your current situation," my account manager informed me. "You're already four installments behind, and in four days, we'll protest another one, and your case will go to the legal department. Once it's there, there's nothing more I can do."
I got up from the chair, rocking Marisol, and then took Juan's hand, leading my children to the bank's exit, ignoring the manager calling my name. I put my children back in the car and then sat in the driver's seat, looking at my trembling hands. I needed to calm down...
"Mamá, can we go to Grandpa's house?" Juan asked, playing with his toy. "Please..."
I looked at my son through the rearview mirror; not everything was lost. It was the moment I would have to swallow my pride and turn to the last person on my list.