Happy Birthday

One month later...

That had been the first relapse, but not the last. I had many more after that. We were like a powder keg; we didn't always need a reason for everything to ignite. The worst part for me wasn't the relapses but the feeling that lingered in me after the "play" sessions with X. It was a mix of passion and guilt that gnawed at me from within. To alleviate the guilt, I seduced my husband, who considered me the perfect wife since we had sex every day and in various ways.

No matter how much I wanted to distance myself, the closer I got to X. Things are never as we want them to be, and I am living proof of that. Every day, I felt more involved in the web I had caused: I loved my husband, but I was irreversibly in love with Mr. X.

I sought a way to put an end to everything and take control of the situation. I genuinely believed that once I started my vacation, I would find a way to handle it all. But it only meant more free time with Mr.X, which was my downfall. With every good morning and good night, with every "playful" conversation and hidden intentions, I sank deeper into that sea of emotions.

"So, what do you think, love?" Carlos asks, snapping me out of my thoughts. He looks at me as if expecting a response.

"Are you daydreaming again, dear?" my mother asks, staring at me.

I look around, and everyone is waiting for my approval for my birthday. It's a beautiful Sunday, a day for lunch at my parents' house. To be honest, I have no idea how I ended up here. It's as if I switched to autopilot and only woke up just now.

"Do as you wish," I reply, irritated. "You know I hate celebrating my birthday."

They look at each other and start deciding the details without my help. My birthday falls on the Friday of that week, so they decided to celebrate it on Saturday. We stay a little longer before finally heading home. I spend the journey in silence, thinking about my choices and the impact they've had on me.

"Are you okay?" Carlos asks as we step into the apartment.

"Yes, just a slight headache. I'm going to the bedroom to rest for a bit," I say, heading to the bedroom.

I close the door and turn on my computer. I hear the TV in the living room being turned on; Carlos will undoubtedly spend the whole afternoon playing games. I open my MSN and open Mr.X's chat window.

Dália Penedo Salazar says:
Good afternoon, X.

Mr.X says:
Good afternoon, Doce. How was lunch at your parents' house?

Dália Penedo Salazar says:
It was fine... until they started talking about my birthday party.

Mr.X says:
So your birthday is coming up... When is it?

Dália Penedo Salazar says:
Friday, but believe me, I don't like celebrating my birthday.

Mr.X says:
Why not?

Dália Penedo Salazar says:
I feel old, as if time is passing by and I haven't done anything worthwhile in life.

Mr.X says:
Is there something you wish I could give you for your birthday?

Dália Penedo Salazar says:
I don't wish for anything. I don't even celebrate my birthday, so you can imagine I don't desire gifts, X. By the way, I only celebrate if someone throws a surprise party. Just to be clear, I hate surprises.

I stop writing and pay attention to what Mr.X said: I can ask him for anything... Anything at all... I smile; I know exactly what I want from him.

Dália Penedo Salazar says:
But since you're offering... I want you to call me on my birthday. That way, I can hear the voice behind the words.

Mr.X says:
As you wish, I can't guarantee a specific time since things are quite busy here at the company.

Dália Penedo Salazar says:
No problem. I'll give you my cellphone number. My husband will surely take me out for dinner, but he won't mind if I answer the phone.

I give him my number, feeling joyful. I'll finally get to hear X's voice.
***

"Good morning," Carlos says, hugging me around the waist and smelling my hair. I'm finishing preparing our croissants. "Did you wake up with the rooster?"

"Well, I think it's because of the date," I reply, trying to disguise my anxiety. It's my birthday, the day I finally get to hear his voice. I woke up before six, which is very rare for me. I hand Carlos the croissant and pour myself a cup of coffee from the coffee maker. "What's the plan for today?"

"I have a meeting today. We'll discuss the project and everything else. And tonight," Carlos says, spinning me around in the kitchen, "we have a reservation at your favorite restaurant at nine. And then... a super special surprise."

"Hmm... what surprise is that?" I ask, kissing my husband.

"It's a secret," Carlos replies. He hugs me and kisses me passionately until his pager goes off. "Damn, work is calling."

"Go fight crime, my superhero," I say, smiling at Carlos as he leaves with the croissant in one hand and his briefcase in the other.

I have breakfast while staring at my cell phone. X will call me at any moment; I need to be alert. Just as I step away to put the dishes in the dishwasher, my phone rings, causing my heart to race. I cross the kitchen and pick up my phone, answering nervously:

"Finally!"

"Happy birthday, Dalia!" Filomena says from the other end of the line.

"Hi, Fi. Thanks," I say, disappointed.

"Wow, were you expecting someone else?" Fi asks suspiciously.

"My sister... Well, how are you?" I ask, changing the subject.

"I'm good. I called to check on how you're doing."

"I'm fine," I reply. Then I hear the two beeps indicating another call on the line. I look at the caller ID and it shows an unknown number... Could it be Mr.X? "Fi, sorry, but I have another call on the line..."

"Okay, see you when classes resume," Fi says. "Bye."

"Bye," I say and hang up, answering the other call. "Hello?"

"Hello, is it from this number that a beautiful woman is celebrating another spring?" Julio says from the other end of the line.

"Hi, Julio," I reply.

"Hi, delicious. Congratulations! I know you hate this date, but I had to call and say hi."

"Thank you for remembering," I say, not very pleased. "How's New York?"

"Fantastic. I'm sorry I couldn't spend this special day with you, but... you know how my life is."

"Yes, I know," I say. "I'm glad you called."

"Well, I just called for that. Happy birthday, and have an amazing day filled with accomplishments."

"Thank you," I say, impatiently. "Goodbye."

The rest of the day was not much different; with every call, my heart filled with hope. On this birthday, everyone called except X. Had he forgotten it was my birthday? I rush to the bedroom and log into MSN. He's offline.

It's already getting dark when I hear the doorbell. I find it strange that the doorman didn't let me know someone was coming up. I open the door and come face to face with a huge bouquet of red roses.

"Mrs. Salazar?" the delivery guy asks, holding the flowers.

"That's me," I replied, admiring the arrangement.

He hands me the roses and gives me the delivery slip. I struggle to close the door. Then I sit on the couch and search for the envelope that emerges, red among the roses. I open it and find a beautiful message:

"You are at the peak of maturity and experience, and you should be very proud of that. Thank you for being a part of my life, and for being attentive to me in the moments when I sought your help and support. I care a lot about you, and I pray to God that you have many good days ahead and that we can continue to understand each other in our relationship. Happy birthday, may you be happy on this day.
Always yours,
Carlos."

I smile, admiring the beautiful bouquet. I look for a vase to put them in. I arrange the roses and place them on the dining table. As much as I want to wait for Mr.X, time is passing, and I need to get ready for dinner. I take a long shower, do my makeup, and enhance the curls in my hair. I want to look beautiful for my husband. I grab my green dress with an open back, a bit short, but Carlos has never been jealous of my clothes.

I hear the front door open, so I go there and find Carlos, who stops in his tracks when he sees me all dressed up.

"Wow, you look stunning," Carlos exclaims, practically drooling. "At this rate, we won't make it to the restaurant." He kisses me and says, "I'll take a quick shower and be right back."

I sit on the couch, staring at my cell phone. Still, no sign of X. I start thinking about all the terrible things that could have happened to him. Then I entertain the thought that maybe his wife found out about us... until I conclude that maybe he won't call me. Maybe I'm not special enough...

"Shall we go?" Carlos asks, startling me.

"Let's go," I reply, leaving my cell phone on the coffee table. I hold onto my husband's arm, and we walk toward the exit.