Recurrence

2009

Carlos's arms embrace me, startling me. I look at the clock, and it's already nine in the morning, making me happy to know that he was still in bed with me. He smells my hair and kisses my ear, saying:

"Good morning, love. I love you."

"Good morning... I love you too," I reply, turning to face my husband's face. I touch his hair and smile, saying, "I'm glad you're still here... I thought you were going to the office."

"No," says Carlos, kissing the tip of my nose. "They don't need me that much. So, I think you'll see more of me around here."

"Really?" I ask, hardly believing it. I hug my husband and say, "That's great! If it's a good thing."

"Yes, I think so," says Carlos. "It's always good to be with you, Dália. And even if they didn't give me a break, I would find a way. I miss being with you."

"I miss it too," I reply with a choked voice. "I miss you so much."

"I want us to go back to how we were. Will you try with me?" Carlos asks, running his fingers through mine.

"Of course," I reply, kissing his hand. "Always."

"Great," says Carlos, pulling me closer to him. "Now, I have some not-so-good news. Your parents called me and said they would like to throw you a surprise party for your birthday." I roll my eyes; it's truly terrible news. "Since I know you hate surprises and celebrating your birthday... I'm letting you know in advance."

"Thank you," I reply. "But my birthday is still a month away."

"Yes, but think of the positive side: At least you'll start receiving early gifts..." says Carlos. "I can even give you a gift right now..." He then puts his hand under my nightgown. "...and every day until your birthday."

"Interesting proposition," I say, kissing my husband. "I accept your gifts, starting from now."

"That's my girl," says Carlos, pulling me close again.

***

After the rejection I received from Mr.X, I decided to work on my marriage, which is going well. Carlos started spending more time at home, and I focused more on my studies... now, as for Mr.X... well, that's the worst part.

Mr.X entered.

Mr.X left.

Mr.X entered.

I couldn't block him from my messenger; in fact, I don't see a reason to do so. He just opened my eyes to reality. The problem is that I still feel something for him... I catch myself always thinking about what he's doing, or if he's doing well... Every day, I open the messenger, hoping for a message from him, any sign. But all I have from him are his entries and exits. After a while, I started to think that maybe he was trying to get my attention with his constant presence. A sign, coming from his constant entries and exits. Until one day, I couldn't resist and opened the chat window. It was unbearable to wonder how he was doing when he was right there online, completely available to respond to me:

Dália Penedo Salazar says:
Good afternoon, X.

Mr.X says:
Good afternoon, Dália. How are you?

Dália Penedo Salazar says:
I'm great, and you?

Mr.X says:
How are you REALLY? How is your marriage going?

I forgot that he knows me better than I know myself. I take a deep breath and smile as if he could see me.

Dália Penedo Salazar says:
Seriously, I'm great. And my marriage is going very well.
Mr.X says:
Dália...

Dália Penedo Salazar says:
Do you want to know if I'm hurt by what you said that day? No, I'm not anymore. I perfectly understood what you meant. And you're right, it was all in my head. I appreciate the advice you gave me; they helped me salvage my marriage. Today, I know how to handle what we have very well, X. I assure you.

Mr.X says:
Are you sure?

Dália Penedo Salazar says:
Absolutely. Want proof? How about we play a little, and you draw your own conclusions? I'm taking off my blouse, slowly.

Mr.X says:
You don't need to prove anything to me, Dália. I believe you.

Dália Penedo Salazar says:
I place your hands over my bra while I unbutton my black skirt. Your breathing becomes more rapid...

Mr.X says:
I take your lips while unclipping your bra. Your breasts eagerly spring forth at my touch. My repressed desire drives me to throw you onto my desk and devour them with ferocity while you pull my hair.

Dália Penedo Salazar says:
I take off your belt and lower your pants, finding your throbbing penis waiting for me. I hold it in my hand and pleasure you with desire.

Mr.X says:
You're so hot, Dália. I remove your hand and move down between your legs, thirsty for your taste. I lick you forcefully; your breathing increases, and you moan with pleasure with each thrust of my fingers inside you... but I don't want you to come. I penetrate you with my penis, making you scream. Just the way you like it. You scratch me, you bite me... I fondle your breasts while you ride on top of me. Your eyes condemn you: You're filled with desire.

Dália Penedo Salazar says:
I squeeze your buttocks and pull you closer to me; I want you entirely inside me. Make me come, X. Just the way you know.

Mr.X says:
I turn you around and enter you with even more force. I spank your ass, making you moan. I pull your hair, bringing you closer to me. Our rhythm is intense; I feel you getting hotter with each moment. You beg for more; I stimulate your clitoris while thrusting forcefully. That's it, baby, come for me. You arch your body, arousing me... I'm close... oh, Dália... come for me, baby... ahhhh... we are one... you and me...

My orgasm comes shortly after his words, and I convulse in my chair as tears stream down my face. What have I done? What the hell am I doing?

Mr.X says:
Dália... are you okay?

Dália Penedo Salazar says:
I'm great, it was perfect, X. You're amazing! Now I can do my tasks... more relaxed.

Mr.X says:
Hahaha, the same old Dália. I'm glad you're back; I missed you, sweet.

Dália Penedo Salazar says:
I have to go; I have some things to do. Goodbye, X.

Mr.X says:
Goodbye, Dália.

In truth, I have nothing to do, but the feeling I thought I had overcome has returned with full force. I'm still in love with him. On top of that, I have the guilt of what I just did. It's the first time I feel like I've betrayed my husband... And it hurts to know that I'm hurting him...

"Darling, I'm home," Carlos shouts from the living room.

I wipe away my tears and stand up from the chair. I finish taking off the rest of my clothes and walk, naked, into the living room. There, I find Carlos admiring our picture of Paris hanging above the key holder. He turns around and stares at me, surprised.

"Wow, is that for me?" Carlos asks. He approaches and asks, "What's the occasion?"

"No occasion, just a way to thank you for being the best husband in the world," I reply, pressing my naked body against Carlos. I kiss his lips with all my desire, making him sigh. I hold his hand and say, "Come on, I want you."

I lead my husband to the bedroom, where I undress him piece by piece, with kisses. He sits on the bed, and I take off his shoes. I position myself between his legs, kiss him, and descend until I find his waiting penis. I pleasure him eagerly, despite my mind condemning me for what I did. The more I condemn myself, the more I pleasure my husband, who moans in astonishment at my expertise. He puts his hands in my hair, trying to guide me, but I'm uncontrollable.

"Dália... love... like this... I won't hold back..." Carlos tries to say.

"Don't hold back," I say, licking his glans.

I go back to pleasuring him with more force; I know Carlos is close to climaxing, so I increase the speed. In no time, Carlos arches forward, roaring with pleasure as I expertly finish the oral. He lifts me from between his legs and places me on his lap, brushing my hair away from my face.

"You're perfect, my love," Carlos says. "I couldn't ask for anyone better in my life. Thank you for choosing me."

His words destroy me even more, making me feel even guiltier. I cry, embracing my husband, who pulls away and kisses my face.

"What's wrong, love?" Carlos asks, confused. "Did I say something wrong?"

"No, you're perfect," I replied between sobs. "It's me who's foolish."

"Hey, I love you. Don't forget that."



As I hold onto Carlos, I promise myself that this would be the first and last time I would have a relapse with X.