A Heart's Turmoil
I open my wardrobe and start choosing the cold-weather clothes I'll take to Lausanne. I smile, thinking about the happiness X will feel when he sees me at the airport, and how wonderful these days will be. And if we follow what I have in mind, these days will be few. Soon, I'll have to return... and do this more often... maybe even live there? Juan would love to have snow every day; I'm sure Carlos would hardly visit our son, and if he did, he would bring Duny along. Maybe with time, I'll start accepting it in my life. A life where Carlos won't be present anymore, but X will. Will he accept Juan willingly? Of course, the first thing that comes to my mind is: If he's the father, he will undoubtedly be willing to know his son and raise him. I shake my head, dispelling all those thoughts, one day at a time. I lie down to sleep, but my anxiety only allows me to think about X.
The next morning, I wake up Juan very early and take him to my mother's house, who insists on saying that she's rooting for everything to go well in Lisbon. However, Lisbon is so far from here, and all I want is for it to stay that way. All I can manage is to offer her a forced smile and kiss my son's forehead, who cries a little as if he knew that his mother was going to travel to a destination that would change our lives forever. I keep looking back until I get into the car and drive away.
I arrive at the airport, and my heart races when I see that there are a few minutes left until boarding. I sit in the waiting area with my phone in hand, observing the passengers awaiting boarding. Next to me, a couple is exchanging passionate kisses, oblivious to everyone around them. A nostalgic smile spreads across my lips, and for good reason: A few years ago, that couple was Carlos and me on our honeymoon. The couple notices that I'm staring at them, and they become embarrassed.
"Sorry, we are..." the young woman starts.
"Just married," I complete, smiling at her. "I bet you're boarding for your honeymoon."
"Yes, we're going to Switzerland, right, honey?" the bride says, looking at her husband.
"Don't apologize; I know exactly how it is -I've been through that," I say.
"Are you going to see your husband?" the young woman asks, curious and trying to guess.
"No, I'm visiting a... friend," I respond, hesitantly.
"Alright," the young woman replies, feeling a bit awkward.
By the look on her face, I feel like she may have realized the purpose of my trip, or it might just be my imagination. Guilt, the voice in my head says. Either way, she returns her attention to her husband, and I return to my phone. Maybe it would be better to talk to Carlos and tell him that I plan to leave him and that when he returns to Lisbon, we will finalize our divorce. No, not yet. First, I'll go to Lausanne to see X's true intentions, and then I'll put an end to my marriage. If X really wants to be with me, he will also end his marriage.
"Boarding is now open," the airline employee announces.
The passengers get up and start forming the boarding lines. I get up and join the queue, but not without continuing to think about what my future will be after this trip. Maybe we shouldn't stay in Lausanne; according to my calculations, his time there is almost up. How will he react when he sees me? In fact, I'll have to call him as soon as I arrive to pick me up... but why not do it now? Oh, I wonder how he'll react.
"Ticket and documents, please," the airline employee requests from everyone.
I open my bag, looking for my ticket while dialing his phone number. I hear the endless ringing until the call is answered.
"Hello, Dalia," X says from the other end of the line.
"Ma'am, ticket and documents, please," the employee urges, looking at me.
"Hello, X," I say, biting my lip as I continue to search for the darn ticket. I smile and then reveal, "I'm on my way."
"Well, I can't receive you at my house," X explains, seriously.
"I don't mind, I can stay in a hotel. I just need you to pick me up at the airport. The rest, leave it to me," I say, still excited, while they call the passengers of my flight to board.
"Impossible, because I'm with my family here," X explains, somewhat coldly.
"Wait, you're with your family in Lausanne?" I ask, shocked, standing at the boarding gate, holding up the line of passengers. "But you always told me you were alone in Lausanne."
"Yes, but my wife decided to come here, support me, and try to sort things out," X explains.
"Ma'am, the ticket and your ID, please."
"But you promised we'd have some time just for us. You said the invitation still stood," I say, distraught. This can't be happening. I stop in the middle of the airport. "You said you wanted me by your side in Switzerland. What happened?"
"Dalia, understand one thing: when I promise, I keep my word, but I never promised you anything," X rebuts mercilessly. "You need to sort out your problems with your husband, as we'll never be happy together. And I love my family."
"X..." I call, crying.
"Dalia, you're young, and you have your whole life ahead of you. Don't ruin it thinking there would be a future for us. When you need something, just send an email."
The silence on the other end of the line is all I'm left with.
"Ma'am, the ticket and documents, or you won't be able to board," the employee repeats. "What will it be?"
Log in with Google Account
Chapters
Favorite
Settings
