47-Baby Shopping

**Saviera's POV**

It's been two weeks since we found out Zuri is pregnant. Seeing her pass out at the doctor's office was one of the scariest moments of my life. I'm just thankful Daveed was close enough to her to not let her hit the ground and Doctor Ramirez instantly tended to her while I called an ambulance. Everything was so sudden and Zuri wouldn't wake up at all until the paramedics got an IV started and gave her some oxygen. Even then, she was kind of out of it. The doctor said her iron was dangerously low, so she'll have to take iron pills on top of her prenatal vitamins. Developing anemia during pregnancy is normal.
Zuri hasn't been to work yet because morning sickness is in full swing right now and she doesn't want to risk getting sick at work or passing out. I hate how hard this pregnancy is on her and I wish I could take all the sickness away from her.
We've not been going to my parent's house every Sunday like we used to because life has been so hectic for us and my parents have been doing a lot of traveling as well. They deserve to see the world, so I'm happy for them. This Sunday, they will be home and invited us over for a much-needed game day. I can't wait to see Dad and Daveed playing Trivial Pursuit together. My dad has warmed up to him a little bit, but when I called him a few weeks ago and told him about Zuri and I being in a polyamorous relationship with Daveed, he seemed hesitant about it. He's mostly glad that Zuri and I decided to get back together, but I wonder how he will feel about her being pregnant too. I know my dad was so adamant about Zuri and I getting married and with Daveed in the picture, it changes everything. This isn't what he imagined for us.
Zuri's parents aren't even aware of the relationship we have with Daveed and we can't keep it from them too much longer. We just aren't sure how they're going to react, especially having two babies before marriage. At some point, we have to face the fact that we're not living a normalized lifestyle so people are going to talk. We can't care about what people think of us, even if it is our own family.
"Do you want to get out of the house today? Maybe do some baby shopping?" I ask Zuri. We are starting to decorate the two rooms to prepare for the babies, so we have a ton of work to do. We decided to have two separate rooms for them so that one doesn't wake up the other in the middle of the night.
"I think that sounds like a good idea. Do you want to try driving today?" Since meeting with my new therapist, I've been working on gradually facing through my fears. I stayed home alone a few days ago while Daveed and Zuri went to get us ice cream so that I could start getting used to it. The more time that passed, the harder it was for me to breathe. I could feel my heartbeat harder and faster as the air thickened. I told Daveed I would call if it became too much and he would come right back, but my pride wouldn't let me. I want so badly to do this on my own and feel normal again. By the time they got back, fifteen minutes later, I was curled up on the couch covered in sweat and shaking. After that, Daveed and Zuri both agreed to not leave me alone again for a while. I know this isn't able to be fixed overnight, but I was going to try.
"I'll try driving back home so that I can drive around the parking lot at the mall and pull over quick if I'm not ready to drive." I've learned that pride isn't going to fix this problem and there are no shortcuts.
"Okay, let's go. I'll text Daveed to let him know." She said. Daveed went to his parent's house for a family lunch and he's going to tell everyone about the new baby and Zuri. His siblings already knew about the way we got together, so I'm sure they won't be as surprised as his parents are. He wanted to go by himself today just in case someone had something negative to say. He didn't want to put us in an uncomfortable situation.
He texted back: **My card is on the island in the kitchen. Use it.**
Zuri rolls her eyes, "Why does he think he has to pay for everything? I'm still getting paid while I'm on leave."
She texted back: **Nah. I'll use my card. I love you! See you later <3**
"Okay, we're out." We leave the house without his card.
The first place we stop at is a hardware store so we can get paint, paintbrushes, and rollers. It's so fun picking out the colors that we want to use, but it took us forever. I decided on dark grey as the primary color for the walls and yellow for the baseboards and trim. I'll also do yellow curtains for the window and I want to get a white rocking chair with a white crib to match. Zuri chose three different shades of lighter grey and white for the baseboards and trim. She wants to do the lightest color of grey as the primary color and on an accent wall, she wants to do a pattern of triangles. The crib and rocking chair for that room will be dark cherry wood. We are trying to keep things neutral so we don't have to make dramatic changes as the kids grow up. Daveed asked us to move in with him and get rid of the apartment. As a family, that's the right thing to do.
