One step at a time
**Days turned into weeks, and the work on decorating X's house continued intensely.** Thirty rooms weren't a joke, and I felt more challenged with each room, and he was on the same page as me. After that day when he confessed his feelings, X never brought up the subject again and didn't even make his usual advances. He simply started respecting my space and, it seemed, my professional side. Of course, from time to time, I would catch him looking at me differently, that typical look of desire that disarmed me and made me want to run to him. However, it was as if I had become immune to his charm, or maybe I was still hurting. Either way, we were managing to handle each other better without that so palpable sexual tension. Even now, as we were having lunch/dinner with Chinese food and analyzing what was missing in that space. I had the opinion that we should maintain the open concept that currently merged the dining room with the music room. X, on the other hand, preferred to build a huge unnecessary wall to close off the area. We were discussing and laughing when my new phone rang, displaying an unknown number. My expression turned serious, and I answered:
"Hello, Dalia," Carlos's voice came from the other end of the line.
***
**The longing flooded me as I heard Carlos's voice.** It had been so long since I heard his voice calling my name. The feeling must have been visible on my face, as X looked at me with a certain discomfort. He even resumed focusing on his food when he noticed me staring at him. I bit my lip and then said:
"Hello, Carlos. Long time no see. Remember that I exist?"
"Dalia, I'm calling to let you know that next weekend I'll be in Barcelona and would like to spend the weekend with them... If possible. I arrive on Friday..."
"Alone?" I asked with a hint of irritation.
"Dalia, if it's too much trouble to see me, I'll ask your mother to pick them up and bring them to me. Of course, if you allow..."
"I want to know if you'll be here alone or with her?" I questioned, irritated.
"Alone," he limited his response.
"Great, I authorize it," I said, hearing Carlos's relieved breath.
"Thank you," Carlos said. "Goodbye."
"However, I want to talk to..." I didn't finish the sentence, as Carlos simply hung up on me.
I stared at my phone and tried to return the call, which rang until it went to voicemail. I tried at least four times until the "cell phone turned off" message started playing on the line. I wanted to throw that phone against the wall, but I restrained myself, holding the phone tightly between my hands. Finally, I put it down next to me and then picked up my container again, savoring the leftover cold ramen. X watched me attentively but let silence accompany us for a while.
"First call?" he asked before grabbing another piece of chicken with cashews.
"Yes..." I whispered before swallowing more ramen.
"At least it was better than my first call with Pandora," X commented without looking at me. It was the first time he had mentioned his wife's name since our argument. "It was more civil."
"If by 'civil' you mean 'better to hang up on my wife's face than deal with our marriage,' then yes, we were quite civil."
"Ex-wife," X said before taking more food into his mouth.
"What?" I asked, not understanding.
"You're his ex-wife," X explained, looking at me. "You said 'wife,' but you're actually his ex..."
"Actually, I'm still his wife," I interrupted, serious, putting my chopsticks inside the empty container. I grabbed a napkin, wiped my lips, got up from the table with the trash, and continued talking as I walked toward the kitchen to throw everything in the built-in stainless steel bin. "Carlos hasn't filed for divorce yet, and neither have I."
"Eventually, it will happen," X said, holding his trash. He handed it to me and continued. "Eventually, he will divorce, and you will have to deal with it. It's hard, I understand perfectly well because I've been through it."
"Yes, you've been through it, but you were the one who initiated the divorce," I said, looking at X, who took a deep breath.
"And do you think it makes a difference to the pain who initiated it?" X asked, serious. "It hurts the same way, Doce. We just have to learn to deal with it in the best way possible. And you need to..."
"That's enough, X. When the time comes, rest assured I'll be ready," I said, cutting the subject off.
"Do you know what I was thinking?" X asked in a tone that indicated he was about to change the subject, which left me quite relieved. "The decoration is almost finished, right?"
"Yes, probably by Thursday or Friday, I'll have everything in its place," I replied while squinting my eyes, analyzing the rooms that were still left. "Of course, if you give up on the wall in the dining room."
"I'll give up. I promise," X affirmed, putting his right hand on his chest. He smiled and continued, "What do you think about hosting an inauguration party?"
"An inauguration party?" I repeated, confused. "We, or rather, you."
"Both of us, because I'll do it in your honor," X responded, raising his finger to touch my lips. "Don't refuse. This house turned out perfect, and it's all thanks to you. It's only fair."
"X..." I said, removing his finger from my lips. "I don't think that's a good idea..."
"It will be on Sunday. So I think it's time for us to get back to work," X concluded, returning to the living room.
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