Crossroads of Dreams

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RE: NGO
From: richard@hotmail.com
Sent: Saturday, November 3, 2012, 09:03:45
To: Dalia Penedo Salazar (daliapenedosalazar@hotmail.com)

Hello Dalia,
This is Richard, we met in Africa. I'm sending this email because I have a project that I know is closely related to you. It's an NGO aimed at helping the children of Africa, just like you, they need a lot of support.
The NGO will be more present in Guinea, where, as you saw, children are most affected by child malnutrition, abandonment, and education. One of the goals is to establish agreements with three orphanages, as well as build a school, a health center, and a food supply facility. The NGO will also partner with various other social projects, including Lac Rose (Senegal), Mali, Mozambique, and Cape Verde.
I would like you to be part of this initiative, being our manager and helping turn this dream into reality. In two weeks, I will be in Barcelona negotiating with a financier who has shown interest in the idea, and I hope to meet you as well, preferably with an answer.

Looking forward to your response,
Richard Wright
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I read the email a few more times, jotting down some ideas in my notepad to discuss with Richard. Then I close the tab, leaving only the main one indicating that I read his email.

richard@hotmail.com NGO 11/03/2012
x@rlc.com Sweet 10/25/2012

As I said, many things have happened... And in this one year, I've thought of every possible way to say goodbye to X, but in all of them, I always end up talking to him and going back to what we were. I look once again at the unread email, my left-hand rests on the keyboard, while my right hand holds the mouse... One click, just one click separates me from X. I turn and look at my sleeping husband, oblivious to my dilemma. The mouse arrow drags across the page, with all my willpower, towards my choice: I close the page of my email, shut down my laptop, and within a few minutes, I'm lying in bed, breathless. I did it, I finally did it. I close my eyes, and my mind warns me: the email is still in the inbox, waiting for me.
***
I wake up feeling refreshed and full of ideas for the NGO, almost managing to forget that I have an email from X in my inbox. I get up, bath Juan, and get him ready to go to our home while Carlos finishes packing our things. I'm excited to talk to him about the email, but I don't want to discuss it in front of my parents, as they are not people who unconditionally support me, as those who know them already know.

After a quick breakfast, we return to our own place and place all of Juan's gifts in the living room, where my son laughs excitedly at the colorful and eye-catching wrappings, making both of us laugh as well. While helping to open the presents, I decide to share my news with Carlos.

"Yesterday, I talked to Richard about what he came here for," I begin, trying to find the right words. My husband plays with an unpacked blue teddy bear, making Juan laugh. "And it's something really good."

"That's great, my love," Carlos replies, looking at me after handing the toy to Juan. He picks up another gift and opens it slowly. "So, what is this good thing?"

"Richard invited me to be the manager of the NGO he is creating. He sent me an email explaining that the NGO will work in orphanages, finance schools, health centers, and food supply centers. Not to mention that it will help social projects in Lac Rose, Mozambique, Mali, and Cape Verde. But the main focus will be Guinea, where children are facing serious issues with child malnutrition, health, abandonment, and education," I explain, enthusiastic.

Carlos stands still, looking at me attentively, just like last year when I said I was going to Africa. He crumples the paper where the train set was wrapped, hands the gift to Juan, and rubs his face. From his gesture, I already know that a huge storm is coming. He turns to me, holds my hands, and says, "So, what are you waiting for to accept?"

"Huh? What do you mean?" I ask incredulously. What happened to my husband? "Well, I wanted to talk to you first before giving a definitive answer... Is everything okay with you then?"

"Dalia Penedo Salazar, it's okay with me if it's okay with you. I just want you to be happy," he replies.

"Thank you for your support, love," I say before showering my husband's face with kisses. I sit on his lap and continue showering him with affection. "I'm so happy."

"That's great because I also have something to tell you," Carlos says, stroking my shoulder.

"What is it?" I ask, analyzing my husband's expression. I know he's worried. It means he's thinking about how to tell me, indicating that it's a serious matter. Well, regardless of the subject, he always gets worried about my reaction. He thinks I'm too exaggerated with news that don't please me. "Tell me, Carlos, what is it?"

"Well, as you know, we've been negotiating with the Portuguese for almost nine months... And yesterday, they sent their response regarding the franchise."

"And then?"

"They accepted the project and want to start as soon as possible," Carlos says, but his expression remains concerned. He puts me back on the couch, then takes a deep breath. "I'm going to Lisbon tomorrow to finalize the deal, and I'll be back... within a maximum of ten days."

"That's okay," I say, looking at my husband in search of what he's missing in telling me. I put my hair in a bun and pick Juan up from the floor, sitting him on my lap. "Is that all?"

"Yes," Carlos replies, tense.

"Are you sure?" I ask, giving him another chance to tell me.

"Yes," Carlos says, touching Juan's cheek. He gets up, kisses my forehead, and says, "For now, at least."

For now, those words didn't give me any sense of security that Carlos wanted to convey. I watch him walk towards our bedroom. I could easily go there and ask about this "for now," reminding him of our promise not to spend a single day apart. But it's better not to. What are ten days of traveling? Not to mention that it's only a two-hour flight from Barcelona to Lisbon... There's nothing I need to worry about... right?