"Can you believe we're about to be mothers?" Sometimes it feels like a dream.
She smiled, "Yeah as sick as I am, it's hard to question it." She spent the majority of the morning getting sick. She's been surviving off of crackers, soups, and ice cream. Our doctor prescribed her some nausea medicine, but it doesn't always help.
"It's going to be so worth it though. We're going to have the most beautiful babies and I can't wait to get maternity pictures and then family pictures after they're born. And we can do those cute ass Christmas cards to send to our friends and family." Speaking of friends, we haven't met up with ours in a long time. We text and call each other often, but we've all been so busy with life. We need to go out for lunch with them soon. Daveed is very introverted and doesn't hang out with a bunch of guys like most men do. He and Rory haven't been close since Zuri came back, but Daveed said he will come around once he finds someone else and realizes what he had with Zuri was just a fling.
"I'm excited too." We intertwine our fingers and go to check out when we have everything we need.
At the mall, we get a little carried away with buying baby clothes, blankets, socks, room decor, and mittens. We still don't know the gender of our babies, but there are so many unisex things to choose from, so we pick them all. Eight hundred dollars later, we feel satisfied.
We load up the car and I take a deep breath before I get behind the wheel. I know there isn't anyone in the back seat because we just put bags back there, but I look anyway.
"Deep breaths, Sav. You got this." Zuri encouraged. It's weird how much this affected my ability to drive and I can't explain why it's so significant. I start the engine, put it in drive, and gently take off. This isn't too bad. I drive around the parking lot for about five minutes until I gain the courage to get on the road. So far, so good. My heart is beating fast and I have to take steady breaths, but I'm not shaking or breaking out into a sweat, so this is a huge deal. I make it all the way home without having a total anxiety attack, so Zuri and I share a celebratory kiss as soon as we get out of the car.
"I can't believe I did it. Finally!" I feel like a huge load was lifted from my chest. Baby steps can feel like moving mountains.
While we carry in bags, Daveed pulls into the driveway and gets out of the car. He does not look happy.
"Stop carrying things. Go relax." It doesn't seem like a good idea to argue with him right now, so we go relax on the couch in the living room.
Things must not have gone very well at lunch with the family. When he finished carrying things in, he stands in front of us and just stares for a minute. Why do I feel like we're in trouble?
"How much did you two spend?" He asked.
"Eight-hundred something," Zuri answered and his eyes went huge.
"You couldn't have just taken my card? That's a lot of money, Zuri." So he's mad that we spend our own money? Oh, good grief.
"It's not a big deal. I'm getting paid every week and I have no bills right now other than my phone bill so I have a ton of money just sitting there. We need to contribute too, Daveed. There are three of us. There's no reason for you to pay for everything." She argued. I agree with her.
"Yeah, babe it's not a big deal. You already pay for so much. Let us take some stress off of you." I try to reason with him.
"It's my job to provide for you two and our babies. That's what a father is supposed to do. People are going to think I can't take care of my family. If you two want to buy yourselves something for fun then have at it, but necessities are my responsibility." He is way too hard on himself and how he provides for our home and children is no one's business.
"People will never question your ability to take care of us and if they do, then they're irrelevant and their opinions do not matter. It is just as much our responsibility as mothers to provide. This is a team effort and it is not meant for you to take on by yourself. Thinking you have to pay for everything by yourself is going to stress you out and drive you crazy. You're everything we ever could want in a man and you'll be the best dad. Stop being so hard on yourself." He runs a hand down his face. I know other things are bothering him right now.
"Come here." I scoot over and pat between Zuri and me. "What else is bothering you?" Zuri asked.
He sits down and pulls us closer to him.